Valentine’s Week 2020 Final Schedule! Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex!

I did it! Halfway through Aa Gale Lag Jaye (which I am loving, Shashi 4Ever), I realized that what we need most is more sex in our lives. And in our movies. So for the next two weeks, sex sex sex. Woo-hoo! Oh, this also means not all your suggestions made the cut, but sex often involves sacrifice.

Sunday 2/2/2020: Running Shaadi

I love love love this movie. And a large part of that is the matter of fact way it handles sex. You do it, if you are in love it means a lot but not everything. If you aren’t in love, sometimes it doesn’t mean anything at all.

Monday 2/3/2020: Aa Gale Lag Jaye

No context, just watch this song and decide if you want to see this movie. Make sure to get all the way through to the twist at the end!

Tuesday 2/4/2020: Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania

Some of my readers claim this as the best sex scene ever put on film. I don’t know if I would go THAT far, but it is pretty darn good. And I’ll write a new review (oooo!) to go with my existing reviews.

Wednesday 2/5/2020: Bangalore Days

You know what fixes an arranged marriage between strangers who have very little in common? SEX! Okay, and talking and respecting each other and blah blah, boring stuff. But then SEX.

Thursday 2/6/2020: Alaipayuthay/Saathiya

You know what is always great even when you are fighting, but also can’t solve all your problems if you are young and stupid and never talk things out? SEX!

Friday 2/7/2020: Humaare Dil Aapke Paas Hai

You know what doesn’t make you a broken person unworthy of love, or a satisfying sex life? RAPE! This is a very very odd movie, but also a very very happy movie. No, really. There’s kids, there’s Anil Kapoor, there’s ridiculous plot twists and lots of speeches about how rape survivors aren’t “ruined”. Oh, and the rape scene is handled very delicately, don’t worry, this movie is so light it is basically child-friendly.

Saturday 2/8/2020: Guddu

Having finally see it, I am 98% sure that Shahrukh and Manisha have sex right after this song. Later in the film, she says that she can recognize him because “after that night in the cave, your fragrance is permanently on my breath”. Right? That’s sex talk? Anyway, you all should watch it on Prime and then hop over to youtube to watch the last 5 minutes that Prime cuts off.

Sunday 2/9/2020: Aradhana

Sexiest sex song EVER! Fully clothed (basically), and they almost don’t touch, let alone kiss or anything. And this is why you should never get caught in the rain with your boyfriend when there is only one hotel room left and it happens to be next to a honeymoon couple singing a love song. Or why you SHOULD get caught in the rain with your boyfriend etc. etc., I don’t know your life goals

Monday 2/10/2020: Band Baaja Baarat

I don’t like that this movie has a sex scene. FIGHT ME!

Tuesday 2/11/2020: Kabhi Kabhi

Is Shashi Sex so powerful it drives Amitabh Love right out of your heart? Let’s discuss!

Wednesday 2/12/2020: Namukku Parkkan Munthirithoppukal

Such a beautiful beautiful movie. And really interesting with how it treats sex. There’s a lot of healthy sex, a young man having wet dreams about his girlfriend, a teenage boy having an honest talk with his older cousin about not being ashamed or afraid of his urges because they are natural and part of being human, and there’s also an increasingly disturbing household where sex is never discussed but always feels present in a way that is kind of unnatural and wrong.

Super healthy sex fantasy!

Thursday 2/13/2020: Doosra Aadmi

You know why college kids get married way way too young sometimes? SEX! If their parents just let them move in together, they’d have a lot longer to grow up and figure out if they were ready for marriage yet.

Friday 2/14/2020: Sanam Tere Kasam

Grand finale! Everyone’s favorite romantic sex scene movie! Because y’all are WEIRD!!!!! No one else likes this movie!!!! Why do you like this movie???? Besides rosebuds bathtub sex with a tormented hot dude.

Now, there may be movies out there with sex that I don’t know about. Let me know what I am missing! Obviously we don’t need any of those “oh no, sex has ruined my life in a variety of ways” misery things. But any of the “oh dear, we are young and in love and now we happen to be locked up alone in a room with a bed, what shall we do?” movies, those I want! Especial Tamil/Telugu ones, do people just not have sex in South India? Why am I blanking on movies?

They totally had sex here, right?

34 thoughts on “Valentine’s Week 2020 Final Schedule! Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex!

  1. HSKD may not have the best sex scene in all cinema ever, but certainly in Bollywood. Better than Band Baaja Baaraat for sure. The kiss was amazing, but the sex itself lacked. In HSKD, the sex was better than that initial kiss. I don’t know how to explain it. But I’m ready for all this.

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    • So glad someone is excited! I am left to assume no one else is interested in sex.

      On Sun, Feb 2, 2020 at 4:08 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Yay! I am so excited for this list.

    Oooh one suggestion for the sex theme: OK Jaanu. I think there are a handful of us who really really enjoy it. And if you hate it, (it’s a movie with Shraddha, so there’s a pretty good chance you’ll hate it) then we get a snarky Margaret review, which is always fun.

    P.S. My husband’s was so amused that I got customized swag with the jewel thief on it. I love my bag!

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    • Or, I could review OK Kanmani! The Tamil original, where they also have sex. But it’s less exciting because it is Dulquer instead of ARK.

      On Sun, Feb 2, 2020 at 6:09 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • You could review Ok Kanmani!, which I am going to guess is a better movie. But then you would miss watching sex scenes with ARK and that’s just a Valentine’s tragedy!

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        • I could watch Fitoor again for the ARK sex, but I don’t think I will ever have the strength to do that.

          On Sun, Feb 2, 2020 at 8:29 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. I may have said this before in this blog-ever so grateful to Mani Ratnam for ushering in sex into the lives of a whole generation of teens & pre teens through Roja.We would look forward for Independence/Republic Day when this movie would be broadcast on TV & it was definitely not patriotism egging us:

    Marriage to a hot guy who does romantic sweet nothings was the biggest sham sold to us.Watch from 3:10.

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      • Yes! Just don’t show up in the preview for some reason.

        Ive been avoiding Roja because it’s so complicated to explain the historical backstory. But heck, i could review it as purely a sex movie any old time!

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        • Whenever I watch this movie(cos I’m still 13),I skip the nationalism part(basically whole of second half)& marvel at Mani Ratnam’s visionary understanding of women’s psyche summed up via ‘marriage to Arvind Swamy’ plot.

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          • Can we have a moment for Bombay and the flour hug scene?

            On Sun, Feb 2, 2020 at 9:46 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Hahaha,yes. Also where he comes out of bath, sprinkles water on her & tries to touch a droplet on her neck. If this doesn’t prompt Margret to watch this movie for the theme she’s celebrating,I don’t know what will 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Kamal Hassan is known for his risque songs & scenes in Tamil. Rest are all very ‘cultured’ & ‘family oriented’.
    Sillunnu Oru Kadhal has some pretty good romance stuff including a bedroom scene.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Now you’ve asked for Telugu/Tamil –
    – Reema Sen in Minnale (RHTDM Tamil) – Vaseegara song lot better than Diya’s
    – Reema Sen in Chitram – a pre-marital scene due to which she becomes teen pregnant and both go to college as usual –

    – Hum Aapke Dil Pe… was a remake of Telugu movie “Pelli Chesukundam”
    – Check “Avunu” -with Harshvardhan Rane in lead role: from Wiki (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avunu_(film)): “Long time lovers Mohini(Poorna)and Harsha(Harshvardhan Rane) get married and move into a new community where Harsha had bought a house. Harsha’s parents come to stay with them for a few days and also to make sure that the marriage is not consummated before a certain auspicious time. Unknown to the inhabitants of the house a voyeuristic spirit lived there and it takes a certain fascination for Mohini. Unknown to Mohini the spirit follows her around every where and finds pleasure in watching her change clothes and taking a shower.”

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  6. I’d go for Satyam etc. or Fakira over Aa Gala Laag Jaa for sex when it comes to Shashi (or if you’re into extremely gross Desai sex, there’s that Ganga etc. movie with Amitabh, uuuugghghghgh).

    Shashi did a lot of it, but Govinda’s done A LOT of borderline censored songs. There’s the notorious one with Karishma but he has a huge breadth of sex metaphor songs, reaching from semi-naked thrusting and sexy robots all the way to that one with the lewd cricket and hockey metaphors (please keep your balls away from my goal, thank you).

    It’s hilarious to me when people are say the first proper movie kiss was in Raja Hindustani when there are definitely kisses in several films from the 70s (mostly but not only in Shashi films), and lord knows what to call all the stuff Govinda did. I don’t think either of them really gets enough credit for pushing the boundaries, actually, although they did it at opposite ends of the cultural spectrum.

    Liked by 1 person

    • But I already watched Aa Gale!!!! Although I was thinking of Satyam too.

      You may not be the one to ask this, but is Govinda’s sex stuff actually sexy.

      On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 2:23 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Well, that depends on what it is and what you find sexy, because he is a very specific taste and so is his work.

        If you’re talking about him physically, he was kind of generally physically beautiful before…. 1992 or 93? But he had a very strong earnest enthusiasm when he started out which puts some people off. Even when older, he has a physical presence and command of his body in movement which can be attractive even when you don’t find him physically attractive. When he seriously tries to convey a sense of intimacy or eroticism with his body, I think for most people it’s at least interesting to look at. If you find all those things repulsive, then you won’t find him attractive in the songs.

        The tone of the songs I think is another thing that really affects this. The range of his sexy songs is basically 1. earnest lithe-hipped enthusiasm 2. goofy and put upon 3. goofy and somehow earnest 4. bawdy 5. too bawdy to be sexy 6. deeply sexually aggressive tempered with goofiness.

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        • I guess I was picturing Govinda as always tending to more bawdy/comic sexy, rather than sincere sexy. But he does sincere too?

          On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 8:15 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Oh yeah, although it was more common when he was young and also, even when he’s sexy he’s still a bit too exhuberant and playful to be a big bad sex man. I think the only time he really succeeds in that is paradoxically in weird sexually aggressive comedy songs.

            There’s this kind of thing (try not to get traumatised by the er, obvious).

            And then there’s item songs that are more about objectifying his body dancing:

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  7. This list is entirely prejudiced toward movies that you have already seen, since you had to experience the sex scene to determine that is was worth this list.

    From your previous list, both Once Again and Music Teacher have sex scenes and implied sex scenes. Music teacher in particular juxtaposes sex in one relationship against lack of sex in another, as well as what what sex means for one partner versus the other partner (not in terms of gender but rather in terms of past history and future expectations). And both movies give you sex between middle aged actors.

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    • Now, what I think is that Netflix should have a little “heart” symbol or something to indicate a good sex scene, and then I wouldn’t have to wonder about the movies I haven’t seen!

      Sounds like I need to add Sillaru and Music Teacher back on, or at least consider them as part of a “let’s talk about sex in broad terms” post. I’m already excited about writing a “Mani Ratnam and Sex: What’s that Like?” post.

      On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 11:11 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  8. There is a super sexy sex scene in Rang Rasiya. The movie is bad, don’t review it, just watch the song:

    Luka Chupi – I don’t remember well but I think there must be a sex scene because they were living together.
    SRK and Rani sex scene in KANK and in Paheli

    In the South: RX100 , but it’s more “oh no, sex has ruined my life in a variety of ways” and anti-romance (btw hindi version, I’m ready and waitng to hate you)
    There is also another telugu movie with Payal Rajput RDX Love, all about sex, and I admit, I tried to watch it, but it’s too stupid.

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    • Ew, Randeep Hooda! No no no no no!

      They do have a sex scene in Luka Chuppi, and I remember it was nice, but no details which seems to imply it was a boring sex scene.

      You mean the Hindi version, brought to us by the director/screenwriter of Kick?

      On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 12:54 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Yeah I think the hindi version of RX100 will be directed by Kick guy. At first I was sure I won’t watch it but now I think I should so I can complain later. I just rewatched original songs and man how I like this film.

        Liked by 1 person

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