Valentine’s Week of Sex: Did They Do It, Yes or No? Kaho Na Pyar Hai to Ek Ladki Ko Dekha

You ready for a post that reveals us as shallow shallow people who don’t care about poetry or romance? I am!

Hindi film is delightful in its ability to skate around sexual absolutes. Couples spend the night together all the time without the filmmakers feeling the need to define exactly what happened. Fantasy songs, fade ins and fade outs, all kinds of things that leave it up to your imagination.

But forget that! I want certainty! Or at least, consensus. Or, failing consensus, a lively debate.

So just to throw some situations out there for us to consider, do we think they Did It or Not in each of these:

Kaho Na Pyar Hai, spend the night alone together on a desert island

I vote YES! They are young, they are in love, and they are really really committed post that night in a way that makes me think something happened

Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, run off together and build a house

They are “married”, they build themselves a little house, we even see them kiss. But are they smart enough to figure out where the pieces go? I say, NO!

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha, two young woman in love rolling around Delhi alone together for months

Image result for ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga regina cassandra

I vote No! They are nice shy young woman, I think they would want more privacy for their first time, and maybe marriage.

Maine Pyar Kiya, birthday party in the middle of the night on the roof

All alone with the house to themselves, on the roof, he gives her a sexy dress, does anything happen? NO! They restrain themselves and are Good.

Ghulam, just in general while dating

Do they go to Khandala? I don’t know about Rani, but I would have. YES!

Hum Aapke Hain Koun, alone late at night in a silent house

Hey, it’s Pehle Pehle Pyar! Madhuri’s in a sexy pink dress, Salman’s giving her the almond eyes, he’s suddenly stripped down to a tank top, it’s night time, everyone else is a sleep. YEP! Totally did it!

Dil To Pagal Hai, Aur Paas

Image result for dil to pagal hai gif

She came closer! I would say yes absolutely, except that after that they still have misunderstandings, so now I’m not sure. I’ll go with NO

War, before Jai Jai Shiv Shankar

Image result for jai jai shiv shankar gif

Tiger is a good boy and religious and all of that, but it’s the army and morals fade away, and Hrithik is awfully sexy. I say YES

Tamasha, Ever

Image result for tamasha deepika ranbir

Why do I bring up Tamasha just to depress us all? Anyway, I say YES in the first meeting when Deepika goes back to kiss him, but NO after that

Guddu, after the “Pappu Se Pooch” song

Oh, totally! They are in a sex cave all night! There is no other possibility. YES.

Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon, all night together on a beach

Brace yourself, I’m gonna go out on a lonely limb here. I say NO!!!! Kareena told her Mom nothing happened, it’s canon.

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, After the Gazebo Scene if Salman Hadn’t Shown Up

YES. Right? That’s the direction things were heading for sure.

Any other films you have questions on or feel would be worthy inclusions in this discussion?

10 thoughts on “Valentine’s Week of Sex: Did They Do It, Yes or No? Kaho Na Pyar Hai to Ek Ladki Ko Dekha

  1. Kaho Na Pyar Hai: Third base, not all the way, which is one reason why Amisha is in despair after he dies. She didn’t get to lose her virginity to him!

    Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak: 100% yes, no doubt about it. They were married in their own minds.

    Ek Ladki Ko Dekha: Agree that’s a no (but also a flaw in the film that you can’t imagine these women doing anything except hand holding)

    Maine Pyar Kiya: Absolutely not. Remember when Bhagyashree opens her blanket to reveal the sexy dress and Salman closes it back up again feeling a bit ashamed for making her try the dress on in the first place. That scene is super sweet.

    Ghulam: Hell yes. My working theory is whenever you see a couple together in a pouring rainstorm and it’s not a fantasy sequence, they have totally done it.

    Hum Aapke Hain Koun: Also third base. Poor young Salman wasn’t getting laid.

    War: We all know my opinion on that one.

    Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon: Hell yes. See my rain theory above.

    Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: Another affirmation of my rain theory!

    (Haven’t seen the rest)

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    • Thank goodness, somebody who treats these questions with the importance they deserve!

      KNPH: But that removes my second theory, “Amisha had to marry Hrithik 2 so the baby would look like her husband”

      QSQT: Yes, but were they smart enough???? Maybe if they got a book from a helpful librarian or something

      ELKDTAL: True. On the other hand, I could totally see Juhi and Anil getting it on.

      Maine Pyar Kiya: I suppose. But you could also argue that after the kiss through the window fade out, he changed his mind and went on in to her bedroom

      Ghulam: I have a similar theory revolving around mountain peaks in fantasy songs. Also, check out the translation for Aankhon Se Tune: https://www.filmyquotes.com/songs/1317

      HAHK: Why are you so mean to poor young Salman? On the other hand, he totally did it with Sonali in HSSH and I am sticking with that to my grave.

      War: But Tiger and Hrithik never get caught in the rain! FAILURE!

      Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon: But Kareena tells her mother nothing happened!!!!!

      KKHH: If your rain theory is strict, that means Kajol and Salman then had sex, and that seems gross

      On Thu, Feb 6, 2020 at 11:31 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Kaho Na Pyar Hai: Absolutely yes! They are two very good looking hormonal teenagers on a deserted island. Also, would anyone when they are hormonal teenagers miss the chance to have sex with Hrithik on a deserted island?!

    Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak: Yes. And completely agree with your theory. They were “married” in their eyes and playing house, which includes sex.

    Ek Ladki Ko Dekha: Nope. There was not much sexual chemistry displayed there. They mainly frolicked around and held hands.

    Maine Pyar Kiya: No. These two went back to their own beds very very frustrated and had sex dreams all night.

    Ghulam: Yes. They were both ready, willing, and active participants, who had great sex.
    Hum Aapke Hain Koun: I am 50-50 on this one. They are a bit older and comfortable with their sexuality but also just so darn chaste. Maybe some above the clothes action but I don’t think they had sex.

    Dil to Pagal Hai: Yes. Madhuri has just spoken with her dance teacher who told her to follow her heart. She pushes aside ever-present thought that feels obligated to Akshay and his family and knows he is coming back, and just takes this moment to live for herself. To me, Madhuri is in the same head space Alia is in in HSKD when she decides to have sex with Varun. However, unlike Alia and Varun, Madhuri and Shahrukh never talk after sex and hence all the awkwardness and miscommunication. Moral of the story: always talk after sex!

    War: Nope. All of that was just foreplay and leading up to the sex. Maybe some light brushes and lots of teasing. In the sequel when good Tiger is alive and they are finally reunited and they will be so overcoming with emotion that they will rip each other clothes off the minute they are alone and have sex.

    Tamasha: Ew. Yes. Also, that picture above makes me feel kind of icky.

    Guddu: Yupp. Sex cave with erotic statues always leads to sex.

    Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon: Oh HELL yes! The conversation with the mother is purposely ambiguous and Kareena could be saying she isn’t pregnant not that she didn’t have sex.

    Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: Nope. They are lost in the moment but if they had more time in the room when he sees her in the wedding outfit, they definitely would have had sex. Or maybe they even did then.

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    • KNPH: Exactly! Plus, why even give us the desert island fantasy if they aren’t going to have sex? That whole random plot cul de sac only makes sense if sex happened

      QSQT: But again I say, SO DUMB!

      ELKDTAL: Yeah, they didn’t seem like the kind who really need a lot of physical in their relationship, no problem waiting for marriage

      MPK: I’ll throw out there though that if Alok Nath hadn’t showed up at the end of the Dil Deewane reprise, totally would have gotten “married” in that temple and done it immediately

      Ghulam: Yes. And Aamir was super inventive and kind of funny about it, but also just nice and considerate.

      HAHK: If they had sex, it does make the “sure, marry my brother” plot twist a bit weirder. But then, it was already pretty weird. I think I am going to stick with my YES answer

      Dil To Pagal Hai: Okay, I had to go to Prime to research this. And of course, Prime doesn’t have subtitles because they are THE WORST, but I was able to get the jist. At 2 hours and 15 minutes, Shahrukh does the “Aur Paas”, Madhuri tries to resist, but then he kisses her neck (because he is a vampire) and she turns around and flings herself into his arms and the wind machine goes crazy. Cut to a song. Song song song, then back and they are still hugging. Madhuri breaks free and runs away, Shahrukh looks reflectively after her. Next time we see them, Madhuri is sitting in her dressing room staring into space, Shahrukh is on stage ignoring the people around him and also staring into space. Madhuri comes out, they go right into a scene together with crazy chemistry but no talking (beyond the dialogue of the play), Karisma sees them together and is shocked and hurt. Then Shahrukh goes and talks to Karisma and they acknowledge that he is clearly in love with Madhuri now, and Madhuri goes home and records her tape for Akshay about loving Shahrukh. Then Akshay shows up before she can mail the tape, and before she can talk to Shahrukh again.

      So, let’s say they hug, and while we are watching the fantasy song, they take all their clothes off, have sex on the floor of the event tent, then get dressed again and go back to hugging by the time we swing back to see them again. Madhuri runs away right after, Shahrukh is too much of a coward to follow her. They separately are in a post-sex daze which makes them unable to communicate the next time they have the chance (no reason Shahrukh couldn’t go talk to Madhuri in her dressing room before their scene), then Karisma shows up and Shahrukh is such a good friend that he puts off talking to Madhuri in order to talk to Karisma. And Madhuri works out her feelings by talking to her best Friend Akshay through the tape. And then it all goes wrong, and Madhuri and Shahrukh both know they love each other and this big unspoken thing happened, but because they never talk-talked afterwards, it is easier to just pretend it didn’t really happen and everything is still fine.

      It all tracks for me! You convinced me! Except for the whole “let’s take our clothes off and have sex in this random gross tent, and then get dressed again without talking about it”. But hey, people have weird kinks.

      War: Could this explain why Hrithik is so unhinged for most of the film? Sexual frustration leads to violence?

      Tamasha: “ew yes” is also my feeling. And that’s the best picture I could find, which tells me no one on The Internet really wants to think about them having sex either, at least not enough to pull good screenshots

      Guddu: That sex cave is so WEIRD!!!

      MPKDH: But the sand! The awkward bucket seats in the car! The weird outdoor shower! I just don’t see a good place.

      KKHH: This is now my preferred version. Shahrukh sees her in the room, they are so overcome that they have sex without talking, then he leaves and sadly wipes away a tear, and her emotions are so strained afterwards that she can’t bring herself to walk down the stairs.

      On Fri, Feb 7, 2020 at 9:30 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • And of course that’s also when the power goes out and the clocks stop at her parents’ home. The other sure sign of loss of virginity.

          Guddu (such a bad movie), cuts straight from SRK and Manisha singing in a sex cave, to SRK’s Mom’s eyes popping open as she feels a Shift in the Force.

          On Fri, Feb 7, 2020 at 11:24 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • DTPH: Agree with all of your analysis. Also, toward the very end of the song sequence when Madhuri is in the yellow outfit, they show Madhuri and SRK rolling around in the grass “kissing.” That is obviously a queue for sex. Also, it was a classy wedding with while tablecloths and they obviously used those to not get dirty.

            MPKDH: First, agree with Alisa. Also, come on, Hrithik and Kareena are literally in heat, you really think they care about sand or bucket seats?! The songs starts with Kareena undressing Hrithik. They had sex! To me, the way this song is shot, it seems like it was an adult version of the Kaho Na Pyar Hai song.

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          • Ah tablecloths! Good note! maybe even on the table? They are dancers, presumably very flexible.

            On Fri, Feb 7, 2020 at 2:22 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. Of the ones I’ve seen (again, short list):

    ELKDTAL: No. If they can’t even kiss on screen, they probably didn’t have sex until after marriage at the very least.

    War: Yes, but maybe after Jai Jai Shivshankar. Or in the middle, between the Holi party and the club. Would also explain why their shirts are basically nonexistent.

    KKHH: No. As much as Kajol wanted to in the moment, I think she respects Salman too much to betray him like that.

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    • ELKDTAL: Yeah, this seems pretty universal feeling

      War: Love this reasoning!!!! It would also explain why Hrithik is so cool dude standing on the sidelines for the second dance, he wore himself out

      KKHH: I suppose. Stupid respect and decency!

      On Wed, Feb 12, 2020 at 4:16 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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