Heer Episodes 16-18: Marriage Problems, All Over the Place

Well, this show does not want me to get married! We’ve got three married couples now, and they are all miserable. I assume they will be happy some way or the other by the end of things, but right now they are miserable. (full index of Heer reviews here)

Nice Co-worker! NOOOO! Why are you now a jerk?!?!? Grumpy Daughter and Nice co-worker, when last scene, were having pleasant normal new married fights. She moved his socks to make space for her scarves, he didn’t like it, they talked about it and then went out for dinner. But in these episodes, it quickly escalates. He drops her off to visit her parents and is a little abrupt, she asks on the way home why he didn’t stop in longer, he says he doesn’t like the way her parents have so many luxuries when there is so much deprivation, it makes him uncomfortable. Okay, fair enough, it’s a legitimate issue with a couples who marry across big economic differences. There is more back and forth about her visiting her parents, and then he really crosses the line when she talks through all of this with their old mutual friend at the hospital and he gets angry with her for sharing their marriage business with this outsider TO THE POINT OF TELLING HER NOT TO TALK TO THE FRIEND ANY MORE!!!!!

Heer Episode, Heer Drama Cast, Heer Schedule, Heer OST

Now, in a Hindi movie, obviously he would be right, because he is the husband and husbands are incapable of being wrong. But this is Pakistani TV where gender rules are wildly flauted and people often even get divorced (woo-hoo!). And the way it is set up, it is a slow building “evil evil!” kind of story. This isn’t marriage sorting itself out thing, this is “Nice Co-Worker is Secretly The Devil” thing.

I have a big problem with this storyline. Not that nice co-worker isn’t nice after all, because that’s the point, someone who is totally nice before marriage can slowly turn Not Nice after marriage. Or love marriages failing, that’s okay too, it’s good to see a love marriage failing because it fails in a different way from an arranged marriage. No, obviously the biggest problem is SELF PITY DAD WAS RIGHT!!!!! I hate Self Pity Dad and I don’t want him to be right about anything ever, especially not this marriage where he was the only person standing against it.

Speaking of Self Pity Dad, his awesome wife Seemi is finally standing up to him, in her own way. With the encouragement of the Grandmas, she has left her home and moved in with her mother. Same thing Self Pity Dad liked to do, just fly off to Dubai in the middle of their arguments. Same old argument again, Self Pity Dad is trying to guilt her into coming to Dubai with him, and she feels bad about leaving Grandma. So (following her mother’s idea), she just packs up and leaves the house and lets everyone else figure it out while she is gone. It’s a better marriage than Grumpy Daughter has right now, but not great.

Yash Raichand (Amitabh Bachchan) Nandini... - Kabhi khushi kabhi ...
Also not as bad as Amitji and Jaya in K3G, the gold standard for passive aggressive unhealthy middle-aged marriages.

And then we have Hot Asad and Naureen, in their Bad Idea Marriage. Naureen is now routinely going over to her parents’ grave to yell at them, and has made herself sick with fever and is refusing to see the doctor. She has also decide that all of this is Hot Asad’s fault. Which isn’t how he sees it, but I kind of agree with her. Hot Asad was awfully dumb to rush into this marriage instead of trying to find literally Any Other Solution. I guess where Naureen is wrong is thinking that Asad is somehow happy, or at least, not bothered about the marriage. He is just as miserable as she is, but is no longer a teenager, so has lost that amazing irritating brat ability to make everyone else miserable too. It culminates in Naureen picking up the phone when Heer calls, revealing that she isn’t just engaged but married, and not married to Estranged Cousin. Naureen is all set to be a teenager and nastily reveal she has married Hot Asad, when he shows up behind her and takes the phone and hangs up. But that’s still enough for Heer to start going “huh. What’s up with all that?” and start a plan to visit the village.

Final married couple, Uncle and Evil Aunt! Uncle catches Evil Aunt with her hidden jewelry, takes it from her, and sells it to pay off their debt so that Peji no longer has anything to threaten them with. This couple! Both, SO DUMB! Evil Aunt is of course evil, in a way that comes from her inability to think through situations. She encouraged Uncle to get a loan from Peji (obviously bad idea), then decided they should fear and obey Peji instead of looking for any other solution (borrowing money somewhere else to pay him back, or just standing up to him), and this whole time she has been holding on to her jewelry. I understand that the jewelry is a gesture of power and freedom and all that, but what is she saving it FOR??? There isn’t anyone in her life she likes enough to want to hand it down to, and she is terrified Peji will kill them, and yet she is still locked into the mindset that she has to hold on to her jewels no matter what comes. Just sell them! This is the rainy day you are holding them for! Uncle of course immediately takes and sells them and then pays back Peji, and Evil Aunt just resents him (and Heer) even more because he has done it.

On the other hand, our unmarried couples are doing delightfully well. Madiha encourages Self-Pity Uncle to try to make up with Hot Yasir because Hot Yasir is a good guy, which results in Self-Pity Uncle giving Hot Yasir a car, which results in lots of nice intimate car conversations between Hot Yasir and Madiha. And Hot Yasir is beginning to really understand her and listen to her, he goes along with her idea to just lock Grandma and Self Pity Dad alone in the house together until they start talking. And when the family is talking about Madiha, he (correctly) says that if you tell her not to do a thing, she will never do it again, it’s easy to understand and predict her. Madiha is softening quit a bit too, she happily talks about that dinner out he took her for and how it was so much fun (more fun than being with Hot Asad, Madiha? hmm?), and when they are driving around together, she chatters away about how bikes are better than cars because you can sit with your hand on the person in front of you. My my Madiha! Where is your mind going? Anyway, it culminates in Hot Yasir admitting on the phone to Bland Woman that he has feelings for Madiha.

This conversation of course made me start thinking of this song

Oh! Even Bland Woman and Hot Yasir are doing well! In a new way. Bland Woman has realized he is just not that into her (following the whole “stand me up on my birthday” thing) and peacefully undramatically moved on and decided to go to the University of Dallas. I have a friend who went there by the way, and you can now get almost your entire degree online. She did the last 3 years from Chicago. And not “now” like within the past few months, but “now” like within the past few years. So she doesn’t actually have to go to Dallas! Perhaps this is all a scam? She is going to pretend to leave town, but really sit alone in her room and do classes online? Anyhoo, it’s a very healthy reaction, far better than her anger and yelling over things. So she is off to Dallas (or her bedroom) and she and Yasir are ending as good friends.

So, these three episodes, tell us to never get married and just be friends with the opposite sex.

Things I liked, Bland Woman being redeemed in a very undramatic and bland kind of way by just maturely leaving. Grandma and Self Pity Dad finally talking to each other. Grumpy Daughter’s hospital friend immediately saying “your husband can’t tell you not to have friends! That’s bonkers!”.

Things I didn’t like, Self Pity Dad’s self pitying may actually work and his mother will give in to him and sell the house. Self Pity Dad buys his son’s love with a car which seems like a TERRIBLE lesson. Hot Asad continues to fail to get his s—- together, talk to his new wife, and tell his girlfriend he isn’t marrying her.

Things I loved, Madiha and Hot Yasir falling in love by talking about stuff and being good listeners and understanding each other. The Grandmas conspiring to fix Self-Pity Dad and Seemi’s marriage. The Grandmas sniping at each other about their skincare regimes.

2 thoughts on “Heer Episodes 16-18: Marriage Problems, All Over the Place

  1. Things I love: the Grandmas. The car conversations. Self Pity Dad & Grandma finally talk to each other scene. Co-worker husband loosing it.

    Now I don’t think co-worker husband is evil, I think he grew up in an orphanage and has NO IDEA how to be a husband or part of a family. He liked her, and now that she doesn’t do everything he says and she still wants to be connected to her family she must not love him (in his mind). Also, he doesn’t know what to do, his fantasy of married life doesn’t live up to the reality. So he walks around stone faced and dogmatic. He isn’t evil, he is lost. Growing up in an orphanage is tough, he has achieved so much despite the odds, but he can’t necessarily achieve a family. So I find their story-line fascinating!

    I have not seen the other episodes or read your future episode reviews yet, and I CAN’T wait for Hot Yasir to take her to the villiage and be the shoulder for her to cry on. But I have to go make dinner, and life always interferes. I will only get to watch if I get insomnia again tonight. Go insomnia go!

    Like

    • There are so much good conversations in these episodes! Grumpy Sister and co-worker fighting through marriage, their friend being helpful. Hot Yasir and Madiha in the car having private chats about family problems. Grandma yelling at Self Pity Dad to stop being his name.

      On Wed, May 6, 2020 at 7:32 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

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