IMPORTANT RULE: on this post, you CANNOT discuss anything related to Sushant Singh Rajput’s death. I will edit any comment that includes details related to that tragedy. That is still in process, there are no clear answers to anything, it is not a valid example in a debate. But you can talk about absolutely anything else, including personal experiences. Suicide is a good thing for people to talk about, I think. It removes the shame from it, and some of the power.
I am going to start by giving two personal examples from my own life. I want to say that I am very distantly connected to these examples and I have no real right to share them. But I hope that we will have a healthy loving discussion space here and therefore honor these deaths and make it okay for me to share them.
The grown daughter of a friend of my mother’s killed herself after years of struggle with depression. She had just had lunch with her mother that day, and seemed happy. Her mother had no idea anything was wrong and made no particular effort to check on her or make sure she was safe and happy.
The teenage son of a co-worker of my father killed himself, after he missed a shot in a game and his high school basketball coach had yelled at and humiliated him in front of his teammates, the coach had already had several complaints filed against him for similar inappropriate behavior towards his students.
When someone takes their own life, there is an immediate painful sense of guilt that ripples out to all who knew them.
Is there any benefit in investigating and trying to narrow that guilt down to certain parties at fault?
Or does a quest for blame just magnify the pain?
Is there truly ever any blame to find, or is it just the decision of the person who took their own life?
Or is it case by case whether there is blame to be found, and if so, who has the right to make that decision? The State, the Family, the Doctors, who?
In the two examples I give above, I feel that the first one would just be ripping up needless pain to try to look for an answer. While I feel like the second one would have had some kind of benefit to trying to find an answer. But why do I feel like that? What is the difference between the two? I honestly don’t know.
I don’t think a random internet site is going to come up with the answers to these big questions, but I think there is a benefit in all of us thinking about these questions and listening with respect and love to each other’s thoughts.