Good morning! I have walked the dog, made coffee, and I am all ready to be soothed by beautiful Goa and beautiful SRK.
Yaaaaaay, Shahrukh movie!!!! He’s wise and kind and encouraging, and the rest of the movie is nice too.
At 7:30am, I will put up a comment “And PLAY!” and you hit play and then we all comment along together.
dontcallitbollywood 
This is the real tragedy–losing that cute apartment.
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Sure Alia, build your entire identity and happiness around one job that is in the control of the dude who you slept with while dating someone else. That’s not going to go bad at all!
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Fatty! Of all the terrible things Kunal has done, making the poor pregnant lady break this news is right up there with the worst of them.
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The people in her life need to learn not to give bad news in public places. Or rooftops…
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When I was little and used to get upset like this, my Mom would wrap me up in a blanket and hold me tight on her lap. I feel like Alia really REALLY needs that right now. Just stop and breath!
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Burrito wrap. We roll the kids up in a blanket and roll them around on the floor, the contact helps ground them.
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Your parents were clearly better at handling a person with many emotions than mine was
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She rejected him CLEARLY in the nightclub. She never called him. His engagement is shocking, but he had every right to leave her, as he was never with her.
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But did he have the right to make Fatty tell her?
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If they weren’t together why should he tell her at all!? Not saying I approve of his behavior, but he isn’t being more immature than she is. And he’s about to get married. NO ONE SHOULD MARRY BEFORE 30!
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I don’t think the movie makes him out to be a bad guy. He’s kind of a himbo, but that’s fine. He’s not right for her though, IMO.
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himbo! perfect.
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Alia needs a hug BADLY
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I totally identify with this scene. A man once broke up with me for a girl with whose last name was also a common brand name and smashing a bottle in the store was a vivid fantasy for a bit.
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Isn’t it nice that now we are all in lockdown and we don’t have to have awkward social meetings with people we don’t know?
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Silver linings everywhere.
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Y’all, my friend Sowbhagya is watching along too and reading comments. Her first time watching Dear Zindagi and her first Shah Rukh movie. She and I bonded over our mutual love for Vijay Sethupathi. 🙂
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Yaaaaaay! I love new people!!!!!
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Thank you!
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THE PHONE. She is never with the people in front of her because of that damn phone.
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Because she is running from her emotions and it is a symptom of her disfunction! And also, YOUNG PEOPLE. Also, you realize when I am with people I do this because I am constantly checking for and replying to comments from you nice blog folks?
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You should confine your blog to certain hours of the day, and be with the people you are with. I can wait a day to read your educated and wittty responses.
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I am getting a lot better! There’s a lot of comments after 5pm that don’t get responded to until the next morning.
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I would wear all the clothes in this film, including her mom’s.
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I’m shaped like her mom–would love her mom’s clothes!
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I like her mom’s hair 🙂
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I am so glad I’ve never had this conversation, but that marriage and children conversation is something I hate with every fibre of my being
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I was just thinking that, actually what I was thinking was “I am so glad I am American where this kind of conversation is a little bit more forbidden”
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I phrased that wrong. The “Are you a lesbian” is something I’ve never had, thankfully. But the “Wedding and children” one is the one I’ve had and I LOATHE IT
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I want paneer.
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Sorry if I got a bit personal with some comments. This film just hits home hard with me for so MANY reasons.
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Go as personal as you want, it’s that kind of film.
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Thank you, Margaret 🙂
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Not at all–like Margaret said–it’s a personal film. I’ve already blubbed twice!
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🙂
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I suspect this film is personal to so many people. I so understand her aingst. I was there and it took A LOT to get through it. Youth, the thing the worlds desires, is also so hard.
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The food thing with her Mom is so real, and so COMPLICATED.
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Did she just text the guy she cheated on that she missed him? Badly done, Alia!
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Yes she did! She is in a terrible TERRIBLE place.
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Ok, which is the best house we see in Goa? I kind of love Jackie’s.
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I definitely love Jackie’s for me. But if I had a different kind of life (like, if I were married to SRK), I would prefer Shahrukh’s.
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I want the one closest to the beach!
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So, her Mom and she go back and forth in a painfully real way over food, her Dad and her go back and forth about career. UNIVERSAL TRUTHS!!!!
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There’s the voice!
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Haha, I forgot about the complicated answers setting up Shah Rukh’s perfect (oversimplified) answer. Lol.
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SHAHRUKH!!! My movie therapist!!
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Yay! My movie therapist, friend, boyfriend, career advisor, etc. 🙂
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He nice being everything to everyone : )
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This is such a good monologue film for Shahrukh. I love his monologue.
Also, he is a cool dude who wears torn jeans to give a talk because he doesn’t care, but his hair must have taken a good 2 hour sto get that perfect. NOT REALISTIC.
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Back to Genevieve’s comment about half tucked in shirts. So much effort to look effortless!
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SRK is so cute.
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This is the best kind of therapy room I’ve seen in a film.
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All the little things around the room and the many chairs and pillows and stuff is totally therauputic, right? He wants to give people stuff to play with so they feel better while talking?
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YES!! A single sofa or chair and overt neatness is a KILLER for flowing comfortable conversation about one’s personal life
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I don’t know if the bookshelf is a good idea, I’d search them for clues to his personality and tastes, so much easier to focus on others.
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In my memory SRK didn’t show up till the end of the movie, and while it was 45 minutes in, I realize that A LOT happened in that first 45 minutes.
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That’s what I love about this movie! We are dropped right into Alia’s breakdown instead of building to it, the point isn’t her breakdown, it iis that she finally goes to therapy in response.
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Poor Alia is so close to crying. She just needs to let the tears go and just be hugged while she does it
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One of the many things I like about how this film handles therapy, is that there is no big mystery to Alia, it’s not like Shahrukh has to work hard to understand her. The point is for her to get to the right place. He knows everything about her by this point. Something is weird about Goa, she is having young people identity issues, probably parents. Nothing super weird or exciting, but the key is to get her to the right place on her own.
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Okay, througout this film I NEVER feel SRK is interested in Alia as more than a patient. So if you see something that says otherwise, POINT IT OUT, please.
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Would you say “he is interested in her as a patient, but also he seems like someone who has a very limited patient list so he really really cares about each person he treats in an appropriate doctor-patient way”?
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I mostly agree. His style of therapy is informal, funny, and caring, and she misinterprets, plus the natural transference that happens in therapy. I think she gets to him by the end of the film, but just a bit, and nothing that he can’t handle as a professional.
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This initial therapy lesson is SO IMPORTANT for young people!!!!! Do you know how many times I have thought “I should do this thing I really really don’t want to do because it is good for me and good for my future”? And how few times I have actually been glad I did it instead of thinking “why did I make myself miserable?”
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Not just young people! It’s ok to just say–this hard path isn’t for me right now. Have had to relearn that a couple of times.
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Now I’m remembering, my 70 year old mother just had to spend 2 days getting to the point of saying “no” to a volunteer thing the church asked her to do. It’s so easy to think “if it is hard, that means it is more worthwhile”.
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There is so much humidity in Goa, why does he need eye drops?
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😄
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Kunal you absolute mansplainer!!!
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The height difference between Kunal and Alia is totally being used on purpose in this scene. Also, maybe Kunal didn’t do anything wrong until now, but right now I HATE him!!!!! “we need mature people on this film”
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Someone yells get out and you sit back down. UGH!
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And then you aggressively keep calm and “reasonable” while they are yelling. Total gaslighting evil icky behavior.
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Okay, Genevieve, our Kunal apologist, was he in the right in that scene?
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No. He knew what was wrong. I can’t believe he bothered to actually talk to her though. He could have said if she didn’t show up for a meeting somewhere he would find someone else. So maybe the fact that he showed up at all means he isn’t a complete jerk, but well, he handled it BADLY.
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I think, just possibly, a relationship that starts with having sex while cheating on a serious boyfriend, is never going to work out or show the best sides of the people involved. Call me crazy!!!!
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In other news I want her pants!
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YES! She has so many great loungey knitwear clothes in this movie.
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And one’s that can be easily found as well!
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HA! Jackie totally gave Alia the hug we all wanted her to have!
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SUCH A GOOD FRIEND! what a hug
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Finally someone gives Kaira a big hug!
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Her Mom wants to do it but isn’t sure she is allowed so keeps offering food instead. Been there! On the food reciever side!
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How come in the movies people are always wearing evening dresses in their dreams?
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I never thought about that, but you are completely right. I think last time I had a vivid dream like this, I imagined myself in sweatpants.
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I also remember that when I was young embarrassement was SUCH a big fear.
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Kunal is the DEFINITION of tall and handsome.
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THE FREAKING POSTER CHILD FOR IT!
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This dress on Alia is too short and I think doesn’t fit with her character. Only costuming miss-step so far.
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She might be miss-stepping because of her moods. I mean, the dress is yellow, like the dress in her dream was
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OR, she’s wearing the short dress because she’s already attracted to Jug, but conflicted about it, so wears the baggy plaid shirt.
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She doesn’t know herself, so every now and then she buys something that isn’t really her. She tries to make it work, but well, it’s too short.
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Shahrukh’s butt looks good in these pants.
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I love SRK, but he has a flat butt. His butt is not his strength. And if the pants make it look good, it is the pants. But then maybe I’m wrong, Maybe everyone should keep looking just to be sure.
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I will do my best. Also, the idea of him moving around the room half bent and sitting in a variety of chairs, is very good butt set up.
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I LOVE THIS PART!
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My impression of Alia’s character, and I think this is what Gauri intended to show from what we saw, is that she actually isn’t that experienced in her relationships. The way she got all tied up over Kunal makes me think that it was really unusual for her to have a flirt/sex relationship instead of a slow dating serious relationship. She feels super “dirty” because the Kunal situation was new to her.
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You want your therapist to be your friend, but you are paying him. 20 second time limit to the conversation, it’s hard.
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This homework assignment, the ten minutes, that was SRK getting a baseline on just HOW bad her parent relationship is. He knows it is bad, but how bad?
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Perfect counselor having sessions on the beach.
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It is a beautiful beach, India is a country with a lot of people. WHERE IS EVERY ONE?!
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Maybe it is his private beach?
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First time I saw this movie, I was SURE she was a sexual abuse survivor. And then so glad that she wasn’t.
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True. This movie is much braver in a way, just like English Vinglish was. Sometimes family hurts you the most, even when they’re trying their best.
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