Is this tacky? Eh, don’t care, they’re public people, and I’m just using the public knowledge aspects of their lives. Plus it’s my highly fictionalized and changed version. And I really wanna see Shahrukh do something complex and this would be fun!

We will need CGI for young Shahrukh, ugh. But it will still be worth it!

Charles and Camilla Played by Shahrukh and Kajol

Young Shahrukh and Young Kajol meet on the Polo field. He is a Prince, she is smart and fun and fairly wealthy but not royal. They fall in love. His family (mother is obviously played by Waheedaji) is against the relationship, he rushes in the rain to Kajol and tells her he is ready to go against everything and marry her. She says “eh, not so much”. She loves him, but she can’t spend her life being hated like the woman who married his great-uncle (Wallis Simpson/played by Rekha). She is ready to give up and go away like everyone wants. Young Shahrukh lets his mouth wobble and eyebrows go crooked, but agrees. Sad song, Kajol marries Saif while Shahrukh watches.

Jump ahead 10 years! Shahrukh is now actively and responsibly helping to run the family business. At a party where all the “appropriate” young woman are throwing themselves at him, he goes to hide in the kitchen and bumps into Kajol who is ALSO hiding! She is separated from Saif after 10 years and 2 children, left him in America and is trying to pick up her life in India again. She is exhausted talking to all these people. She and Shahrukh start talking just as a safe place, even though they are very different people now. She is no longer a wild tomboy but instead a calm sophisticated woman and single mother. He is no longer the emotional young prince, but instead the responsible ruler and right hand of his mother. Over walks and talks and tea together, they slowly fall back in love. Finally Shahrukh casually drops into the middle of a conversation “I’m in love with you again”. And Kajol responds by calmly giving her rules for a relationship. She is married, she is not going to divorce the father of her husband even if she isn’t living with him. She doesn’t want to be his public partner, she doesn’t want to deal with his family, she has to put her children first. But if he can be happy with this half life together, she loves him too.

Happy love song! Sex and love and small social events where they get to act like a couple in front of old friends. Until one day Waheedaji calls him in to her office and puts the hammer down. It is time for him to get married. And this time, if he says “no”, she is cutting him off from the family business. If he isn’t ready to be an adult in his personal life, he doesn’t get to be an adult in the family business. She has picked a girl for him, he has 24 hours to decide. Shahrukh goes rushing to Kajol and passionately declares his undying love for her. And she calmly says “I think you should get married”. Shahrukh is horrified, but Kajol explains that she loves him and wants him to be happy, and he needs that responsibility and power to be happy. He can live without her, but not without his responsibilities. Get married, try to make it work, forget her.

Shahrukh sadly goes through with the marriage to shy young Alia Bhatt. The whole thing is tragic. She is scared and eager at the first meeting, while Shahrukh is bored and keeps picturing Kajol. At the wedding, he is still picturing Kajol everywhere. We get a montage song showing Alia trying and trying, having babies, being loving, and then finally pulling away, leaving Shahrukh at home while she goes out and does things alone, posing for the press by herself, dressing more confidently and adultly, their two lives pulling ever farther apart. And then one day while Shahrukh is sitting alone in his office, watching news coverage of “beloved” Alia at a hospital, he calls Kajol and leaves her a message, just, “missing you, feeling lonely.” Kajol, alone in her apartment, listens to the message again and again and silently cries.

Kajol meets with Saif and his new wife Kareena for lunch. They are very sophisticated, talk about the children, all friendly. Then when Kareena leaves the table, Saif tells Kajol that she deserves to be happy too. He knows, he’s always known about Shahrukh. Kajol says “it’s impossible”, Saif tells her “happiness is never impossible”. Kajol goes home, picks up the phone, sets it down, picks it up again, and finally dials.

Passionate song! Kajol and Shahrukh are crazier than ever. So crazy that the media catches them and photos are published, they just laugh at them together while Waheedaji responds with a sigh, and Alia with one small tear before hugging her children and then going off to another activity. Finally, Waheedaji calls Shahrukh in for another meeting. But this time, Alia comes in after him. Waheedaji is surprised, and Shahrukh says “this involves her as well, we have something to tell you. We have decided to get a divorce.” Waheedaji asks “is this about Kajol?” and Alia speaks up, “No, it is about us. We deserve to be happy, we deserve to be free, it’s the 20th century and it’s time your family stops living in the past.”

Final jump ahead, 5 years in the future, Shahrukh and Kajol are finally getting married. Waheedaji is there reluctantly smiling, so are Shahrukh’s sons. Final shot is of the two of them smiling at each other, with a over line of “True Love Waits”.

I think that’s nice! And no, this is not the “true” story, I know the whole messy thing is super complicated. But I like the story of Charles and Camilla taking decades to finally find their way to each other, and I’m gonna take just the bits I like and make a nice movie.