HAPPY SHAHRUKH DAY! I have to either buy or make a cake and, hopefully, friends will be coming over to eat it tonight! Saturday’s are tricky, especially since a lot of my friends are performers.

I’ve been having a bit of a rocky week. It’s been overcast which triggers my seasonal affective disorder and generally makes me feel yucky. Plus election stress is ticking up and up. I’ve been doing a lot of sitting in front of sunlamps wrapped in blankets hugging Albie Dog (he is sooooooooooooooooooooo patient). And I had some disturbing family news that I’m still chewing over in my brain, and I’m still unemployed which gives me an unhealthy amount of time to sit and think.

But then there’s Shahrukh Day. Nice, stable, reliable, a firm spot on my calendar. I invited people over weeks ago, and I’m glad a did, it’s a settled bright spot. And he is a settled bright spot. And a settled focus spot too.

(Not from this year, apparently he is sleeping in this year)

Fandom involves lists. And Memorizing. And Knowing Things. It’s not a super important part of fandom, but it’s a fun way to build the community, talking this stuff over. It’s also a fun way to, on your own, focus yourself into this one particular part of your life. I’ve discovered that, when the anxiety takes over, SRK listing calms me down. If I can sit and recite his top box office hits in order, or his first 5 costars, or his best songs, it lets me focus on something that makes me happy.

November 2 makes me happy. The day itself, knowing I am part of a worldwide celebration, but also knowing that I have memorized that date as a firm rock in the swirl of my mind. Shahrukh Day is November 2, Amitabh Day is October 10th, Christmas is December 25th, time has landmarks and sense to it and focus to it.

When the world feels chaotic and impossible, I can close my eyes and retreat into Shahrukh World, a world of sense and stability that has been with me for 20 years and will always be with me.