2015 in quantities: What movies did I watch most?

Everyone in the world is doing “Best of 2015” lists right now.  And I get that, it makes sense.  But I am incapable of choosing “Bests”!  I love all my little movies equally!  But what I can do, is remember which movies I watched most in 2015, as it is a quantifiable rather than qualitative decision.  So let me count down, 10 to 0.

Top repeat of 2015, at 5 times in theaters and 5 times on DVD/blu-ray, is Bahubaali.  It’s just the best!  That isn’t an informed judgement, by the way, it is an irrepressible exclamation.  I love Bahubaali, but I love even more how it makes me feel.  It’s one of those movies that you finish, and the high wears off, and then immediately you have to go back and watch again, and then again, and again, and again.  And then you start to listen to the soundtrack all the time, and send long emails and have lengthy phone calls with people debating every detail of it.  And then you make this your computer wallpaper.

And then you start to think “maybe I just call in sick to work, because I can’t focus on anything else until I see it just one more time, and that’s a kind of sickness.”  And suddenly you realize that Bahubaali has taken over your life, and maybe you finally understand heroin addicts, and also you have to stop cold turkey no matter how much it hurts, because this is going down a dangerous path.  And then you are mildly depressed for a few months, but eventually Dilwale comes out and you get over it.

Next to Baahubali, a distant second, I saw Bombay Velvet four times in theaters and 2 times on DVD.  I think I am maybe the only person in the world who can say that.  While Baahubali makes you feel ALIVE  and like you can do anything and the world is perfect and maybe I should just put in my blu-ray right now, what could it hurt, I will still be able to turn it off after just a few minutes and get a good night’s sleep before my meeting tomorrow morning….NO!  I just got that monkey off my back, I’m not giving in again!

Anyway, Bombay Velvet.  It just makes you feel like you want to die.  Like, now, before you have to watch another minute of it.  And when it is over, the after effects start, the headaches, the random flashbacks, the horror that never leaves.  I thought, if I just kept watching it, eventually I would understand it and be able to get past it.  But, no.  It’s worse with every viewing.  I even wrote a review and gave a conference talk on it, trying to work through the after effects, but no luck!  I think I may need to ceremonially burn my DVD.

Gabbar is Back, 4 times in theaters and once on Eros Now.  But that wasn’t on purpose!  I had just gotten a car, and was super excited about driving people over to the Indian theater, and that was all that was playing.  It’s not the best, but also not the worst movie.  So long as Shruti Haasan isn’t saying dialogue, it is basically painless.  And when Akshay is in the middle of a fight scene, it is actually enjoyable!  And then I saw it again on Eros Now, because it was there and I hadn’t gotten my money’s worth from my subscription.

Bajrangi Bhaijaan, twice in theaters and twice on DVD.  Now, this is a nice, regular, solid, good movie.  It’s not as dangerous as Bahubaali, but it is loveable.  More like really good chocolate cake than heroin.  You always enjoy it, sometimes you get a real hankering for it, but it will never take over your life.  I’m actually really pleased with Bajrangi as the Movie of 2015, which is how twitter and various news outlets are heralding it.  It has a sweet message, it is well put together, competently acted, and that little girl is so cute I just want to eat her up!

Dil Dhadakne Do, three times in theaters, never bought the DVD.  I only wanted to see it once, and then I was basically done.  But I was still new to my car, and I offered to drive friends to the Indian movie theater, and they forced me to see it again.  Twice.  I tried to put the forced re-watches to use and wrote another review.  But I didn’t really want to.  I hate Priyanka (just in generally, but also in this specifically I think she was miss-cast), and I have little sympathy for this new trend of “Oh the tragedy of the poor rich uppercaste Hindu man!”  See also, my thoughts on Tamasha.

Maghadheera, twice on DVD.  I was trying to use it as my nicotine patch for Bahubaali.  Not as good, but probably healthier for me.  Plus, it had my favorite Item Girl in it.  And one truly amazing sequence combined with a nice social message, so it was all good.

Humari Adhuri Kahaani, once in theaters.  When you say to the ticket person, “I don’t remember the title, just give me a ticket for the bad movie,”  you sort of know what you are going in to.  It is not a good film.  On any level.  Emraan doesn’t even have a kissing scene.  But it’s not an “oh my God, when will death come to save me!” kind of film.  And I still feel affectionate for Emraan and Vidya.  After all, everyone needs a paycheck.

And Bajirao Mastani, 0 times.  At least in 2015.  Now that it is 2016, I’m probably going to finally get around to it sometime this weekend, possibly buying a ticket for Dilwale and then sneaking in.  So I am starting the year with petty spite against non-Shahrukh films.  Welcome to 2016!



17 thoughts on “2015 in quantities: What movies did I watch most?

  1. You left Dilwale off the list! And that was four times. Laughing about Baahubali and heroin. That makes me your pusher drug dealer, I guess! I have heard the $2.49 YouTube Telugu rental now has subs. I’ve been resisting, but it’s calling to me!


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  9. I just randomly found this post and I have a lot to say. You should’ve done something similar for 2016 along with our awards because this was a lot of fun to read 🙂

    No wonder you don’t like Shruti Haasan! You saw Gabbar is Back a total of FIVE times?!?

    It’s really interesting that you hate Priyanka. Honestly, I’ve never seen you say that you hate any actor or actress so it’s a bit surprising. So why do you hate her?

    LOL at buying a Dilwale ticket to sneak into Bajirao Mastani 🙂
    So did you actually do that when you went to see Bajirao? And how many times did you end up watching Dilwale?


    • I think I saw Dilwale 6 times in theaters in the end! And I didn’t buy a ticket for Dilwale when I went to see Bajirao, because the ticket machines were broken, so I didn’t actually buy a ticket for anything. Very frustrating experience, I was running late and had to go back and forth to the counter trying to get them to fix it, and then they just let me in for free.

      I have learned not to “hate” anyone! At least, not obviously. You know I have a hard time with Shruti Haasan and Kamal Haasan and Shraddha Kapoor and various others. But when I post something specifically complaining about a movie or a movie star, everyone gets upset with me. This post was back in the early happy days when no one was reading the blog, so I could be a bit nastier. Now I have to be more neutral and balanced and oatmeal like. Or else I have to give up most of the comments section to unhappy readers who just want to berate me, and I don’t want to do that!

      On Sun, Apr 23, 2017 at 11:39 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



      • Wow, I could barely handle it once in theater. My biggest problem with Dilwale was that it was WAY too predictable. At least you didn’t have to pay to see Bajirao. As much as I disliked Dilwale, I liked Bajirao less. I remember a couple of your Bajirao posts. Those were fun, I should read them again 🙂

        But why don’t you like Priyanka? I don’t really care about her, so don’t worry that I’ll get offended. But yeah, I do get why you’d want to be neutral. Especially now that you have so many different commenters, it’s probably easier to try to keep everyone happy.


        • I have two issues with Priyanka, I don’t like the way she changes the way she presents herself so completely depending on the audience. You know, the way she behaves so differently in interviews with American shows versus Indian? It’s not as egregious as when Aish did her “virginal exotic Indian” tour of American talk shows at the same time the Salman scandal was breaking in India, but it has the same feeling to me. It’s supporting regressive views of Indian womanhood by denying the real issues that face women in India, and that face women of Indian descent in America.

          And I really don’t like the way the SRK affair rumors were handled. Whether or not they were true, it certainly seems like any support for them must have come from Priyanka’s camp, and that is just nasty.

          And with Dilwale, watch 2 and 3 were the best. I knew the scenes where I could go to the bathroom or just start thinking about what to make for dinner, because they didn’t matter, and then pay attention for the other scenes. Watch 4, 5, and 6 had a decreasing rate of return as even the good parts were beginning to be a bit too well remembered. But it was a Shahrukh movie, which meant everyone I knew wanted to see it, so I had to do a bit of a shuttle service in my car back and forth and back and forth.


          • I get what you mean about Priyanka being different based on where she is. It can get annoying at times.

            Watching Dilwale so many times in such a short time span probably did not do you any good 🙂 I really didn’t like it the first time and then I saw it again after like 3 or 4 months and I surprisingly liked it a bit more.


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