I’m mourning today, like can’t stop crying, can’t find anything good in the world mourning. I was trying to think of the last time I felt like this, I think it was when my grandmother was dying, my grandfather had just died, my father was worried about losing his job, and my mother was recovering from major surgery (yes these things all happened at the same time). That was years ago, and the small piece of comfort I have today is that at least I have something that does bring me spiritual comfort, which I didn’t have then.
Back years and years ago, the last time I felt like this, I remember trying to read the Bible, or Shakespeare, or something, to try to bring me some sense of peace, like I’d seen other people get from these things. Or walking in nature or listening to classical music. That’s supposed to bring you comfort, right? And it just didn’t work for me.
But then a few years back when I was going through some other tough times (my other grandmother died, I lost my job, thank goodness not at the same time this time, separated by a few years, but they were both bad), I didn’t even think about it, I knew what I could do to remind myself that God still exists and there is something warm and good in the universe.
I’m not saying film songs are the most spiritual and beautiful things in the world, I’m just saying that is what they are for me. Maybe they will be for you, if so here they are. And if they aren’t that for you, and you are in a similar state to me right now, I hope you find something else that works, no matter what it is, and don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed about it (like I used to about turning to DVDs for comfort instead of “respectable” art).
(Fred was probably feeling about the same as me in this dance. His wife was dying of cancer, and the country was in the middle of WWII)