Earlier today, Claudia in the comments of my Silly Sunday post requested a mature Shahrukh-Kajol love story. And then I sat down to watch my weekly Malayalam film, Bhaskar the Rascal, and BOOM! That’s the romance!!! It’s PERFECT!!! And so I am about to spoil an entire film, just so you can see how right I am.
This is a really sweet nice film, if you are a person who ever watches Malayalam films/likes Mammootty/likes adorable children, you should just watch the original. But if you don’t have access to Malayalam films/hate Mammootty/are completely SRK obsessed and just want me to talk about him, then you can read this instead and join me in saying “Red Chillies! BUY THIS SCRIPT!!!!”
You ready for the Best Shahrukh Kajol Plot Possible?
Shahrukh is a tough talking unmannerly type who has made millions in building. He is introduced during his son’s karate class at his fancy private school, when he interrupts the teacher to show him how you fight in “the real world”. Conveniently, a bunch of gundas are chasing his gundas, and he tells them to lead the gang to the school, so he can beat them up and teach the kids a lesson at the same time. He calmly kicks and punches and throws all the bad guys, while reciting a lesson on how you should always warn your opponent 3 times, but once you have to fight, don’t hold back.
Shahrukh’s son is super embarrassed by this whole thing, but his female best friend loves it and is super impressed. Meanwhile, Shahrukh and Kajol have met for the first time when he asks to borrow her cell phone, then abuses someone over the phone while she listens, and when she criticizes his language on school grounds, he tells her it is none of her business. Kajol is a classy lady, nice sari, good English, the whole deal. The opposite of rough tough Shahrukh.
That night Shahrukh’s son complains to his grandfather about Shahrukh and his grandfather sets him straight. His grandparents had lost everything, were about to kill themselves in shame as their debtors beat down the door, when Shahrukh showed up. Be talked back to the debtors, convinced them to wait, and then dropped out of school and went to work to slowly build up a fortune, pay back all their debts, and restore the family honor. He put off getting married until a late age, never wanted it, until his parents forced him to be married, and then loved his wife and she loved him. She died, his mother died, and he never shed a tear. Not until today, when his son told him he was ashamed of him.
Naturally, son feels like a little piece of dirt and agrees to ask his father to come to his awards ceremony after all. At which there is a misunderstanding, a beautiful actress is giving the awards, and somehow a rumor starts that Shahrukh is dating the beautiful actress. Some kids at school start teasing Shahrukh’s son about his new “mummy”, he gets upset, and his best friend Kajol’s daughter speaks up for him. The lead kid twists her arm, she warns him 3 times, and then beats him up, just like Shahrukh taught. The principal calls all the parents, Shahrukh defends the little girl, says she should be proud of what she did, it’s good for girls to fight back, he wishes she was his daughter, and she calls him “Papa”.
That night, Kajol yells at her daughter, and explains that you can’t just do things in anger. Because that is what killed her father. Flashback!!!! Her father (who just HAS to be played by Ajay) was with Kajol at a mall when some men teased her. Kajol went off yelling at them, Ajay dragged her away. In the car, Kajol gave him a talking to, said a woman’s greatest defense is the man with her, and today she is ashamed of him. He dropped her off, and immediately drove off back to the mall. Kajol followed in a taxi, saw the end of a huge fight scene, and then arrived just in time to see him be shot. She explains that she left town after that, and had to raise her daughter alone, and now they have to be careful not to get angry or get in trouble, because they have no defense.
Kajol’s daughter, of course, figures out that Kajol should marry Shahrukh, because then he can be their defense. She suggests this to Shahrukh’s son, who is against it. Because he loves Kajol and thinks she is too sweet and nice and loving to be married to his rowdy father. Kajol’s daughter sends a text from her mother’s phone, Shahrukh is intrigued and responds to it, Kajol gets offended and angry, Shahrukh’s son tells Kajol’s daughter to just forget it. Instead, they should try to spend time with “Mummy” and “Papa” on their own. So the next day, they arrange that Kajol’s daughter will be waiting when Shahrukh comes to pick up his son at music lessons, and Shahrukh’s son will be waiting when Kajol comes to pick her daughter up at karate.
Both new father-daughter and mother-son couples fall in love with each other. Shahrukh loves his tough funny little daughter, and Kajol loves her sweet helpful son. By the end of the day, the “Papa” and “Mummy” identities are set. But the parents still don’t really like each other.
New plan! Kajol’s daughter is still determined to be able to live with Mummy and “Papa” and make her best friend into her brother. So for her birthday, she invites her best friend and “Papa” to come over. Shahrukh, kind of half-embarrassed, dresses up nice for the first time, in a full suit instead of his usual more kind of gunda look. His son is still embarrassed and tells him that he isn’t allowed to talk at all the whole time they are there. Shahrukh is cutely obedient and agrees. At first, the party goes well, Kajol smiles a little seeing him in the suit, he is on his best behavior so they aren’t fighting, and Kajol’s daughter is super happy to have them all there, running back and forth between “Papa” and Mummy.
And then, TWIST. The door rings, there is a man outside, it’s AJAY!!!! He’s not really dead!!!!! INTERVAL
Shahrukh and his son leave, and we get an explanation and a flashback. Ajay says that he somehow survived the bullet wound, but by the time he woke up, Kajol and their daughter had left and he had no way of finding them. Kajol seems uncertain this whole time and asks him to leave. And FLASHBACK.
Kajol rushed with Ajay to the hospital, and called her best friend for help (let’s say Shilpa, so it’s a mini-Baazigar reunion). Shilpa shows up and together they follow Ajay to a second hospital for surgery. Only, when they get there, there is no record of him. They go to the police for help, and the police officer asks Shilpa to leave so he can talk to Kajol alone.
He asks Kajol about her family, she explains that she and Ajay are not married yet but are planning to be, her parents are against the marriage and in Canada, so she is all alone her. And then the police officer explains that she is in big danger. Ajay is a hired killer. He first met her because he needed an invitation to a wedding of one of her friends from school, where he killed the father of the bride. But, he is still in town instead of leaving the way he usually does, which means he is probably actually in love with Kajol. Which is why he was shot, because his bosses wanted him to leave. Now, Kajol is in danger, as the witness to the shooting and the one person who really knows Ajay. She has to leave immediately, contact no one, start a new life.
Thus, Kajol’s uncertainty now! She goes to a lawyer (this is the point at which I went from “this would be a good SRKajol move” to “this would be a GREAT SRKajol movie!”) and asks about what she can do to get rid of Ajay. He has no legal claim on her since they didn’t marry, but he might have a claim on their daughter.
And then harassing phone calls start, an older woman calls saying she is Ajay’s mother, an older man calls saying he is Ajay’s father. Ajay is a new man, they just want their granddaughter, etc. etc. Kajol’s reaction is “ugh! Stop calling!” She is frustrated with the emotional blackmail and the harassment and doesn’t know how to stop it. Her lawyer suggests that the best way to stop this permanently is to get married to someone else. Which her daughter overhears and is all “idea!”
Next day, Shahrukh’s son and father show up at the house. And ask Kajol to at least consider their proposal. Shahrukh knows about her situation, doesn’t care, wants to marry her. Will she think about it? Kajol agrees to think about it.
However, turns out Shahrukh didn’t know about it! This is the first time, by the way, that I am going to vary slightly from the original film. We never get to see Shahrukh find out about Kajol’s troubles, which is a scene I want. So I say, his father and son come to him, he gets mad that they bothered Kajol about this, and then they tell him the situation she is in, and he gets all thoughtful. And agrees to at least meet with her and make sure she actually wants this marriage.
But (and now we are back to the original film), when Kajol comes to meet him, coincidentally the beautiful actress has also just stopped by to say hi and thank him for helping out with the rumor situation about the two of them. Misunderstanding!!!
And now I vary from the original film again. I want Shahrukh to go chasing after her, to have a cute apology song, and then them smiling and shaking hands at the end. Unlike in the original, where we just jump straight to Kajol having agreed to a quickie register marriage.
(Cute apology song)
On the day of the marriage, Shahrukh gets to the registry office early so he can watch some other marriages and see how it is done. He jumps in and helps an eloping couple convince the register that they are there of their own free will, and orders them around with when to put on the garlands and they take his blessing. But then, phone call, Kajol isn’t coming! Shahrukh senses that something is wrong at her house, and orders his gundas to pick up the registrar and the registry table and carry it over to Kajol’s house, they will do the marriage there.
But they arrive to discover that Ajay, and his parents, are now there. Kajol’s daughter immediately runs to Shahrukh, calling him “Papa”, and Shahrukh grabs her and tells Ajay that he is just the man who was there at the beginning, that isn’t what makes him her father! The two almost come to blows, but Kajol stops them, and asks Shahrukh to leave. Which he does. But calls one of his gundas and orders him to stay outside the house and report.
He goes home to discover his loving gundas have arranged firecrackers, a band, and even decorated his bedroom, because they thought he would be bringing Kajol back with him. It’s super sad. But Shahrukh keeps it all inside, even tells his son not to feel bad.
Meanwhile, at Kajol’s she is talking with Ajay. He explains that, even if she isn’t willing to come back and live with him, he does want her to come back one time. Because he gave her a suitcase, which she left in the bank, and he needs her to come back and pick it up and give it to him. And then he will drop his claims to her daughter.
After Ajay leaves, Shilpa shows up! She heard that Kajol had resurfaced and of course wanted to meet her, she is her best friend. And she apologizes for being the one who introduced her to Ajay in the first place. Ajay shows up as she is leaving and they kind of posture at each other. Shahrukh’s gunda is watching the whole thing.
Later, Shilpa and Ajay meet. They are both criminals!!!! Shilpa hired Ajay for the original murder, then he stole money from her, which is what is in the bank. They are both using Kajol and don’t care about her or her daughter at all.
Luckily, Kajol isn’t really counting on either of them. She and her lawyer come up with a new plan. Her parents have arranged for her and her daughter to join them in Canada. She will lie to her daughter that this is just a visit, they will come back and marry Shahrukh. So she will be happy and go along with it, and also to keep it from Ajay. Again, in the original, there is no scene clearly showing that Shahrukh is aware of this plan. So in my remake, I will put in a scene where Kajol lies to him, and he is sweetly happy about it, but resists kissing her or even embracing her because that is for “after marriage”. And Kajol is so touched, and already feeling conflicted a little, that she hugs him. And then, just like in the original, happy song of the whole family, Kajol mothering Shahrukh’s son and Shahrukh fathering her daughter.
Followed by (again just like in the original), a bunch of gundas hired by Shilpa attacking them. Kajol is shoved by a couple of guys, suddenly Shahrukh appears out of nowhere, beats them all up. Then beats up even more of them who suddenly appear. Then gets really mad when Kajol’s daughter is accidentally sliced by a knife. Kajol watches all of this, looking thoughtful.
They drop Kajol and her daughter at home and find Ajay there. Shahrukh and Ajay almost come to blows again, he tells him to keep sending men, not just with rods and fists, but guns and knives and Shahrukh will take care of them all before he lets him touch “his” daughter. But Kajol sends Shahrukh away and lets Ajay stay. After he has left, Ajay badmouths him, calls him uneducated and so on. Kajol immediately fires back, that he is a noble good man and Ajay had better never harm or talk bad about Little Boy Name or “That Man” again. Notice, “That Man” because she now has so much respect for him that she doesn’t feel comfortable taking his name.
But, Shahrukh and his son are leaving, and his son is saying “don’t worry, I know Kajol likes us, just wait, we will see her come out on the roof to watch us drive away.” Shahrukh is half-convinced against his will, waits a minute, but when she doesn’t come out, he just puts on his sunglasses and drives away. And of course a second later, Kajol comes out to watch the car leave and neither of them see her.
That night, Shahrukh’s son is crying. Shahrukh goes to comfort him, thinking he is crying over “Mummy” not loving him, tells him that of course she loves him, he is a loveable little boy. But Shahrukh’s son explains he isn’t crying for himself, he is crying for Shahrukh. Shahrukh is the best father in the world and he deserves a wife who loves him, not one who HAS to marry him. Shahrukh tells him not to worry about it.
The day comes when Kajol is going to the bank with Ajay, and then straight to the airport to fly to Canada. Shahrukh and his son come to say good-bye, and at the last minute Kajol’s daughter refuses to leave her “Papa”. The lawyer (I love the lawyer) points out that this is the safest place Kajol’s daughter could be, why shouldn’t she stay with Shahrukh while Kajol goes with Ajay and then meet again at the airport? Plan settled1
Kajol and Ajay go to the bank, no problem, but on their way out Ajay’s “father” shows up in his wheelchair. And pulls a gun! He’s not Ajay’s father at all! He’s another gangster who wants the suitcase of money! And, he’s also not crippled! He stands up from the wheelchair and kicks it away! Also, Ajay’s fake mother is there too! Shooting from a car! And Shilpa! In another car! And no one, including Ajay, is worrying about Kajol at all, she is just caught in the crossfire. Until….SHAHRUKH!!!! He shows up out of nowhere, grabs Kajol and the suitcase, and helps her escape. And explains that he has known almost the whole time about the whole thing, Ajay being a gangster, and Shilpa, and everyone else. And that Kajol was planning to leave. So he followed her to protect her (which also, by the way, proves he loves her and not just her daughter since he left the little girl alone).
After the big shoot out, Shahrukh drops Kajol and her daughter at the airport. One last hug, and then he waves good-bye. A few days later, at school, Shahrukh’s son is all sad and another girl is teasing him because her father and Shahrukh made a “bet” over Beautiful Actress. And then we see Beautiful Actress arriving at school. There is a fake out, we think the “happy ending” will be Beautiful Actress marrying Shahrukh. Only, Shahrukh sees her and hides behind a newspaper. Until he hears someone call his name, lowers the paper, and it’s Kajol! She came back for him! And at the same time, Kajol’s daughter and Shahrukh’s son are reuniting inside the school. They come out to see their parents together, run to embrace them. And in the background, the other little girl from school comes out with her father and Beautiful Actress. He was the one she was there to meet! That was what the misunderstanding was about in the first place, she told the press she was in love with a single father, and when Shahrukh and his son showed up, everyone thought it was him.
So, I’m right aren’t I? This is the perfect SRKajol movie (even if I didn’t write it myself)? Shahrukh should absolutely buy the rights and remake it. Or Ajay! The story is so good, I am sure he and Shahrukh would be willing to co-produce in order to make it happen.
Beautiful Actress: Katrina Kaif
Evil Ex: Ajay Devgan
Shahrukh’s Father: Anupam Kher
Shahrukh’s Son: AbRam, if we wait 5 years. Aryan, if we go back 5 years. Yug, if we wait 3 years
Kajol’s Daughter: Nyssa! Or Suhana if we go back 4 years
Evil Wheelchair Criminal Boss: Jackie Shroff
Evil Fake Mother Criminal Boss: Hema Malini
Evil Old Friend: Shilpa Shetty.
Awesome Lawyer: Tabu!