Friday Classics: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, A Second Go Round!

My last review last week, that was the version I wrote for grad school, all about what it means for star studies and the higher level of meaning and blah de blah de blah.  But I found the need to write a second review after talking with you in the comments, that is more in my blog style.

This is one of those movies that should be your 3rd or 4th Indian film.  Not your first, the plot about arranged marriages and all of that is too hard to get your head around if you are new to the films.  But it can be pretty early on, because the characters and the story are just so darn endearing you can’t help but love them.  You don’t have to love Shahrukh Khan, or get all the references, or anything like that.  The movie will make you fall in love with the characters, no additional knowledge necessary.

It will make you fall in love with the whole thing.  Not just our central couple, but the warm community in Amritsar, the barbershop with your best friend who is happy to drink with you all night, the garage that lets you use their space to rehearse your dance routine, the workers at Punjab Power who will turn off the lights for the whole city just so you can do something nice for your wife, even the dance teachers who come in from the big city to spread around a little glamour and excitement without ever talking down to or disrespecting their students.  This is the best part of India, and Indian film.  A place where connections keep you strong and safe and happy and helped, not trapped and strangled.

(He is seeing God not just in her, but in everything that is around them)

It’s not just the connections between the characters, it’s the way these characters relate to the movies themselves.  Film, in this, is something that strengthens your ability to face the world, enriches your real life.  It’s not an escape, it’s an addition.  It brings out something that was there already, makes it brighter and more solid and more believable.  Love is real, bravery is real, all of that is real, you just need to have faith, and look for it.

That’s what brings our hero and heroine together.  Each of them, in their own way, has lost the faith to even look.  They have to play a game, pretend to be someone else.  Shahrukh does it in an obvious way, but Anushka is doing it as well.  This is how they can find their way back to hope, to “fake it ’til you make it” in other words.  They pretend to be people who can love, romance, make huge leaps and impulsive decisions, and eventually they become those people.  Those people, and other people as well.  That crazy romantic love is integrated into the rest of what they are.  Just as this crazy romantic love story is integrated into all the other things happening around them.  That’s what the title means, it’s not just that there is an extraordinary love story in every ordinary jodi, it’s that there is an extraordinary love story in the middle of every ordinary place, every ordinary flow of life.  These stories are little jewels in the middle of society, and every ordinary person has a role to play in them.  All of society is enriched by them, and ordinary society becomes something magical and extraordinary as well.








There is so much hinted at in the opening moments of this film, our lead character introductions, this is the stuff that makes it need to be the 3rd or 4th or 5th film you watch.  But it doesn’t have to wait until your 20th film.  Because our characters here have no social hangups, no pressures unique to Indian society exactly.  To understand them, all you need is to be human.  It’s just the clues about how they got there that are important and not obvious if it is your first film.

Shahrukh is lonely.  We see him in his big house, alone.  Making his little breakfast, alone.  Bathing, going to work, all alone.  Loneliness, we can understand that.  That is just human.

What you get a little more of, if you have seen a few more films, is that this house would not normally be empty.  Shahrukh being alone means something has gone wrong in his life somehow.  Not necessarily drastically wrong, but this isn’t how life is supposed to be.  Big houses are supposed to have family popping in and out of every nook and cranny, middle-aged men are supposed to be married with kids.  A man like this and a household like this tells us that he has missed his chance.  Or given up his chance.  Marriage is definitively out of the question for him, somehow.

And it doesn’t have to have been a big tragedy that made it out of the question.  Family responsibilities that made him miss the correct age for marriage, maybe aging parents he had to care for who died and left him this big empty house.  But by the rules of Indian society, he has no family left to help him get married, he is past a good marriageable age, it’s not like an office romance is suddenly going to happen and fill the house with children.  He has to make his peace with never marrying.

And then we are introduced to Anushka through her father’s few remarks at her wedding.  She never paid attention in school, she fell in love, and is happily rushing in to marriage.  And she has no mother or other relatives besides her father.  And her father is a teacher.  We can understand being young and in love and joyfully planning a new life.  That is just human.

But what is there in the background is that, in Indian society, a woman could truly be fitted only for marriage, and Anushka sounds like such a woman.  I don’t think I know a woman in America who has truly never had a job of any kind, and never would be able to get a job.  But it’s not unheard of in India, and Anushka is apparently such a woman.  Educated in a respectable way, but never focused on it, always planning a “career” as a wife and fitted for nothing else.  And with no fallback plan if that fails.

There’s a few other parts to it too.  A teacher wouldn’t make much money in India, and most likely all of that money would die with him.  A pension would stop, even housing might be taken away if the school provided it.  And so when Anushka’s father dies, the answer isn’t “well, she can live on the life insurance for a while and figure out her next steps, while she packs up the house and puts it on the market”.  More likely the answer is “there is no money left, and no house left, and she has no marketable skills that will let her go out in the world and get a job, get her own house, do anything to survive this tragedy”.

(She’s a decent dance teacher, but I doubt she could make a paying job of it)

And the final part, Anushka’s marriage falls apart when her fiance and his family die in a bus accident on the way to the wedding.  Very sad, right?  Any human person can understand that.  But there is also the part that is a little more specific.  That a dramatic failure of a marriage in this way is going to make Anushka unmarriagable in future.  She will get a reputation as “unlucky”, no one else will be willing to take her.

And so her father’s insistence on his deathbed, in the immediate marriage of Shahrukh and Anushka is truly the only solution for her.  She is not prepared to do anything but be a wife.  Her father’s death is cutting of the possibility of her having time to learn a new skill and prepare to be something besides a wife, because she needs safety and security now.  She cannot count on another man stepping up to care for her, not with the reputation she now has.  Her father, in desperation, sees only one solution: to marry her, now, immediately, to the one man who is kind enough to take her in, who he can trust to get her through at least the next few months, to help her literally survive.

Oh, and one other thing.  Another solution might have been for Shahrukh (Nicest Man Alive) to offer to simply take Anushka into his house, support her and give her shelter and advice, and help her get training, and then get a job, and eventually be able to take care of herself.  But that wouldn’t work in the Indian context, not really.  First, an unmarried man and woman living alone together just would not fly (and remember, Shahrukh has no family to chaperone).  And for another a woman getting a job and living on her own with no official family anywhere would not be considered a “happy” ending.  Not in a regressive way, just that it would be lonely.  What could be worse than not to have anyone to call your own?

Which is what Anushka saves Shahrukh from.  He is happy in his marriage not because he expects sex and babies and a docile devoted wife (his gentle clearing of his bedroom to leave it free for her is enough to tell her that).  But he is happy just to have someone who cares whether or not he comes home at night.  That is enough for him, that is more than he ever hoped for.

And, in her own way, Anushka is happy to have someone to come home to her as well.  She draws the line that first night, she will never love again, but she will be his wife.  And they both understand what she means.  “Wife” is a job, and a relationship, that can exist without romantic love.  She will take care of his house and make it beautiful and homelike.  She will befriend his friends and keep his respect in the community.  She will even worry about him a little, make him healthy lunches and enjoy when he appreciates her cooking.  That is the career she planned for herself, that is what she wanted to do and what she is good at.  And it is a position that was open in his household and he is very appreciative that it is now filled.  But all of that is without romantic love.

This is a truth in most societies.  Relationships come with expectations.  Duties, responsibilities, the “proper” way to do things.  In most films, we see the love happen first.  And from that love comes the desire to fill the role.  Look at Hum Aapke Hain Koun, for instance.  Madhuri and Salman flirt and flirt and flirt.  And fall in love.  And only then does he start working late at the office, while she stays up to serve him food she has made with her own hands.  They want to be a “wife” and a “husband” as a way of expressing their love for each other.  The same is true anywhere, there are certain social models we learn from media, from society, from watching our own parents.  And that is how we learn to express emotions ourselves.  Things as simple as kissing your wife good-bye before you leave for work.  Is that because you saw it in a movie, or saw your parents do it, or just came up with it yourself?  Does it really matter?  You both understand that it means you love each other, and that’s the important part.

So Anushka and Shahrukh don’t really have to talk through what is happening.  The understand that Anushka is grateful to him for taking her in, and he is grateful to her for all she does around the home.  And she shows her feelings through buying him new sheets and making him nice meals, and he shows his feelings by taking her to the movies and buying a new car that will be more comfortable than his scooter.

And they could have lead a small not-unhappy life in this way.  They wouldn’t have even known they were unhappy, Anushka would have gone on thinking her heart was dead, and Shahrukh would have gone on thinking that he was a man who didn’t know how to love.  But then something magic entered their world.

(This magic)

This is what art is supposed to do, to awaken dormant parts of your soul, inspire you to grow to new heights of humanity.  And that is the proof of its success, if it has the ability to do that for the audience.  And so when Shahrukh and Anushka go to see a stupid movie and she laughs and smiles and turns back into a happy young woman, that’s art.  That’s powerful and worthwhile and even noble.  And when a dance class, a silly little dance class with fast talking cool dude teachers and students who take it all a little too seriously, teaches Shahrukh to be proud of himself and be himself, that’s powerful and worthwhile and even noble too.  It is the art of it all that brings them together, that serves as the hand of God in making them a couple.

It sounds like such a silly little plot, a man gives himself a make over and his wife doesn’t recognize him.  How is this even possible?  Well, it’s because she didn’t want to recognize him, not this part of himself.  It was easy to see him as just “husband”, not a person, but a dull simple thing like a hatrack or a chair or a table.  The “Raj” character, post makeover, this isn’t a real person either.  This is a combination of all the shallow silly lovers in all the movies in the world.  This is the kind of love that doesn’t scare her, the silly fake love, not the real painful kind.

And this is the love that does scare Shahrukh, the real Shahrukh.  He falls in love in just a moment.  And he knows the pain of love, and the sacrifice of it, that is easy for him.  It’s the shallow surface part that is hard, expressing it in a way that someone else can see, rather than holding it carefully in his heart.  The filmi lover style, that lets him express it, he can just imitate what they do and pretend it isn’t really himself, it doesn’t really count.

(that real love, that’s what Anushka finally sees and acknowledges here, that it was there all along but he didn’t want to force her to see it)

And Anushka, briefly, is tempted by just escaping into the filmi world.  Taking a love that is all grand gestures and drama, instead of the hardworking sorrow of day to day life.  Escaping in a different way, just as when she tried to tell Shahrukh on their wedding night that she had no more love to give, she just wanted a new life with none of the old self there.

And what changes her mind is nothing.  Because her mind was never fully settled in the first place, it was all a fantasy, she just needed to wake up from it.  Wake up from all of it, her grief over her fiance and her father, her conviction that she could never love again and should cut love from her life, her escape into the fantasy of a perfect love story, she wakes up from all of it and sees Shahrukh, really sees him, for the very first time.  And falls in love at first sight, just as he did with her.  That’s all it is, love at first sight, just like in any other movie.  But it happens at the end instead of the beginning.

(Makes me cry every time)

36 thoughts on “Friday Classics: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, A Second Go Round!

  1. One of my favourite films, one that I have watched countless times. If I ever get caught out in the rain I tilt my head up and think ‘ Close your eyes and let the raindrops enter your heart’, and suddenly I don’t mind getting wet.
    I so wish Adi were ready to make another film with Shahrukh. He is a master of those gorgeous little scenes that stay with you forever, like the gol gopa competition and the scenes in Raju’s garage.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You can see why Shahrukh didn’t even read the script. He knew he could trust Adi to do just right by him. Even Mohabbatein, generally not a great movie, came alive in the Shahrukh scenes.

      On Sat, Nov 25, 2017 at 9:35 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



    • Yes, a string of magic pearls…

      “Makes me cry every time”…me too, Margaret, me too (and I deeply admire ShahRukh’s performance to do this dance as Suri who had learned the steps as Raj but is now – in coram publico! – dancing as Suri)
      *sigh* in your writing you recreate the magic of this movie. A young woman cut from life’s beauty & happiness through her grief believing she wouldn’t be able to love anymore…a gentle & introvert man who believes that living love & happiness is something for others.
      What would they have become without the katalyst of genuine friendship? (I cannot imagine RabNeBanaDiJodi without Suri’s friend Bobby!)
      As Art most often is an expression of (a part of) the inner self, I see several levels of “art” here (my favourite number 3 😉 ).


  2. I’ve seen this movie many many times but you dug out some nooks and crannies it that are just right. Your observation that she also falls in love at first sight at the end explained a small detail I’ve always noticed. When she sees him for real foe the first time at the temp,e as he is walking toward her, he suddenly looks taller and broader and frankly more like Shah Rukh than either Suri OR Raj. What you’ve now explained is that she sees a man she can fall in love with. In the movie as she is flashing back in the final dance to all the things he’s done for her, she remembers the night after the eating contest when she felt sick, he ,she now realises ,felt just as sick but he ate her biriyani out of love. That’s the real love of true love NOT big filmi gestures.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! I’ve noticed that before with Shahrukh’s performance in this, he holds himself differently as Suri, as Raj, and at the end as “confident Suri”. I focused on that final moment as when Anushka finally allowed herself to be awake to love, now that she was confronting the reality of running away with Raj. But it’s also when Shahrukh finally felt comfortable within himself, having accepted that he might lose her forever and there was nothing more he could do without being untrue to himself. He was more confident, more “real” at that point than she had ever seen him before.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sometimes life gratifies us with the fulfilment of a wish when we cess to struggle to get this wish fulfilled, when we shed the burden of frustration, when we get free in a certain way…that may give our gait enother energy and our sight another clarity.
        I am happy about all those observations you made and share. RabNeBanaDiJodi belongs to ShahRukh’s movies who are ‘special’ to me.
        If your blog had existed at the time of the release, I think, you might have done also a scene-by-scene 🙂


  3. I was lucky in that this was one of the first Hindi movies I ever saw, and my second SRK. RNBDJ and DDLJ were both on Netflix then, and I watched DDLJ and then RNBDJ right after. I was a goner for Shahrukh after that.

    What’s funny to me now is that I was so new to Shahrukh that I remember actually stopping the movie when he comes into the dance studio because I didn’t believe it was the same actor. I had to look it up on IMDB to check!! LOL! I feel a bit better about that because I remember reading that the Suri character was such a different look that people on set at first didn’t recognize it was SRK, even some people who had worked with him a long time.

    This is one of my all time favorite movies. So good!


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  5. I don’t get this movie at all(wrong place to say this, I know :P) If being flirty and cocky as Raj comes to Suri so easily, then what is the big problem? There isn’t even a proper scene where he struggles to become Raj, except for him struggling with the tight jeans.


    • In some interivew, Shahrukh casually acknowledged that Suri is clearly insane. Which is the best explanation I can come up with! He is having some kind of mental break in the middle of this whole thing, the “Raj” persona is closer to a split personality than anything else.

      On Thu, Nov 30, 2017 at 11:08 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



      • That’s what the scene with the mannequin hints to, that there will be a competition, not a dance but a love competiton. What’s interesting is that Suri insists that he won’t reveal his Raj role because he wants to be loved as Suri as there is only one heart that loves Taani and that is Suri’s. So, when he get the feeling that he as Suri will never be able to make her happy he renounces to a further competition. It’s Taani’s choice that is the most important.
        I find the premise of the movie extraordinarily deep: true love wants to see the other happy, the other’s happiness is even more important than God. Yet you may to have to pay a price if there is no requited love.


      • I see it differently – Suri is this shy, serious guy. Everybody around, and Suri himself are used to see him this way like for years. He has a name, work, neighbors and certain reputation. It’s not easy to change , especially if he is not a teenager anymore and let’s not forget that he knows nothing about women (and that Taani is not interested in even looking at him) . But Raj is something else, it’s like a role for actors (how many actors say in interviews that they are shy in private life, but not on stage?). A brand new , free person. He can act stupid, because he has nothing to lose, nobody knows him. That’s why it’s not hard to become Raj.


        • I agree that Raj is a role who makes him act the contrary of shy and introvert. However, his plan had be another one – he wanted only to watch her dance and surprise her at home…actually, he hadn’t a real plan except doing something that makes her laugh. I think it is only when he notices that she doesn’t recognize him that he gets the idea to play another person.
          And now, he indeed profits from the possibilities which are offered to him, but still there are people who know him as Suri who get to know him as Raj (and their reaction is heart warmingly nice).


    • I’ve been avoiding it because I wrote a couple research papers on it while I was in school, so I sort of feel like I’ve run out of stuff to say.

      On Thu, Nov 30, 2017 at 11:20 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



        • Oh someday I will get around to it, I’m sure. I’ve been avoiding all 3, Roja and Bombay and Dil Se, because that’s what I wrote about.

          On Thu, Nov 30, 2017 at 11:23 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



          • I loove Roja, didn’t get through Bombay because I found it too depressing, and Dil Se just fascinated me.
            Also, is it weird that I like Dil To Pagal Hai but don’t like Rab be?


          • It is VERY VERY WEIRD!!!! (I say as someone who doesn’t like DTPH but likes Rab Ne). No, that makes sense to me. I mean, if we both like one but not the other, that means there is something different enough between the two films that not everyone will like both. For me, I find DTPH just too big and kind of loose and floppy feeling. There’s sooooooooooo many characters and soooooooooo many scenes and soooooooooooo many misunderstandings. Whereas Rab Ne is really “tight”. There’s truly just 3 characters, Bobby and Anushka and Shahrukh, and it’s a really simple story about Shahrukh and Anushka falling in love.


    • I just think of DTPH as a silly romantic 90s movie with great songs and lot of fluff, but Karishma’s story is the part which pulls my heart strings. I’ve read a lot of articles which said that she overacted in the lake scene where she breaks down in front of SRK , but i loved her. You don’t get too many friendzoned women characters in Indian Cinema.
      On the surface level, both movies deal with “God” playing a part in the love lives of SRK and Madhuri and SRK and Anushka, but while it was a given for me than DTPH would be shallow and cheesy, maybe i expected a little more from RNBDJ.


      • That makes sense. And I also love Karisma’s story in DTPH! She didn’t just give depth to her role, she gave it to everyone else. Shahrukh was a lot more interesting as “guy who loves his best friend but just not that way and is torn up about it” than as just “guy in love with girl”. And Madhuri was way more interesting when she was being challenged to fight for her guy than when he was just handed to her.


        • There was this ‘formula’ of A loves B but B loves C but C is promised to D that was the theme of DilToPagalHai…in a space where ABC worked together and D was the outsider (who eventually stepped back). So it were A and D who had to deal with unrequited love but I got the feeling that the most intensity was put on Nisha (Karisma) in this movie…Rahul & Puja’s romance was just nice with some erotic moments, nothing really deep (imo).

          The ‘formula’ in RabNe is another one and changes in between: First = A loves B but B doesn’t love A…so A creates a C and we get A loves B and B loves C (the evening before the competition)…then that changes in A loves B and B loves A (great acting of ShahRukh when Taani makes clear that and why she won’t go with him)…and at the competition A = C, so there is the balance between A and B.


          • Because the formula for Rab ne had a little more depth, I expected a lot more from the movie, little more detailing on Suri struggling to become Raj.


        • “She didn’t just give depth to her role, she gave it to everyone else” Yess!!!! Beautifully put.
          I didn’t feel much for Akshay, but always thought that Karishma ought to find the one for her too. Maybe a Sunday post on this?


          • I think i just assumed that Karisma and Akshay ended up together. He seemed really really nice, and of course very handsome, so that was fine. But now that you mention it, I kind of want Karisma to have a huge swoony romance, have someone as passionately in love with her as she was with Shahrukh, not just a “well, we are both nice, and both have broken hearts, lets get together” kind of thing.

            On Thu, Nov 30, 2017 at 9:56 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



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  8. Several years late, but this movie popped into my head as I was getting groceries yesterday. In a very funny way, it reminded me of ‘Dirty Dancing’: a sexually inexperienced person being brought to love and sex with someone they vaguely idealize through the Power of Dance.

    Except older! And gender swapped! Two things that are rarely seen! We barely touch on Suri’s sexuality in the movie, but it’s true that he learns to be more expressive with his words and more connected to his emotions and body as Anushkha teaches him to dance. Not only with her, but with himself. He has a song ‘Haule Haule’, where emotions bubble up to the surface when they hadn’t before. And then there’s ‘Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai’. Now he isn’t alone in his emotions, he’s able to show them to someone else. And then the last dance sequence, where he’s in control of his body and sharing that with her on…a honeymoon. Emotions for self -> Reaching Out -> Body Language for self -> Body language for communication.

    She teaches him to more controlled, less jerky and just generally become a Man, in all the ways one can (emotionally, sexually, financially etc.), in similar ways to how Patrick Swayze teaches Jennifer. Not a perfect analogy, but the movies have that cool trend!


    • Oh, I love this concept! Especially since both movies aren’t really about learning to love to dance, exactly. It’s learning to love yourself, through dance.


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