I Still Haven’t Seen the New Star Wars! But I’ve Recast the Old One For Us

I totally forgot I wrote this post, and then some nice Cyrillic using reader posted a link to it on a message board which reminded me of it.  And it’s brilliant!  I agree with everything I said!  And Star Wars is back in the news, so I might as well put it up again for us all to appreciate and discuss.

No need to worry about the plot, we just take the original trilogy, smash it into one three hour plus film.  Get rid of the sci-fi stuff, because I don’t think that works as well in India.  Make it fantastical instead, Bahubali style.  Otherwise, same-to-same.  Luke is a lost warrior raised on a farm, Leia is his secret sister, Obi Wan Kenobi is his mentor, Han Solo is a smuggler, Darth Vader is evil, plot happens.

Casting, that’s where we can have the debates!  And this is such a timeless story, I really feel like it would work in any era.  So let’s do it decade by decade/language by language!

1950s:

Luke: Dilip Kumar (has a kind of innocent demeanor, good with a sword)

Image result for dilip kumar young

Leia: Nargis (Classy, confident, powerful)

Image result for nargis young

Han Solo: Dev Anand (cool kind of bad boy vibe)

Image result for dev anand

OR Raj Kapoor (crazy chemistry with Nargis, could also be bad when he wanted to, their swimsuit scene in Awara is basically a Leia-Han scene already)

Image result for awara nargis

Obi Wan: Ashok Kumar (older, wise, had a real life mentor relationship with Dilip)

Image result for ashok kumar dilip kumar

Darth Vader: Prithviraj Kapoor (Screen presence like you wouldn’t believe!  Plus, very tall.  And a great voice)

Image result for prithviraj kapoor

1960s:

Luke: Rajesh Khanna (Young Rajesh Khanna would make the sexiest innocent farm boy ever!)

Image result for rajesh khanna young

Leia: Sharmila Tagore (Confident, cool, able to give back as much as she got)

Image result for sharmila tagore

Han Solo: Shammi Kapoor (he just doesn’t care about anything!)

Image result for shammi kapoor

Obi Wan: Ashok Kumar (still totally able to pull it off well into the 60s)

Image result for ashok kumar rajesh khanna

Darth Vader: Pran (he can play anything)

Image result for pran

1970s:

Luke: Amitabh (not even going to bother explaining, this casting is so clearly right)

Leia: Hema Malini (ditto)

Han Solo: Dharmendra (ditto)

 

Image result for hema malini dharmendra

Obi Wan: Pran! (he can still play anything)

Image result for pran 1970s

Darth Vader: Sanjeev Kumar (he can play anything too)

Image result for sanjeev kumar

1980s:

Luke: Anil Kapoor (It’s Anil Kapoor!  How could you not?)

Image result for young anil kapoor

Leia: Dimple (Mature, confident, very cool)

Han Solo: Sunny Deol (cool, strong, great chemistry with Dimple)

Image result for dimple kapadia sunny deol

Obi Wan: Shammi Kapoor (doing character roles in his older years, couldn’t move very well, but still had such great presence!)

Image result for shammi kapoor

Darth Vader: Danny Danzongpa (it’s the 80s, it’s always Danny Danzongpa)

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1990s:

Luke: Salman Khan (Salman in Maine Pyar Kiya mode is a perfect Luke)

Image result for salman khan maine pyar kiya

Leia: Sridevi (I was going to put her in the 80s until I remembered Dimple, but she was still acting in the 90s, so this works)

Image result for sridevi

Han Solo: Anil Kapoor (I’m open to suggestions, but he had such great chemistry with Sridevi, and he was kind of in a Tapoori bad boy mode in the 90s)

Image result for anil kapoor sridevi

Obi Wan: Anupum Kher! The perfect Obi Wan!

Image result for anupam kher anil kapoor

Darth Vader: Amrish Puri!  The perfect Darth Vader!  This may be my favorite cast

Image result for amrish puri

2000s:

Luke: Hrithik

Leia: Priety Zinta

Image result for hrithik preity zinta

Han Solo: Shahrukh

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Obi Wan: Amitabh

Image result for amitabh hrithik

Darth Vader: Amitabh in a clever double role!

Image result for amitabh hrithik

And finally, 2010s:

Luke: Ranbir Kapoor

Image result for ranbir kapoor wake up sid

Leia: Kareena Kapoor (clever, right?)

Image result for ranbir kapoor kareena kapoor

Han Solo: Ranveer Singh maybe?

Image result for ranveer singh

Obi Wan: Shahrukh

Image result for shahrukh khan dear zIndagi

Darth Vader: Amitabh!

Image result for amitabh ranbir kapoor

 

 

Now, the real challenge, Southern!!!!

Tamil 80s:

Luke: Kamal Haasan

Leia: Sridevi

Han Solo: Rajnikanth

Image result for kamal haasan sridevi rajinikanth young

Obi Wan: Major Sundarrajan

Image result for major sundarrajan

Darth Vader: Major Sundarrajan in a clever double role

Image result for major sundarrajan

 

Tamil 2000s:

Luke: Madhavan

Leia: Jyothika

Image result for madhavan jyothika

 

Han Solo: Ajith

Image result for ajith

Obi Wan: Kamal Haasan

Image result for kamal haasan 2000s

Darth Vader: Rajnikanth

Image result for rajnikanth baasha

 

Malayalam 90s:

Luke: Mohanlal

Leia: Revathy (love her!  And the same height as Carrie Fisher)

Image result for mohanlal revathy

 

Han Solo: Mammootty

Image result for mammootty young

Obi Wan: Thilakan

Image result for thilakan

Darth Vader: Also Thilakan! In a clever double role.

 

Malayalam Today:

Luke: Dulquer

Leia: Nazriya Nizam

Han Solo: Nivin Pauly

Image result for bangalore days

Obi Wan: Mohanlal

Image result for mohanlal

Darth Vader: Mammootty

Image result for mammootty dulquer

 

Telugu 90s:

Luke: Prabhudeva (not in love with this, open to suggestions)

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Leia: Tabu

Han Solo: Nagarjuna!

 

Related image

Obi Wan: Nasser

Image result for nasser telugu actor

Darth Vader: ANR

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Telugu Today:

Luke: Naga Chaitanya

Related image

Leia: Nithya Menon

Image result for nithya menon

Han Solo: Allu Arjun

Image result for allu arjun

Obi Wan: Sathyaraj

Image result for sathyaraj telugu actor

Darth Vader: Nagarjuna

Image result for nagarjuna naga chaitanya

 

So, which is your favorite?  What changes would you make?  

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10 thoughts on “I Still Haven’t Seen the New Star Wars! But I’ve Recast the Old One For Us

  1. Pingback: Quick Speculative May The Fourth Post | dontcallitbollywood

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