Why is my dog journey somehow taking longer than my apartment journey? Or, like, applying for grad school? I think it’s probably me. I am way way way way way too picky.
I used to have 0 dog. The goal is +1 dog. And over the past few days, I briefly went down to -1 dog, but now I am up to +.25 dog.
So, remember how there was the dog that was too young and too active (probably) and slightly too large and all of that? So, I let my parents and my friends with dogs, and all you nice people in the comments (except Procrastinatrix!) talk me out of her.
And talk me into the totally reasonable and logical dog. I only saw her picture on the website, but she was exactly what I said I was looking for, older and lazy and so on. Only, I couldn’t meet her because she was too sick to be in the visiting area, she was stuck in the hospital until she recovered from heartworm (a mild dog illness that is easy to cure but does require slightly careful care).
Everyone I knew told me to get her, said she was clearly perfect, I should be sensible and reasonable and so on. And there was even a sensible and reasonable option before committing, I could offer to foster her through her recovery, the shelter pays all the expenses, I just get to take care of the dog, and if I end up not liking her or it is a bad fit, I can just give her back once she is healthy. Easy-peasy! What could go wrong?
(This dog)
Well, this is what can go wrong. After I committed to fostering, after I had her pulled from the doggie hospital and she can’t go back, and after I let the other dog go and be adopted by someone else, I went to pick her up at the shelter and actually meet her, and I HATED this dog.
The first day was really rough. I didn’t love this dog enough to enjoy taking care of her, and yet I am so responsible that I have to take care of her. And she kept me up literally all night whining. If I were a different person, I would just sleep through dog whines, but I’m not, so I kept getting up every hour to go hang out with her.
Also, I have to carry her up and down the stairs because she is too sick to go up them, and I hate carrying dogs up and down stairs, it feels like both of us have lost all of our dignity. And she is a cuddler and likes giving doggie kisses, which I also hate for the aforementioned “neither of us has any dignity here” reasons. Oh, and she desperately wants to sleep in the same bed as me and NO. I’m a nice girl, I don’t sleep with someone unless I am in love with them, and I am not in love with her. She is not getting in my bed.
(See how Shahrukh keeps pressuring her to the bedroom? That’s what it feels like with this dog, and I am just trying to dance around in item songs long enough to keep her away.)
So, that first day, that was a bit of a -1 dog day. Because I had committed to foster her for 38 days until she was fully recovered from her illness, which meant I couldn’t get another dog I would actually enjoy until I was done fostering.
But day two was better. She did fine being left home alone all day, which also told me that I didn’t have to believe her whining quite as much, she didn’t need human contact all the time she just liked it. And she seemed to have processed the “no means no” lesson a bit better and let me have my bed to myself so I actually got to sleep through the night. And most of all, the benefits of having a dog, any dog, are beginning to kick in!
It’s like I have a therapist, a personal trainer, and a nagging mom all in one! I’ve visited the park 3 blocks from my apartment for the first time since I moved in, I suddenly had the energy to finally finish the baby gift that has been hanging over me for months, I’m eating at the table instead of in front of the TV, all of those things that I know in my head I should be doing but I never do.
So, I am now at +.25 dog. I still don’t have a dog that I look forward to coming home to, or building a life with, or any of that. But I am getting all of the mental health benefits from having any dog at all, while I wait for my “real” dog to appear.
And just think how much easier all of this will be when I am doing it for someone I actually care about instead of just going through the motions out of a sense of duty! And, of course, how much happier this dog will be when she gets to leave her transition home with me and go to her forever home with someone who loves her. I’ll put it this way, I am Rani in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, stuck with Abhishek and unable to love him even though on paper he is perfect for her, and my Abhishek-dog will be much happier once she finds the white girl who can really love her, while I am just waiting for my Shahrukh to come along.
dontcallitbollywood 
Hang in there..once animals realize they can trust the people they are with you’l get your life back .give it time .don’t worry she’l get used to your rules and regulations..oh and good luck getting your bed back..whether cats or dogs they own your bed once they enter your life
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I’m gonna do whatever it takes to keep my bed to myself! New system is newspapers. Either they will make it less appealing and she will stay off while I am gone, or if she does get on, it’s just newspapers and I can get rid of them.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 12:55 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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ok but you better add a plastic sheet underneath the newpapers just to keep your bed pee free and dry
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Maybe you live your own JabHarryMetSejal… 🙂
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I need to wait for the dog with which I have a mystical soulmate bond.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 1:32 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Harry and Sejal didn’t know of that bond at the beginning 🙂
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Ah, but there was that strange inexplicable undercurrent! Whereas this dog, I just find vaguely irritating, not with a strange ability to uncover emotions I thought long dead.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 3:11 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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*chuckle* neither Harry nor Sejal thought that at the beginning…they found the other “vaguely irritating” , too 😀
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But only because they were in self-denial! I am so much more self-aware than they are. Of course, that’s probably what they would have siad too.
Well, we will see if this is a Harry and Sejal situation, or a Rani and Abhishek “it’s just never going to work” kind of deal.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 7:34 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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You must foster her for 38 days? It’s a lot of time. And what if the dog will start loving you?
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Her treatment takes 30 days, and it can’t start until next week. So, 38.
And that’s also kind of why I’m not feeling guilty for making her love me. If I weren’t fostering her, it would be 38 days in an animal hospital in a cage, so even having her heart slightly broken at the end of it is still worth it, if she gets to be in a nice house with people instead of in an institution.
Plus, she is, like, the PERFECT dog. On paper. which means someone else is just going to snap her up as soon as I give her back, she won’t be unloved for long. Again, like Abhishek.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 2:09 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Just wait and see. In a month’s time anything may have happened. True love may still blossom.
And if the man and dog in the pic above turn up on your doorstep, please direct them to my house. 🙂
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I’ll have to, because unfortunately I don’t think my lease will allow me to keep either of them.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 3:28 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Thanks for the update! I hope you’ll keep your heart open–she will likely be a different doggie in 2 weeks, let alone 38 days. See where the journey takes you–like in RNBDJ. But in the end, if it’s more like Paheli or KANK as you say, you can let her go knowing that you’ve done right by her.
I’m glad first adorable dog got adopted. What is annoying (but still quite cute!) doggie’s name? How old is she?
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Current doggie is named “Izzy”. But she doesn’t feel like an Izzy to me, and that’s just her shelter name. So I am calling her “Baby” when I have to call her anything, more as an endearment than a name. And then her forever family can rename her whatever they want, she won’t be super tied to it. And she is 5 years old, which is part of the problem. Not being 5, but she clearly is used to a certain kind of life and a certain kind of owner after having that for her first 5 years (the kind of owner that lets her sleep in the bed and gives doggie kisses), and I can’t live up to that. It’s fine for 30 days, but her forever home should be more similar to what she had the first half of her life.
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 3:30 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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This is your first dog, right? You didn’t have a family dog as a kid? It’s good you’re fostering because it will let you experience the day to day reality of having a dog without committing to it for years. I love animals but they are messy, often smelly, periodically destructive. It’s like living with a pre-verbal toddler except toddlers grow out of it pretty fast. Signed, has four cats.
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My first dog as a single owner, but definitely not my first. We got a puppy when I was 3 that practically helped raise me. And then another dog right before I went to college that lived until a few years ago. She was officially my parents’ dog, but they were working so I was home with her all day before I went to college, and then I dog sat her for the next 6 years. The first dog was in a house, which made it a lot easier, but my parents moved to an apartment with the second dog, so I did the whole walks and leaving her alone all day and all of that stuff. I’ve never had a cat though, because cats are anathema in my family. I think my father might secretly like them, but it’s not acceptable to talk about 🙂 And now my sister is mildly allergic so I kind of have a reason not to get one.
And what I am realizing is that I can put up with a lot, I have cleaned up dog vomit and accidents inside the home, I don’t even flinch about picking up droppings, I have no issue with dog hair on everything, dog smell is pleasant, but I draw the line at on the mouth doggie kisses (ewwwwww!) and sleeping with the dog in the bed. And also committing for years to a dog I just plain don’t like. Which is definitely a thing, my grandparents had a dog none of us really liked, the exact same breed as their previous dog that everyone loved, but somehow this one just did not have a personality we could get along with. And he lived to be like 16 and in those 16 years, we never warmed up to him and his personality never altered.
But you’re right, fostering is good in that way! Because I am realizing that the day to day reality doesn’t actually bother me or surprise me at all. It’s a lot of work, but it’s what I was expecting and it’s work I am glad to do. And just think how much easier it will all be once I have a dog I also like!
On Sat, Jan 27, 2018 at 10:24 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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If I’m being very honest, I absolutely cannot relate to this situation at all. How do you keep a dog that you don’t like out of a sense of duty only for 38 days and know that you’re definitely giving it back?!!! That poor little thing has no idea this is the arrangement. She’s probably thinking you’re her human now! She wants to sleep in your bed because someone she loved before let her do that. She whines because she needs to be reassured. I hope you tell her the plan over and over again in a loving voice that she’s going to go back. They do understand what we’re saying you know
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Yes, I do feel a little guilty. But honestly, this is way way better than the alternatives for her. She’s too sick to be adopted, so either she is “fostered” by someone for a month and gets to recover in a home with one on one care, or she gets to be sick in the doggie hospital in a little concrete cell.
Also, I can tell she is still in shock right now and missing her home where she was for the first 5 years of her life, she isn’t ready to bond to someone new yet. With the sickness and the shock and all, she may make it through the whole 38 days without ever really being able to make a connection to some one new. That’s what all my friends who got older shelter dogs experienced, it took at least a month for them to be ready to bond, and what I remember too from when we got our shelter dog as a family.
This way, I get her through the messy sickness and confusion and everything, and she is all patched up emotionally and physically and ready to love when I am done with her, just in time for her perfect forever family to adopt her and get all the benefits of a healthy loving dog.
On Sun, Jan 28, 2018 at 3:08 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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You’re just brave. I get heartbroken having to leave behind Street dogs that I feed when I visit relatives.
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Oh, that I could never do! If this was a street dog, I would have to keep her. Thankfully, she is from a highly funded beautifully run no kill shelter. So she will be going from me to an even better home almost immediately.
On Sun, Jan 28, 2018 at 8:53 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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And what happened to her that she is not longer with her first family?
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It’s hard to know, she was abandoned with puppies. So maybe she got pregnant, or maybe they just couldn’t afford her any more and she got pregnant later. The fact that she was never spayed means her owners either weren’t that concerned about her, or didn’t have much money (spaying isn’t super expensive, but it is if you are living on the poverty line).
On Sun, Jan 28, 2018 at 1:52 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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it’s just like Dear Zindagi. You’re the Shahrukh role and the dog is Alia. Love grows during a stressful time for dog/Alia, but it’s situational and it’s inevitable that you must part.
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Nice thought… and maybe the best of all ShahRukh-film-comparisons 🙂
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Yes, exactly! And then I will move on to my real dog, and she will move on to her age appropriate Aditya Roy Kapoor owner.
On Sun, Jan 28, 2018 at 9:34 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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