Let’s recast this sucker! Mostly so I can make it female-female, but I would also be okay with male-female.
The basic love story is so great, youthful and eager and naive new recruit who falls in love with his dead sexy training officer/commander. And the cynical older training officer/commander finds the youthful sincerity and loyalty of the new recruit irresistible. In the midst of gun fights and briefings and overseas missions, they fall in love but never speak their feelings out loud.
Female-Female:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Rani Mukherjee
Naive new recruit: Taapsee Pannu
Female-Female Telugu:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Anushka Shetty
Naive new recruit: Tamannah
Female-Female Tamil:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Shobhana
Naive new recruit: Sai Pallavi
Female-Female Hindi again:
Dead sexy training officer: Madhuri Dixit
Naive new recruit: Alia Bhatt
Female-Female Malayalam:
Dead Sexy training officer: Parvathy
Naive new recruit: Nazriya Nazim
Okay, now the boringer one:
Female-Male:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Madhuri Dixit
Naive new recruit: Ranbir Kapoor
Female-Male:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Kareena Kapoor
Naive new recruit: Arjun Kapoor
Female-Male:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Kajol
Naive new recruit: Varun Dhawan
Female-Male Telugu
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Ramya Krishnan
Naive new recruit: Varun Tej
Female-Male Tamil
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Jyothika
Naive new recruit: Vijay Sethupathi
Female-Male Malayalam
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Parvathy
Naive New Recruit: Tovino Thomas
And finally, male-male in other languages
Male-Male Telugu:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Nagarjuna
Naive New Recruit: Prabhas
Male-Male Tamil:
Dead Sexy Training Officer: Suriya
Naive New Recruit: Arya
dontcallitbollywood 
Dead sexy officer: Katrina Kaif channeling Madam-Sir and Zoya
Naive recruit: Anushka Sharma channeling her character in RNBDJ.
Also, some people on Twitter were proposing a YRF crossover film with Tiger-Zoya and Kabir-Khalid as super couples saving the world and I think that’s brilliant.
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YES! Kat is perfect as the dead sexy officer. But I think I want someone even more naive as the naive young trainee. Alia?
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 12:04 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’m very meh on Alia. Maybe Janhvi? She’s got the requisite extremely pretty, not an amazing actor but can be coached to look gobsmacked with love.
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Sara is my favorite of the up and coming actresses, but I’m not sure if she can do the naive innocent instead of the spunky flirt. Shraddha? I never thought I would suggest it, but she is so good at the sweet open faced naive type.
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Shraddha would be perfect! Remember, Tiger can’t act either but was in shock and awe through the film (as were we all).
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And Shraddha can dance! We would still be able to have the great couple dances.
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 1:59 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Oh oh! Idea!!!! Tiger-Zoya rescue a young man with amnesia from a terrible den of evil. They discover he has amazing fighting abilities and adopt him as part of their team. And then Hrithik shows up and starts fighting Tiger-Zoya. They don’t understand what is happening, everyone fights each other, and then Khalid shows up and yells “STOP!!!” and reveals that Hrithik is his true love. Hrithik has been searching for Khalid all over the world, thought that Tiger-Zoya were his captures. But once all the misunderstandings are cleared up, they have a nice couple dinner party and song number together, and then go off to save the world together.
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😭❤️️😭❤️️😭❤️️😭❤️️😭❤️️😭❤️️
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These are all very on point and I would LOVE a female/female one. We had a new Terminator trailer and it would ALMOST be that. Personally I just want Govinda and Tiger, just once, before I die.
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Perhaps one of those Make a Wish things? You are dying of a fatal need for hoyay, and out of their kindness you want celebrities to take a moment and make your last days happy.
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 12:42 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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brb, faking my own death.
Govinda is too big a bitch to actually care about my dying though, so I doubt it will work.
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Pay off a Priest to have him tell him it is some kind of religious good luck thing to do a movie with Tiger that involves a lot of songs and drunken talking scenes.
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lolol that is a great idea. Maybe make some holograms and make him think I’m pre-emptively haunting him too.
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Forget my options, I am all about Alisa’s suggestion of Kat! Kat and Alia? Would that not be perfect?
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Yes! Honestly though to me they are all kind of perfect?
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I would even be willing to accept a female-male pairing, so long as we get Madhuri and Ranbir.
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idk, I just don’t want to watch Ranbir in anything, ever. Replace him with Harsh and we’re talking.
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Ranveer?
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I think he’d be pretty good in the Tiger role because he has the enthusiasm but the other one would have to be domineering enough. Which, sure.
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Only if Madhuri gets to be his dom.
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Did you not understand the character dynamic of “Dead Sexy Trainer” and “Naive New Recruit”?
I mean, we can use the same character descriptions and not set it in the context of an army camp if we have to.
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Yeah, I’m think we take Ghagra and set it in a BDSM club instead of a brothel and have Ranbir as a young college filmmaker who ends up enslaved by Madhuri.
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My goodness, that got dark! I wouldn’t say enslaved by Madhuri, I would say he is a young man who needs money who signs up voluntarily for the training program. But he ended up falling in love with his Dom trainer Madhuri. Only he has to convince her that his feelings are sincere and he is special, since she has so many young subs who desire her.
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 2:02 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I really don’t like Ranbir so yes, dark as a mofo.
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Heck, let’s go full dark fantasy. Madhuri is a sorcerer Queen of a matriarchy. Ranbir is the spoiled princeling of the nearby kingdom. He tries to attack Madhuri’s kingdom, she captures him, he falls in love at first sight when he sees her standing over him with sword and whip. She throws him in dungeon and slowly breaks him down. In the end, she makes him her prince consort/slave. Like Prince Phillip.
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 2:20 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I can’t think of a movie where Kat had noticeable chemistry with a female co-star, but aren’t Kat and Alia friends in real life? Are there any interviews with the two of them together? I’ve seen a bunch of Kat & Anushka interviews, and I wouldn’t pair them in a movie.
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Not sure if you saw this gossip or not, but Kat and Alia were friends in real life. And then Alia started dating Kat’s ex fiance Ranbir. They have both said variations of “of course we are all adults and it is fine”, but they haven’t been seen together since (that I know of).
I mean, how mature do you have to be to be okay with the ex who dumped you just before your wedding moving on to the 12 year younger friend that you mentored? Or be comfortable with your nice friend who you know used to be in a live-in relationship with your boyfriend?
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I guess I just saw the “of course we are all adults part” and thought oh, okay. In fact, I wouldn’t have even known they were friends except for those we are all adults interviews! Wishful thinking. I’m married to a close friend’s former boyfriend. We aren’t friends anymore, but I miss her. Maybe with all that history they would be great together on screen!
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I really want Alia and Ranbir to break up (for many reasons) and I also really want Kat to make a spectacular and happy marriage (also for many reasons). And I feel like if either of those things happen, Kat and Alia could be friends again and be spectacular onscreen together.
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 2:00 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I want to see Kajol and Parineeti Chopra together. They can both be funny and gorgeous at the same time. I can see sexy Kajol getting really annoyed with goofball new recruit Parineeti.
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Oh, that could be great!
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 1:55 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I have to give you lots of credit for putting the male as the naive new recruit in the female-male pairings. even if I would watch every single one of these, especially Kajol-Varun, wow that could be fun.
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Yes!!!! I was so depressed thinking of yet another older wise man and younger impressionable woman story, and then I thought “aha! I could flip the genders!” And then it becomes totally new.
On Sun, Oct 13, 2019 at 5:57 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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For the female female pairing, I would just do a gender flip on the current cast. Vaani & Anupriya in the Hrithik & Tiger roles, respectively. Though they aren’t as far apart in age IRL, vaani has a sort of hardened seasoned look to her that could pass for older, and anupriya carries an air of youthful and lovely while intelligent and competent, in all her movies. I dunno if she has any dancing or fighting skills, since she tends to take dramatic roles, but somehow I can easily picture her doing fight choreo and light stunt work.
Hrithik as the homme-fatale love interest, single dad with kid in boarding school, who dances cabaret nightly for a living, teaches dance on the beach to tourists as a side hustle, and has caught the eye of a female billionaire villain – all works perfectly without a single change in the script. The only change needed would be to put Tiger in Anupriya’s role. The role as written doesn’t play to his strengths, so we’d have to add in a fight scene and a dance number for him.
What I like about using these two ladies is that the gay, queer, or fluid subtext seems like a more natural fit for two fresher faces. It feels like they could start their own Bond-like franchise.
As for a more well known pairing, how about Bipasha and Kriti? This is a perfect comeback role for Bips, who isn’t really cut out for a disability of the week “married” solo lead film anyways. And Kriti has an earnestness and physicality similar to Tigers.
Finally, War feels like a new sub-genre for BW film, so I don’t wanna caste the usual suspects in it. But if I were to choose among your options, I would go with Kareena -Alia pairing, since it would have a similar anticipation to Hrithik-Tiger, i.e. two actors with similar competencies/strengths, where the younger one is known to have a *professional crush” on the older one irl. I also like Kajol as the older one, but her utter lack of chemistry with Kriti in Dilwale has me wondering if the problem lay with kajol, i.e. an inability to connect emotionally onscreen with a female costar, or if kriti wasn’t giving kajol enough to work with.
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Oh oh! Your Vaani/Anupriya idea is great, and would also lead to a bit of a flip in terms of spy movies. Tiger is the guy there to do the grunt work of fighting on the ground. The real power and importance is Vaani as chief analyst and Anupriya as her young mentee. It kind of fits better since a lot of what we saw Hrithik and Tiger do was more office work analysis than running and fighting stuff. Why should a superhero action star be the one to do boring observation of an accountant and his crush? Makes far more sense for the analyst to go out in the field and develop an asset.
I like Bips in the Hrithik part, but I want someone more obviously sexual and feminine in the younger role, so they are a match in all ways. Sara Ali Khan maybe? She has similar energy. Or Esha Gupta.
For Kajol, she had great chemistry with Rani, and with Kareena in K3G I thought, so I think Dilwale was just her struggling to get back to acting and find that chemistry again. If we give her loads of time and make clear that the mentor-mentee relationship is the heart of the film, I think she can pull it off.
On Mon, Oct 14, 2019 at 6:05 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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How about Norah Fatehi then in the recruit role? Equal sexuality and femininity to Bips, though much better dancer. But has the same insider- outsider vibe that Bips had.
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Oooo! That could be really good.
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I think varuntej would tower on all other actors due to height, so naivety might lose its shine. Also prabhas cant do 100% serious roles, at somepoint in the movie , he needs to be quirky and laidback, which cant be done in war.
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I think Prabhas and Varun Tej could work. Matching heights, which is sexy. And if Prabhas is a quirky intense type, good in the action scenes but also likes relaxing with video games. Invites Varun back to his tent for a one on one video game match kind of thing,
On Mon, Oct 14, 2019 at 10:31 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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