Month of SRK: The One Gift I Wish To Give Him

Final day, this is so sad. I’m going to start the ramp up to Jesus’s birthday tomorrow, but it’s not the same. Ultimately, he’s just not as big a part of my life.

For his birthday, I want to give back to Shahrukh what he has given me: Love.

And by giving him love, I will be taking it away from myself. Shahrukh’s constant restlessness, his emptiness, his need for something and everything, that is what drives him to put so much love out into the world, to try to somehow fill those holes in everyone else and feel a bit of their happiness in return. If Shahrukh is truly happy, if he finds real peace, that means he can just sit still for a while. That means he can just be, for himself, instead of for everyone else in the world.

Image result for shahrukh khan with fans

One of the earliest memories Shahrukh has is being 5 years old and sitting on the wall outside his building blowing kisses to the people passing by. His whole life, he has been giving love into the world.

He says that he became a movie star so his face would be big enough for his mother in heaven to see it. But I think it’s something else. I think he became a movie star so that all that love he had to give could be projected out of 20 foot screens, sent into televisions, and spread through the internet, so that his love could grow and grow until it filled the whole world. I think he became a movie star because he loves us. And I think he loves us, because he doesn’t truly love himself.

I want him to love himself. It’s his turn. Since I was 19 years old, I have felt loved and safe because of Shahrukh Khan. Whatever I became in life, where ever I went in the world, no matter what anyone else thought about me, Shahrukh loved me just as I am. It sounds like a crazy thing to say, that I believe this movie star who doesn’t even know I exist, loves me. But, he does. If we were to meet, he would say “there you are. We never met, but somehow I felt you in the world, and I loved you.” I believe he would say that to me, because I believe he would say that to any of his fans, to any person out there who is kind and human. And somehow, I don’t believe he is able to turn that great love back onto his own self. I am happy because I am loved by Shahrukh. Shahrukh is unhappy, because he is the one good person in the world who is not.

Selfishly, I want Shahrukh to keep loving me, to keep loving all of us. To keep blowing kisses into the air to fall down on us all. Generously, because I love him, I want him to feel his own love and step down off that wall and go inside the house and just be happy.

Image result for shahrukh khan birthday

And I also want that because I love all people too, all of humanity, and I think it might be good for humanity to have Shahrukh stop blowing kisses for a while, and start spreading ideas instead.

Shahrukh Khan is a great man. I firmly believe that. Not just charismatic, not just sexy, not just witty and kind and charming and talented, but Great. So far, he has wanted to give love to the world. And he has, and that is a wonderful thing. We have had 54 years of pure love from him. But he can give more.

I want Shahrukh to stop caring so much about doing the loving thing and care more about doing he right thing. I want him to fearlessly speak out his beliefs. I want him to write a book. I want him to found a university. I want him to use his power without restraint, without fear. I want him to stop thinking “will people still like me if I do this” and start thinking “will I still like myself if I don’t do this”. I want him to stop making himself small in order to make us feel comfortable. Climb back up on that wall, Shahrukh, and take it as your rightful place without apology. Love yourself, and see yourself the way I see you, the way millions of people around the world see you. One man who is, to us, Hope, Wisdom, Truth…and yes, Love.

Image result for shahrukh khan fans

10 thoughts on “Month of SRK: The One Gift I Wish To Give Him

  1. One of my favorite posts. I agree that he loves us as a surrogate for loving himself. He has needed us to love him and approve of him to fill the empty spaces in his heart.

    The primal wound of the separation from his parents in his formative years plus losing them permanently while still young has stalked him. I truly wish for his love to radiate back to himself – where he can truly feel what he’s been giving us and what we’ve been sending him.

    And I concur – with great power comes great responsibility. He’s so brilliant, a deep thinker, exceptionally well read. This world needs his energy and love as much as we fans do. Because at the end of the day, having the reach he has means he can still create entertainment but also can make real change. I want him to make dozens more films, but I also want him to make meaning for his life by being of service and truth in larger settings.


    • Imagine a Shahrukh with a happy childhood. He would be married to Gauri, living in Delhi, probably running her family business along with several projects he started on his own. A happy house, three kids who still live at home and commute to local colleges, a small group of close friends they have dinner with regularly, and a commitment to a few small local charities (an orphanage, or a hospital he and Gauri donate to and sit on the board). But the world would have lost so much!!!!! That need that drives him has brought him so incredibly far, and given so much new to the world.

      On Fri, Nov 1, 2019 at 1:06 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



  2. It’s again a very intense post, Margaret.

    My gift is something, I dreamt of since I got to know about some facts of his childhood…and the one remark he made about his parents not loving him enough (because, in his mind and feeling, he could not have been lovable enough) is what made him the kid he was, the young man, the husband, father, the entertainer and actor. Whatever his parents may have done or said in the years after they took him back, would never ever destroy that feeling. I often had hoped that his parents may have made clear, why they did what they did, but this remark is somehow an affirmation they did not.
    I always had wanted to get to know an answer to that and didn’t get in an interview or speech I read/heard and in my talk with him, there was neither enough time nor – with his people around – the setting that could lead to this question to him. So, this part of the Letterman interview was – for me – the most important one…and I’m very thankful for that.

    I know that I may be completely wrong and I also know that my gift may sound crazy but If my thinking is right, then there is only one possibility to ‘heal’ ShahRukh and make him shed the thoughts of ‘deserving/not deserving and please/not please others’…it has to be his parents who should give him the peace he needs…and for this, there are possibilities, something that has nothing to do with logic, but with everything else. If I could, I would gift him these possibilities (at whatever time).

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you are right, it is his parents that he needs to reconcile with. But I don’t think it is that impossible. People do it every day, find a way to forgive and let go and accept the things that happened in their past that they will never fully understand. Whether it is through religion, or talk therapy, or simply waking up one morning feeling fully loved and at peace, it can happen.

      On Fri, Nov 1, 2019 at 5:15 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



  3. Thank you for this write-up. It’s beautiful. I must say though that I don’t have these expectations of him. I don’t know if what he is doing now isn’t the right thing. It might be to him. He is wealthy and his influence is big but does that mean he is thus obligated to do something that might be perceived as more meaningful than what he is doing now? I don’t know. I hope he doesn’t feel he needs to be or do anything he doesn’t want to be. I also don’t feel that because he has been so good at what he does he now has a responsibility to anyone or anything.

    Also, doing the loving thing IS the right thing depending on a person’s viewpoint. I am pretty sure that he has inspired many humans to do good things and fuel their desire to succeed in whatever endeavor they pursue. That’s immensely powerful in itself and very much the right thing in my view.


    • I second this in the meaning that the love I’m giving him has no demands and doesn’t feel the need that he will do something quasi ‘for me’ or ‘for his fans’ or ‘for the world’.
      I just whish that everything he does, comes out of himself, of feelings he has, of decisions he makes, of the caring he has. It may not always make him happy, it may even make him sad and worried…I simply whish him the freedom of spirit to be able to keep to everything he values.


  4. Nice ideas in the initial post and comments. I’d like to give him the ability to quit smoking. It is one of the hardest things to do, as hard as quitting heroin. From experience, I know that he’d be amazed at how much better he feels, psychologically and physically, at how good food tastes and flowers smell. And his body could heal, maybe keeping him around and in good shape for a bit longer. It’s both a generous and a selfish gift.


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