Two Movies I Don’t Care About, WHY Aamir??? And WHY Madhavan???

Why do actors I like keep making movies I have no interest in? Why doesn’t the world listen to me and dance to my tunes at all times?

Aamir just announced the release date for his Forrest Gump remake, Laal Singh Chaddha. And there’s a feather. I can feel it now. The feather is going to be a recurring visual image, and at some point some older character is going to give a long speech over-emphasizing the meaning of the metaphor (“the feather is like life, we float through the air fragile but strong, remember that always Lil’ Aamir”). And then Aamir’s character will repeat and repeat and repeat the concept until it loses all meaning and you become so sick of the sight of a feather by the end of the 3 and a half hour movie that you just want to throw something at the screen.

Also, Aamir will dress like a chicken for 6 months in preparation for the role to fully understand the motivation of the feather.

Why can’t he make movies like this any more? No themes! No message! No stupid metaphors that are repeated so much they lose all meaning!

And then there’s Maddy. I saw the first posters for this movie and got all excited because it looked like a poetic romance between cellist Maddy and mute artist Anushka Shetty. But, nooooooooooooo. We don’t get romances any more, who wants to see two attractive talented actors fall in love? No no, clearly what we want is MORE HORROR MOVIES. Instead of Maddy and Anushka interacting, looks like we get ten minutes of Maddy, than he disappears and Anushka looks frightened and stressed for two hours. Plus, shadows and jump scares. Oh boy.

The way things are going I expect Shahrukh to announce another film in which he will use CGI to look not-like-himself, Ajay Devgan to announce another film in which he is an action hero who romances an actress 30 years younger than him, Hrithik to announce another movie in which his character is ugly and immobile, Salman to announce another movie in which he spends half the time giggling like he is 6 years old, and Akshay Kumar to announce another movie.

WHY CAN’T MARGARET EVER GET WHAT SHE WANTS?????

Advertisements

35 thoughts on “Two Movies I Don’t Care About, WHY Aamir??? And WHY Madhavan???

  1. I’m with you there. The problem is that once you do an “important” film, the audience puts you on pedestal and wants lessons being taught in all of them. Aamir’s career went into the self-important direction after Lagaan and especially after 3 Idiots. I don’t know why but LSC and the feather thing just gives me a Hirani hangover. Very diluted simplistic life lessons are going to be taught to the audience. (And they will lap it up) He will be hailed as the greatest filmmaker that has ever existed (never mind the director).

    Like

    • You wouldn’t think the image of a feather would feel so ominous, and yet I saw it and immediately thought “oh yeah, that kind of movie”

      Like

      • I didn’t like ToH because it was overhyped and over budget. And by being bad, probably single-handedly killed the big popcorn movie genre. But I would still rather watch it than PK any day of the week.

        Like

      • Yeah, I didn’t get it either. It wasn’t good but all of Akshay’s issue movies and all of Salman’s whatever he’s doings are undoubtedly way worse. I mean, I won’t even watch those, and I watched ToH. Not to mention abominations like Sanju.

        Like

      • Oh man, I hated TOH but maybe it was because I watched it home. It was so boring that I stopped paying attention and I don’t even remember how it ended.

        But mainly I hated it because I’m vain and I don’t like watching dirty grubby looking actors wearing rags and doing stupid fight scenes in dingy dark cave-like looking sets. It seemed like the actors probably smelled really bad while filming it. Why would I want to waste my time seeing this?

        Like

      • I was meh about ToH when I first watched it, and then I watched it with a group of friends at home and it was surprisingly enjoyable. Yes, there were many things I would change about it, but it was silly and fun and just plain happy. We all laughed, cringed, and rolled our eyes at the OTT antics but everyone also conceded that they had a good time.

        Like

  2. “Aamir will dress like a chicken for 6 months in preparation for the role to fully understand the motivation of the feather.” Margaret, you crack me up! I love snarky Margaret posts.

    Sorry I saw this post after I already commented on the Wednesday post. I agree with Alisa on Mann and Forrest Gump. I did not like Mann! I want Aamir in silly, frivolous, romantic, action movies, preferably with Juhi. Also, I HATED Forrest Gump. I definitely do NOT want to watch a Hindi remake of it. The only time I enjoy a feather motif is if Kareena and Hrithik are seductively romancing it. On that note, I am going to go watch Jab Dil Mile to cheer myself up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Come to think of it, there’ve been quite a few seductive feather love scenes. New plan! What if this movie is Forrest Gump, but sexy? Like, our hero journeys through the history of India seducing women as he goes?

      Like

      • I would normally love your idea but do we want to see an old Aamir seducing women? If that was Hrithik, I would be so on board!

        Oh oh! Any interest in doing a post on movies with seductive feather love scenes that we should all watch?

        Like

        • Of course I am interested in that! But I don’t think I have a full knowledge of every feather scene. Maybe I just put up the top three and ask other folks to fill in what I am missing?

          Like

          • Gah! What did he do to his face?!?!?! Is he going the way of Dev Anand? There’s a sort of stretched Joker like look to his smile. Yes? No? Is it just me?

            On Wed, Nov 6, 2019 at 3:38 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

            >

            Like

          • No, it is NOT just you. It is so creepy. At first, I almost thought it was weird CGI but I think it is just a combination of a ton of botox, fake tan, and weird dental stuff. IRL Akshay Kumar’s teeth are not white, even, or straight. Also, I feel like the botox makes him look like he has loose skin in weird places because everywhere else it is overly tight. It is all soo weird and so icky. Why did anyone think this was a good idea?!

            Also, I really like Kriti. She is ambitious and self-made and she really wants to help her sister succeed. And I really hope Nupur does find success. So, it is making me really really sad to watch it and hate it so much.

            Like

          • Yes! That is it exactly! I was watching it wondering why his cheeks and jawline looked so weird, but it’s the opposite, they are the normal bits, it is the rest of his face that is all botoxed and stretched.

            On Wed, Nov 6, 2019 at 3:58 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

            >

            Like

  3. Is it my impression or Nishabdam trailer isn’t good? Apart of being horror and not romance, I find it uninteresting. Some cut up not scary scenes made scary thanks to BGM. Maybe because it’s only Birthday teaser? If not Maddy I would definitely avoid this film.

    Aamir’s Forest Gump – I decided to pretend this movie doesn’t exist.

    Like

  4. “Salman to announce another movie in which he spends half the time giggling like he is 6 years old”
    Lol! This line is exactly how I feel about the Dabangg movies 🙂

    By the way, who’s directing Laal Singh Chaddha?

    Ugh, I hate horror movies but I’m not surprised that Anushka’s new movie is one of them. I feel like she really enjoy’s doing them or that’s what she gets offered a lot ever since Arundhati.

    Like

    • Director of Laal Singh looks to be the guy from Secret Superstar, who has worked with Aamir’s film company for years. So could be a guy who worked his way up to directing, or could be a guy under Aamir’s thumb who will do whatever he wants.

      On Wed, Nov 6, 2019 at 5:58 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.