I’m having a silly silly day. It’s overcast again, which makes me depressed and weird, plus I didn’t get any sleep, plus the people of the world just insist on doing silly things today! It’s not my fault, the celebrities are making me do this!
Thank you Filmikudhi! And also, NO THANK YOU! This video that she sent makes Akshay look really disturbingly weird, right? Like a skull come to life with skin bags stuck on it. And then it touches the humans and it’s just creepy and disturbing and WRONG. Although I do like the natural grey in his hair.
What is your theory? Why is this so disturbing? CGI, plastic surgery, botox, just Akshay weirdness?
In other news, I figured out how to make Aamir’s stupid feather promo exciting! What if we are all leaping to conclusions by assuming the feather will be some aggressive visual metaphor for the Message of the film? What if, instead, the feather means what it traditionally means in Hindi film…sexy times!
Here is what I mean:
Forget Forrest Gump, Laal Singh Chaddha can be about Aamir traveling through Indian history having sexytimes with feathers and many man women. Kind of midnight cowboy or Tom Jones, but happier. And not depressing serious man-child Aamir, but naughty bad boy Aamir like in Thugs of Hindostan (without the struggling accent or mustache) or Dil Chahta Hai or Mann. He has feather sex with his first love, than loses her when she gets married, starts traveling India to forget, has feather sex with many other women representing Modern India (low caste farm woman, troubled socialite in Bombay, NGO worker trying to create change, female athlete, etc.). And then finally finds his first love working at a Feather Market (surely they exist?) now widowed, and he reunites with her. It wouldn’t be a good movie, but I would rather watch it than a desi Forrest Gump with a feather metaphor for Life.
What do you think? Does Akshay look weird or am I imagining it?
And would you rather watch Aamir have feather sex for 3 hours, or teach us Feather Life Lessons for 3 hours?