Why Does Akshay Look Weird in This Video? And I Have a Better Way to Use the Feather Theme for Aamir!!!

I’m having a silly silly day. It’s overcast again, which makes me depressed and weird, plus I didn’t get any sleep, plus the people of the world just insist on doing silly things today! It’s not my fault, the celebrities are making me do this!

Thank you Filmikudhi! And also, NO THANK YOU! This video that she sent makes Akshay look really disturbingly weird, right? Like a skull come to life with skin bags stuck on it. And then it touches the humans and it’s just creepy and disturbing and WRONG. Although I do like the natural grey in his hair.

What is your theory? Why is this so disturbing? CGI, plastic surgery, botox, just Akshay weirdness?

In other news, I figured out how to make Aamir’s stupid feather promo exciting! What if we are all leaping to conclusions by assuming the feather will be some aggressive visual metaphor for the Message of the film? What if, instead, the feather means what it traditionally means in Hindi film…sexy times!

Here is what I mean:

Forget Forrest Gump, Laal Singh Chaddha can be about Aamir traveling through Indian history having sexytimes with feathers and many man women. Kind of midnight cowboy or Tom Jones, but happier. And not depressing serious man-child Aamir, but naughty bad boy Aamir like in Thugs of Hindostan (without the struggling accent or mustache) or Dil Chahta Hai or Mann. He has feather sex with his first love, than loses her when she gets married, starts traveling India to forget, has feather sex with many other women representing Modern India (low caste farm woman, troubled socialite in Bombay, NGO worker trying to create change, female athlete, etc.). And then finally finds his first love working at a Feather Market (surely they exist?) now widowed, and he reunites with her. It wouldn’t be a good movie, but I would rather watch it than a desi Forrest Gump with a feather metaphor for Life.

What do you think? Does Akshay look weird or am I imagining it?

And would you rather watch Aamir have feather sex for 3 hours, or teach us Feather Life Lessons for 3 hours?

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24 thoughts on “Why Does Akshay Look Weird in This Video? And I Have a Better Way to Use the Feather Theme for Aamir!!!

  1. Akshay may just not be aging as well as his fellow contemporaries, ie the three Khans. He does look older than he is but the skin looks like it has been smoothed. Or, he might be losing too much fat in his face which is why he looks so much older.

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    • Maybe what is really throwing me is that usually Akshay looks much better than this, I would have said he was the one aging most gracefully. If I didn’t have context, this wouldn’t look as strange to me.

      On Wed, Nov 6, 2019 at 5:12 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • I don’t mind Akshay on a case by case basis. Sometimes I find him shockingly handsome, sometimes jus boring. But this is the first time I’ve been actually disturbed.

      On Wed, Nov 6, 2019 at 7:19 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • I was fine with him when he was young, but now he’s old I literally cannot stand to look at his face either. The effects of plastic surgery are really, really off, and these new caps or implants he got have the look of dentures to me which makes it all worse somehow.

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  2. His face looks like it’s about to come unstuck and slip off his skull like an effect in Beetlejuice and his teeth look like dentures. I already found him impossible to look at but this is somehow even worse. Even so, I would keep this kind of thought to myself if he didn’t insist on being paired as a romantic hero with such young women. If you want to play you gotta pay, Kumar!

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    • Agree! If he moved on to character roles, or even was just an over the top action type, his looks wouldn’t matter. But if we are supposed to enjoy seeing him paired with an attractive young woman, he has to work a little harder at it!

      On Thu, Nov 7, 2019 at 2:38 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. Akshay does look strange but then, I have mostly been avoiding looking at him for a while, so not sure if this is a gradual change or sudden. It looks like a combination of ageing and skin tightening (maybe?). After a certain age, you don’t have the same fat distribution in the face and cosmetic procedures often make it look like skin has been stretched over bones. Other people his own age don’t look like this probably because their skin is not so tight. I noticed in the Letterman interview that Shahrukh was definitely showing some wrinkles (in a good way) and I think in his movies those are hidden by makeup instead of cosmetic procedures. Salman and Aamir have always had a bit more of a chubby face than Akshay, so maybe they have a few years before they start looking weird. Though I do find Salman’s very smooth face a bit disturbing.

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    • I’m almost certain Aamir had a face lift after Fanaa. His face was sagging so much and then there was a dramatic change. Maybe he had it done early enough that it didn’t end up causing the skin issues that Akshay has.

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      • You can also just do it well, subtle so it looks like you are aging gracefully. I keep picturing the hair salon experience of the people who trust their hair dressers and let them use their expertise, versus the ones who come in with a photo and say “do whatever you have to do to make me look like this”. I imagine Akshay might have been more the second type, while Aamir and others were the first and ended up with a small perfect subtle change.

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  4. If I wouldn’t know Akshay’s face without CGI, I may not think “Oh noooo!”. I don’t like Salman neither to be toooo smoothe (I would accept for a flashback though)…and I intensely hope that ShahRukh is done with less than 40 years old… I like this picture, btw.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EG3JvBTVUAAHrhe?format=jpg&name=medium

    Aamir: We’ll see how inventive he may be…until now, I’m not interested, not even if it turns out that the cameo-rumours about ShahRukh are right.

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    • But Shahrukh was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot in Tubelight! That one 5 minute cameo was worth my ticket price so far as I am concerned. I am willing to see Laal Singh on the off chance of similar hottitude.

      On Thu, Nov 7, 2019 at 8:52 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • He was so hot in Raees, JHMS, and even the Tubelight cameo. And then snatched it all away in Zero. Why, Zero, why? I still don’t understand why this movie had to exist. No redeeming factors whatsoever!!

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  5. Akshay has looked creepy for a long time now. He has loose crepey skin like a grandpa on his neck and chest while his face looks like it has skin stretched over a skeleton. He is going to end up looking like Dev Anand and convince himself that he is evergreen and forever young.

    I heard someone call him Gums McGee once and now I can’t get it out of my head. That skin tightening along with the huge gums with the denture looking too-perfect, too-white teeth… with the grandpa skin on his neck and chest.. so so so creepy.

    He doesn’t look like a confident sexy older man. He looks like a desperate fool trying hard to look young to score young girls.

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    • Except, often in his real life appearances I see that sexy older man. I wonder why he thinks he has to keep playing young on screen? Come to think of it, he played older in both Gold and Airlift and those were two of my favorite performances and movies from him in recent years.

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  6. You are welcome! It’s the month of Halloween; I had to show you something scary! In the words of Yashvhardhan Raichand: it’s parampara, Margaret!

    Like

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