Monday Morning Questions: What Do You Want to Ask Me 9 Days Before Christmas and 4 Days Before Dabangg 3 and 1 Day Before John Abraham’s Birthday?

Happy Monday! I have the annual quilting potluck and white elephant gift exchange tonight, and I have no idea what food to bring. Oh well, this is what grocery store deli sections are for.

This is where you can ask me anything at all like what I think of your favorite actor, if I have seen a particular movie, or why bride’s wear red. Anything! Just keep coming back to this post all week as you think of new questions, until it is next week and I put up another post.

Now, question for you! Kind of a silly one, but Christmas prep is exhausting me: It’s John Abraham’s birthday tomorrow! Do you prefer young John or old John?

This:

Image result for john abraham shirtless jeans

Or this:

Related image

See, I’m torn, because I like the soft natural body of Young John, but I like the confident eyes at the camera and smile of Old John. I need help! You decide!

48 thoughts on “Monday Morning Questions: What Do You Want to Ask Me 9 Days Before Christmas and 4 Days Before Dabangg 3 and 1 Day Before John Abraham’s Birthday?

  1. Old John for sure, I love his swag and the salt and pepper in his beard is really working for him.

    Also, I thought this interview with him was really interesting: https://www.dailypioneer.com/2019/entertainment/john-abraham-on-using-his-physicality-in–subversive–way.html

    I still haven’t put up my Christmas decorations because of being ill so that has to get done this week along with some other chores that got pushed back. It’s going to be hectic for the next couple of weeks, we’ll see if I continue posting exactly 38 comments!

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    • I am going to remind you again that I have decorated my whole house, AND wrapped and mailed all my presents. I have a spinster aunt who always mailed her Christmas cards so they arrived exactly the day after Thanksgiving and I used to make fun of her, but now I kind of want that to be Life Goal. I am going to do Christmas better and more efficiently than everyone else! This shall be my crowning glory that they put on my gravestone, “all her gifts were wrapped and mailed before December 15th every year”.

      Anyway, I think I want Old John’s head (both face and brain) but grafted onto Young John’s body. Old John’s muscles are just too terrifying for me.

      On Mon, Dec 16, 2019 at 10:13 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • No, although I did know it existed. It released at Berlin I think and made a splash, people were very excited. Than it had an odd staggered release, in India and America not at the same time. And finally hit Amazon suuuuuuuuuuper fast. I think it is one of the first “main purpose is to go on Amazon but we are pretending we care about theatrical release” films in India. Anyway, it got really good reviews, especially for Sanya.

          On Mon, Dec 16, 2019 at 1:13 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • I watched Photograph few weeks ago, and really liked it. Sanya Malhotra was great and now I’m her fan and wish she will rule bollywood soon.

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  2. Its this time of year that I have to admit instead of feeling left out of Christmas, I do feel a bit relieved that I have only a few gifts to think about….
    But my question is: this notion that “War” is in fact an overtly gay romance…I can’t imagine that is how it is being discussed in India. Is this just a twitter meme notion, or are serious people discussing it? As far as outward manifestations go and those are not on any level reliable as we all anecdotally know, Tiger manifests as gay. I’ve had my notions about Hrithik as well for a while. Its so impossible in India AND as a movie star to come out that I understand why no one would. Look, Karan has all but said it but he has NOT actually said it. But this overt and matter of fact discussion about the “love scenes” in War have me culturally confused.

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    • I think this is where we need to start thinking about 2 Indias. There is the English Internet India, which is cross-national (overseas students, NRIs settled abroad, and folks still back home), and reflects only the very top of society. And in that community, yes, War is very much discussed as a gay romance. Not everyone is agreeing with that interpretation, but at least they are aware of it. I think every English language review mentioned that readings, including from India based sources. And the general Indian film twitter is all atwitter about it.

      On the other hand, there is the other India, which is not on the English Language internet and I have no idea what they think about this movie, if they think anything at all.

      For Tiger and Hrithik as people, I’ve never read them as necessarily gay. Not necessarily NOT gay either, but to me I see them as men living in a very heteronormative culture where it is expected for men to have relationships with woman, and at the same time in a profession where the male body is constantly put on display in a sexual way. So both Tiger and Hrithik have long term relationships with women, and onscreen they are overtly sexualized. Could be the real life relationships are fake and the onscreen image is where they express themselves, could be the real life relationships are real and the onscreen image is just to please the fans.

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        • Oh, I think definitely option 3, with a little bit of 2. Mostly just an entertaining fun piece of work on its own, with a little taste of the mood of the film, but no plot details. Rajinikanth is a cop, Suniel is evil, we have nothing else to go on.

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  3. Both your Albie Dog post and your response to Alisa made me laugh out loud this morning. Am I evil for liking young John better? His young “natural” body isn’t that natural, but it is less intimidating. Party food: I made banana bread for my kid’s school function last week. Two loaves. I was so proud of myself I took more bananas out of the freezer to make more loaves for our neighbors. It was a hectic day and when we got to the school my 11 year old realized he couldn’t find his shoes and started throwing everything around looking for them. Including the whole plate of sliced banana bread. I actually started crying. Meanwhile my 5 year old keeps finding pieces of thrown banana bread around the car and is having a ball eating them before I can take them away from him. And those bananas I took out of the fridge, they are still there. Last night my spouse asked me if I was fermenting bananas on purpose. I wonder how much banana bread a person with John Abram’s body gets to eat?

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    • I am so sorry about your Christmas tragedy! That really is the worst. I ended up buying a packaged dessert, which should be good, but more importantly is well packed so I don’t have to worry as much. Unless I decide to transfer it to a regular container and try to fool people into thinking I made it. But probably not worth it.

      I think Current John doesn’t get to eat anything but protein shakes and steriods. But Young John probably got to have a slice of banana bread a day and enjoy himself.

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  4. Old John without doubt because he was doing movies like Paap and Madhoshi and not those patriotic stuff he does now (and yes I think Madhoshi >>>>>>>>>>>> Dishoom)

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    • Wait, you mean “olden times John” not “John at an older stage of life”, right? So your “old John” is really “Young John”?

      Shall we start a petition to have John return to his man-meat eye candy roots? Tying it back to your previous comment, perhaps as the romantic tragic older hero opposite Sanya Malhotra? Maybe he is dying of cancer and teaches her to live without fear?

      On Mon, Dec 16, 2019 at 2:48 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Oh yes, it should be “older times John”.

        No cancer stories please because I have health anxiety. But how about John playing a beautiful man who, for some reason must return to school or do some exams and needs help. Smart but sad and shy Sanya (almost the same character she played in Photograph) helps him and they fall in love. She starts to belive in herself thanks to him (like Juhi in Aaina). But then TRAGEDY, he dies (lets say he did the same work SRK did in JTHJ, but worse because one of the bombs exploded).

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        • I don’t know, I feel like bomb stuff swings it back towards patriotism. What if we make it “happy” and he is only crippled? Sad and shy Sanya is his school assigned tutor, he is going back to school after being an athlete for years, but what he doesn’t tell her is that he has some kind of mysterious sports injury which will make him progressively lose the ability to walk. Let’s say Sanya is an education major, she wants to work with little kids because she isn’t afraid of them, but for some credit thing she has to work in the tutoring center. She is shy and scared of John, but then her mentor encourages her to see him as just like her little kids, eager to learn and afraid of failure. She gives him adorable little “good job!” stickers and stuff, and he starts to fall in love with her. He convinces her to go out to dinner with him if he passes his test, gives her a magical wonderful evening, and then disappears, but keeps sending her mysterious little challenges like “take a dance class!” and “say ‘hi’ to a stranger!” until her whole life is transformed. Her new colleague at work (Arjun K. in cameo) proposes, but she has a last minute realization that she truly loves John and has to speak to him one more time before she marries anyone else. She tracks him down and learns he is now married and living a happy life teaching adorable children in a Kerala village school. But, after she sadly leaves wiping a tear from her eyes, we learn HE’S CRIPPLED!!!!! He quit sports when the doctor told him he had a progressive injury, and planned to kill himself once his legs started to go, just went back to school to finish his education degree to cover up his plans from his family. But just when he had turned away from life, she brought him back. He decided to give her a happy life and then disappear before she could tie herself to his sad self. The woman she thought was his wife is actually his sister, she encouraged him to go back to school in the first place and now is encouraging him to go after Sanya and let her decide for herself. And then I don’t know all the details, but it all comes out in the most dramatic possible way at Sanya’s wedding to Arjun K. and it ends with Sanya pushing John’s wheelchair around the fire while we all sob.

          Also, question, sex scene yes or no? I don’t want to turn my back on a John A. sex scene but I’m not sure where to fit it in.

          On Mon, Dec 16, 2019 at 3:19 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • First: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS STORY. It’s like Sanam Teri Kasam and Rathri Mazha (my first malayalam movie) had a love child.
            Second: You know what would be cool? Almost sex scene. And right after John disappeares.

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          • Maybe Sanya has never felt desirable, so John promises to make her feel beautiful if she trusts him, and buys her a new dress and helps her do her hair, and then takes her out dancing. And she orders an alcoholic drink while he is away from the table (secretly getting a call from his doctor confirming the tests show no improvement, THE TRAGEDY) and gets a little tipsy before he can stop her. He takes her back to her apartment, like a gentleman, and she sadly talks about how he is the first visitor she has every had, and then asks him to kiss her because she’s never been kissed. He says “no”, she thinks it is because she is ugly and unlovable, and he is trapped into kissing her for real just to prove she is desirable. And then they almost have sex, but she says something like “you are so strong” and it reminds him that in reality he is weak WEAK and his body is failing him and she deserves better, so he rushes out.

            The next morning, Sanya finds a single rose and a lovely note outside her door, all about how she is so beautiful he almost forgot his vows, but for Reasons they can’t be together, and she should move on to someone more deserving. Her horrible sister can come after that, Sanya can gently start to confess her feelings for John, and Horrible Sister can tell her all about how it was a lucky escape, John is just an uncaring shallow sports playboy, probably was stringing along dozens of girls at the same time, but meanwhile Arjun K. is a nice respectable boy who is presenting a nice respectable proposal. Sanya, conflicted, will ignore her own heart and agree to the Arjun K. engagement until the last minute whens he decides she has to track down John, etc. etc.

            Question: is it better to have Sanya push the wheelchair around the matrimonial fire, or to have Sanya ride in his lap while John pushes it? Or both, alternating circuits?

            On Tue, Dec 17, 2019 at 8:10 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I prefer her sitting on his knees. And instead of Arjun I would hire Unni (poor guy needs work and he is the best in romantic gazing)

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          • Okay, I will agree to Unni. And we can make Sanya southern, which is why she is all alone in Bombay. Some sad backstory about how she loved her village but had to leave it because her father lost all their money, which permanently damaged her ability to feel free and happy and trusting. Oh oh! Her beloved father KILLED HIMSELF!!!! She was left a poor relation, constantly made to feel unwanted and guilty, took the first chance to escape her family, and now her horrible cousin-sister is encouraging this engagement to someone the family wants and she feels obligated to go along with it, even though she really loves John.

            Do we need to subtly indicate that John can’t walk any more, but can perform his husbandly duties? I just feel like it’s too sad to have the “almost” love scene and then realize that was their only chance. Maybe something like his sister trying to convince him to go after Sanya because the doctor said he could “still have children”?

            On Tue, Dec 17, 2019 at 9:43 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • LOL “He can’t walk but can perform his duties” is so “La que no podia amar”, my most favourite telenovela ever! It’s about a man, owner of a hacienda, once healthy and strong, now bitter and on the wheelchair. A young nurse is hired to take care of him. Of course at the beginning they argue all the time, but later fall in love, because SURPRISE he is sexy, very intelligent and has heart of gold( lost his legs while saving yong boy’s life). A lot of things happen and finally after 102 episodes they have sex, to confirm that he is able to make her happy (yes, I still remember exactly which episode it was because it was the most romantic sex scene ever).

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          • And I just turned it into a full-fledged fanfic on the newest post. Lots of dramatic secrets.

            On Tue, Dec 17, 2019 at 2:30 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  5. I don’t find John very attractive in general, but if I had to pick, it would be Older John because at least he doesn’t have the stringy long hair anymore and overly oiled skin. Personally, I never want to see a guy and think “Ooh I could fry some puris on those abs.”

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  6. I’ll go with old John. Based on the pictures – don’t think I’ve seen a single movie where he plays an important role. Any you would recommend?

    Here’s a question that I was wondering about reading your heroine 101s: I assume Rani and Anushka, and Aish and Kareena for that matter, are thought to have married well? Does it go the other way too? Are Adi and Abhishek and Saif and Virat thought to have married well? If so, is it because their wives are gorgeous or other factors too? And where would Deepika and Ranveer fit in?

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    • Paap is amazing, if you can find it. Otherwise, Jhoothi Hi Sahi is super cute (feels like a 4 Weddings/Notting Hill/Love Actually kind of movie, if you like those). Dostana is a kick of course. Dishoom is a blast (although Angie hated it). And Salaam-E-Ishq is actually directly inspired by Love Actually and has the same unevenness between stories, but the John-Vidya love story is great (they eloped, then she gets amnesia and forgets him and he has to win her away from her family all over again).

      I think yes, all of those people would be considered to have married well from both sides. Except for Aish, there is just no comparison between her and marrying a Bachchan. But Kareena is from THE Kapoors, while Saif is royalty and related to Tagore, so that’s kind of even. Virat is the biggest of the big, but his career was more time limited than Anushka’s. Rani and Adi, not sure about that one. She’s pretty and glamorous and so on. But the Chopra’s are sooooo beloved, it feels like kind of a “no girl is good enough for Yashji’s son” kind of thing.

      On Tue, Dec 17, 2019 at 10:14 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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