12 Days of Christmas, Indian Film Style!!!!

Time to write our wish list for Santa! And he can give us anything he wants, because he is SANTA! Govinda come back? SRKajol reunion? Sid-Alia Break-Up? It could all happen!

Here is my wish list:

One SRKajol reunion with a good director

Image result for srkajol

Two Karisma Kapoor Kome Back Films. She is so cute and bubbly! And has so much talent left to give. I want her to have the kind of career resurgence Tabu is enjoying, and I think two really good roles could do it.

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3 Break-Ups: Alia-Ranbir (she can do so much better!), PC-Nick (the gossipy DRAMA!), Ayan-Ranbir (he can do better too, and I think his Ranbir obsession is holding him back artistically)

Image result for ayan ranbir

4 Engagements: Varun-Natasha (I’m a sucker for pre-fame girlfriend romances), Rajkummar-Patralakha (see above!), Arjun Kapoor-Malaika Arora (the DRAMA, and also the sweet unexpected pairing), Salman-Anyone (It would just be SUCH a big story)

Image result for varun natasha

5 New Couples: Kat-Anyone (she deserves love!), Sid M-Alia Reunion (Sid works so hard and seems like he would be a great supportive BF), Hrithik-Anyone (it’s been long enough Hrithik, start dating someone! We need gossip!), Sara Ali Khan-Kartik Aaryan (I’ve decided I like it, they are both smart and unconventional and their joint Koffee appearance would be amazing), Karan Johar-Ayan Mukherjee (why not? And it would distract Ayan from Ranbir)

Image result for karan johar ayan mukherjee

6 Onscreen Jodi Reunions: Hrithik-Tiger (best new couple of 2019), Varun-Alia (I want to see them with a new producer), Kareena-Hrithik (surely the rumors are dead enough now that they can reunite, and I want to see their mature chemistry!), Akshay-Saif (they need to defend their Best Couple crown from H-T), Hrithik-Kat (After rewatching ZNMD, I want more!), Prabhas-Anushka (obvious reasons)

Image result for kareena hrithik

7 New Jodis: Shahrukh-Tabu, Juhi-Madhavan, Anil Kapoor-Ratna Pathak, Ranveer Singh-Radhike Apte, Aamir-Vidya Balan, Kareena Kapoor-Katrina Kaif, Sonakshi-Ayushmann Khurrana

Image result for shahrukh tabu

8 Director-Star Reunions: Zoya Akhtar-Hrithik Roshan, Reema Kagti-Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan-Aditya Chopra, Vikramaditya Motwane-Sonakshi Sinha, Salman Khan-David Dhawan, Farhan Akhtar-Shahrukh Khan, Karan Johar-Sid M, Farah Khan-Abhishek Bachchan

Image result for abhishek happy new year

9 Film Plots: Middle-aged love story between widows, Masala action film with a female cop lead, lesbian love story, male-male love story, love story between two divorced single parents, Masala heist film with a female lead, love story at a retirement home between residents, children’s movie with child leads, sex comedy with female lead

Image result for tabu police uniform

10 Filming Locations: Chicago (I want more beautiful images of my city!), Hawaii (how have they not filmed there yet?), Portland OR (I just want Portland hipsters dealing with Indian film folk), Alaska (a whole movie set there! So many coats!), Switzerland (let’s go old school!), Kerala (so pretty! I want a Hindi film all there), Japan (so far as I know there haven’t been any films there yet, and I want to see it), Iceland (Whole movie set there! Do it, Hindi film!), Sweden (to my knowledge, never used as much as it could be), Cleveland OH (I just want one Indian film in a basic boring American city)

11 Food Items to Lovingly Show so I learn How to Make Them: Laddoo, Raasmalai, Biryani, Pakora, Jalabi, Papad, carrot halwa, vada paav, kheer, dosa, Those Little Orange Savory Fried Things

Image result for orange indian snacks

12 Product Placements I Miss: Tang, Pringles, Tilda Basmati, Lays, Nike, Nescafe, Pizza Hut, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, ICICI Bank, McDonalds, Horlicks

Image result for horlicks shahrukh

Okay, Which Day is Your Most Wanted?

41 thoughts on “12 Days of Christmas, Indian Film Style!!!!

  1. Aamir-Vidya would be AMAZING, especially if directed by Reema.

    Is it mean that I want Ranbir to appear publicly drunk and then go to rehab? The gossip would be insane. Also, it just occurred to me that poor Alia is the adult child of an alcoholic, would explain so much about her relationship with this fuckboi.

    Inspired by War and Bharat: I want more big name, big budget films that are actually subversive of societal norms but in a way that goes down easy for a mainstream crowd. Like Kat being a badass unmarried partner to Salman and of course Tiger-Hrithik manlove.

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    • And Ranbir is ALSO the adult child of an alcoholic. What a perfect couple! To be fair to Mahesh, he was sober since before Alia was born. But his wife and older children would still remember life with a drunk father, and Pooja’s an alcoholic too and just got sober a couple years ago, so it was definitely in the air when Alia was growing up.

      Along the same lines as your wishes, what I want is a film that takes the Ki and Ka set-up and does it as though it isn’t a big deal. So the wife works and the husband stays home, so what?

      Oh, and how about this? Aamir-Vidya, Reema directed, Shabana Azmi in a main role?

      On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 1:38 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • And they are SO GOOD! They are my go to when I am meeting someone for chat.

      I suspect they are one of those things that is very easy to make so long as you have many hours of time and a deep fat fryer?

      On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 1:43 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • They are! We always travel with them! They are so delicious with coffee or tea and anytime we need a quick snack. My mom made them from scratch when we were young but they are so cheap to buy that we never make them anymore.

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        • I want a movie with Hrithik-Kareena and would love an action film with Kareena and Katrina.

          Also, please Santa, no more sad historical films!!! If you are going to gift me with a historial, I want happy happy romance with very pretty people!

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          • Doesn’t it feel like Kareena-Katrina would be awesome together? Maybe a cops and robbers thing with Katrina as the damaged thief who never knew love and Kareena as the by the book cop chasing her, but then they fall in love (friend-love or love-love, I’m fine either way)?

            I am so sick of historicals. If Santa gives us any in 2020, I’m boycotting!

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 1:57 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Cops and robbers would be perfect. Katrina and Kareena are begrudgingly forced to work together and end up forming an amazing bond while taking down bad people. I know it is not original but I still want to see this movie!

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          • They get sloppy drunk together and share stories of their first love, they have a buddy song pledging their undying friendship, they fake a break up in order to trick the Bad People and then unite in the end….

            Oh oh! Can it be like Zanjeer where Kareena earns Katrina’s respect by challenging her to a fist fight, out of uniform?

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 2:08 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • YES!!! I love the Zanjeer idea. I really don’t want this movie to be too original. I just want masala action, two women using their charm and their power to kick ass, and happy ending.

            Oh oh maybe if we add one more person we can have an Indian Charlie’s Angels.

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          • Taapsee? And their hapless male assistant can be John Abraham (surprisingly good at comedy, and why are women always eye candy?).

            Maybe a “getting the gang together” origin story? Taapsee is a super spy who never gets good missions, Kareena is a super cop who never gets to head the task force, and Katrina is a super thief who always has to hand her take off to her boyfriend? They all converge on the same MacGuffin only for Charlie’s voice (Shahrukh) to reveal it was all a set-up so he can recruit them for a one time only mission and then they can go back to their regular lives. The three of them fight (both verbally and physically), then go out and get drunk and make friends, and finally go on the first mission (Katrina undercover at a dance club, Taapsee as a computer company secretary, and Kareena as the new owner of the dance club) and do so well they decide to make the deal permanent and quit their other jobs. Kat breaks up with her horrible boyfriend, Kareena kisses her supportive best friend ex-cop partner (now that they are no longer colleagues, she can do that), and Taapsee invites the nice computer nerd who helped her out for a drink. Oh, and they all get an apartment together after telling off the pushy bossy older relatives they used to live with.

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 2:15 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Taapsee’s cute computer nerd, Rajkummar? Obviously he will be captured and tied up and threatened at some point, and she will swing in and save him while he has stars in his eyes and is all “my heroine!”

            Kareena’s best-friend-but-it-can’t-be-more-because-they-are-partners, Hrithik? Arjun R.? Vidyut Jammwal? They work like a fine machine in action sequences, go out for beers and talking about Life after work, and after Kareena quits her job, she sees him in the lobby and impulsively grabs him and gives him a hot hot kiss.

            Katrina’s jerk boyfriend, Abhishek? I just feel like he would do a really good job with that kind of over the top jerkiness.

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 2:26 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I am fine with Rajkummar or Sid. I just finished Baar Baar so I am all about a hot nerdy Sid.

            Kareena and Hirthik… ummm hell yes!

            Katrina’s jerk boyfriend – umm Ranbir (perfect role and he just has to play himself) and she breaks up with him and gets together with Vicky Kaushal?

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          • I think we are no moving on to wish #5, “5 new couples” in real life!

            Maybe we sell it to Ranbir as “you are making a statement by being in a female lead film, but really it’s all about your character’s Man Pain. In all your scenes with Kat, just keep focusing on your own Man Pain”. And then his performance will be exactly what we want and he will still think he is playing the hero!

            Could Vicky be a sketchy scary dangerous guy who hangs around the dance club and threatens Kareena? But he also lowkey notices Katrina dancing, and on his way out takes care of a couple guys who are misbehaving with her? He is one of their suspects, but in the end they clear him (it was actually a developer who wanted to tear down the club, not Vicky’s mob bosses who were laundering money through Taapsee’s computer company). And then when Katrina and the other two are moving in to their new apartment, he shows up on their doorstep because he mysteriously always knows everything including their new address, and asks Kat to go out for coffee with him…in Goa! And the other two girls encourage her to try something new.

            And in the sequel/Netflix mini-series, he can be one of their regular resources. Heck, they all are! Rajkummar does hacking for them, Hrithik is their inside man with the police department, and Vicky is their scary connection for illegal stuff. But no marriages, just three happy single girls living together with supportive fulfilling relationships with long term boyfriends.

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 2:43 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I am all in on this movie! Except for no male mentor Charlie type please. Shah Rukh will turn it down and it will go to Akshay and then it will become an Akshay movie and everything wonderful will be ruined.

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          • Alisa just mentioned Neena Gupta on another comment, maybe she plays Charlie’s Voice? And we find out at the end that she is the widow of a retired Hero Cop who was killed as part of the whole dance bar scam, she knows everything about police work and stuff thanks to living with her husband all those years, and knows that there are always skilled women being under-utilized that she can hire. John Abraham was her husband’s assistant/their surrogate son all those years.

            Oh oh! We can have a flashback to young Neena dreaming of being a police officer and compromising by marrying a man who wants to be a police officer, but he swears to always bring his work home and let her be involved. Maybe Sara Ali Khan and Sid M?

            On Tue, Dec 24, 2019 at 5:03 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Oh oh! Ratna’s niece Sanah Kapoor! She can play young Ratna.

            On Tue, Dec 24, 2019 at 1:04 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • And they keep so well! Oh man, I should just buy a ton of them and have them around the office to get through Christmas week.

          On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 1:54 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Hindi movie set (spektaklu) in Kerala – Rang Rasiya. Man, seeing people in traditional Malayali clothes speaking hindi was so confusing. Especially because the dubbing was so odd. I don’t want to see it again. Instead I want an indian movie made in Sicily.

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    • Baaghi 2 has a looooong Kerala section, but at least it is limited to a martial arts school, so we can just assume everyone in that school speaks Hindi.

      If I can ask for Chicago, you can ask for Sicily!

      On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 2:04 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • In Sirf Tum Sanjay Kapoor plays a guy who works in Kerala. But the movie was so boring I was more interested in finding and trying to read malayalam script rather than thinking about Sanjay and his love story.

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          • Why would anyone reject Sushmita Sen?????

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 2:50 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • This literally sounds like mi nightmare. I want to see a Sanjay Kapoor love story where he rejects the amazing Sushmita as much as I want to see a naked Jackie!!!

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          • You almost had me with “Jackie not naked” but then you said “Jonny Lever” and lost me again.

            On Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 3:41 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. Give me a web series in which Govinda plays a complex character and then he makes a comeback on the strength of it. Also give the poor bastard the brains to accept this when he gets offered it.

    Something gay, a Rajkummar Rao movie I want to actually see, mainstream movies that aren’t unbelievably regressive… The usual.

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