I am a FAILURE! Albie Dog is Underweight!!!!

Terrible news! We had our annual vet appointment this morning and I was SHAMED and HUMILIATED and JUDGED.

Gave Albie Dog to the vet at the door, he went perkily in without a backward glance (Albie Dog is always very good at the “make new friends” but not so good at the “keep the old” part. A very “out of sight out of mind” kind of dog). And then the vet called me ten minutes later, Albie got all his shots and his trick knee seems to be fine and he has no lumps, but he is UNDERWEIGHT!!!!! He needs to gain 5 pounds!!!!

Food is love, so clearly I am failing to love him enough and everyone knows it. The SHAME!!!!!!

See his hollow eyes? The sad starving expression on his face? The trauma of hunger visible in every line of his body?

This is worse than a fat dog, right? With a fat dog, at least the vet goes “oh, the owner just loves him too much”. But with a skinny dog, the vet goes “must belong to the Wicked Witch of the West who just cackles and watches him starve”.

Anyway, does anyone have any advice? I asked my friend who has a really fat dog, and she says the key was to have a baby who drops food on the floor all the time, but that may be more trouble than it is worth just to fatten up the dog. She suggested instead just being really really messy when I cook. And also treats.

Which is a problem, because I don’t actually own any dog treats? I just have low calorie chicken-rice food, and zero calorie rawhides. I DON’T LOVE HIM ENOUGH!!!!!

I think I’m gonna start giving him a spoonful of peanut butter with every meal and apologizing.

15 thoughts on “I am a FAILURE! Albie Dog is Underweight!!!!

  1. Immediately when I saw the post title I thought PEANUT BUTTER! Or, well dog treats. I’m not a dog person, but when I lived with a roommate who had dogs, I loved buying them pig ears for her dogs from the asian market. A couple days ago I noticed that our Grocery Outlet had gotten in this amazing selection of dog treats and I wished I had a dog to give them to. I love giving dogs treats, the nastier it looks the more they seem to enjoy it!

    Perhaps because of the surgeries, perhaps because of genetics, but my milk always took too long to really come in. So all three of my babies were underweight at a week. Thankfully the only person judgmental about that was me. Now however we are on a familial diet of NO sweets unless lots of exercise. The nine year old really wants to make muffins, and he is learning fractions so it would be a good thing for him, but he refuses to take a walk with me so I’m refusing to make muffins. I need to just drag him out, but he is a screamer so I’m trying to gear myself up for it. Meanwhile the six year old thinks candy is the only thing worth living for.

    Liked by 2 people

    • This is not sweets related, but is screaming related. We have a friend whose son would have screaming tantrums at the grocery store and the only way to calm him down was to sit on him. Literally. Sometimes parenting involves looking like you are a kidnapper and sort of awkwardly smiling and waving at strangers as they stare at you with your screaming child. Oh, and I guess it is sweets related! Because the tantrum would be because she wouldn’t buy him the super sweet whatever that he wanted.

      On Wed, Feb 3, 2021 at 10:25 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      Liked by 1 person

    • I recommend bribery. Mine are allowed one piece of candy once they’re fully dressed with coats on and we’re walking out the door. Used to be a motivator to get out in the morning to go to school, now just if they come outside for a walk or to the park. Also how we very gradually work our way through all the birthday/ Christmas/ Valentine’s Day/ Halloween/ etc. candy that comes into the house. Anyway, these days I find it still works to get them off the couch without an unbearable amount of whining.

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      • I am just now realizing that this is a whole Mom conspiracy! My sister and I have talked many times about how our mother was cruel, unlike other mothers, because she used to trick us into going for walks and things. I thought all other households were a heaven of couch slumping and being left alone-ness. Who knew!!!!

        On Wed, Feb 3, 2021 at 11:02 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Could you try slowly switching him from low-calorie chicken and rice to just normal chicken and rice diet? Peanut butter is always my go to. Oh, have you tried giving him Greenies for his teeth? Those are usually high-calorie. We started giving them to Theo when he was underweight.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am scared to change his food, because it gives him great digestive distress in very gross ways. But I suppose I could start giving him treats, instead of telling him to suck it up and accept physical affection instead.

      On Wed, Feb 3, 2021 at 10:41 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. Yes, normal chicken and rice, not lo-cal. Here’s Teddi’s regime: chicken chews and maybe a Milk Bone upon arising, small. Then we share breakfast, bits of bread and butter, a pinch of egg, a nip of cheese or muffin. She’s small so I can afford to give her people food for dinner, chopped meat or steamed chicken with pasts or rice. But you can add it to her kibble. Then at night, we snack, dry corn flakes or Cheerios, maybe a taste of carrot cake. In short, she eats all day long but in small amounts. She’s not overweight, but not skinny either.
    Albie might just be genetically thin. If he’s otherwise in good shape, it shouldn’t present a problem, certainly not the problem that obesity does. And he gets a lot of love which is healthy.

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    • I think he is genetically thin. He is also a very active dog. While we all have been sitting around snacking and saying “oh, I can’t exercise, I’m trapped at home”, he has been doing zoomies round and round the living room every morning and losing weight. I wish I could get myself to do zoomies, but I just don’t get the joy from it that he does.

      On Wed, Feb 3, 2021 at 12:29 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  4. I can tell you are a good, loving dog mommy. Do you tug with him? I can tug for hours with Teddi, one hand on the keyboard, the other on the tug toy. Sometimes, if my arm gets tired, I tie my end to the bannister. She hardly notices.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Snowy has to lose a little bit of weight cos she has an enlarged heart. So the opposite problem. I am being very strict with her diet and she has lost 200grams. She has to have a heart capsule twice a day, 1 hour before food. Of course she is the world’s best capsule spitter-outer no matter how far I get it back in her throat so I’m aloowed to give it to her in a little piece of cheese – 1 cheese slice cut into 8ths lasts several days. Heated in the microwave for 7 seconds then mushed around the capsule. Silly dog thinks she’s getting a treat. Then comes the hour long wait for her breakfast or dinner and she’s a nightmare – nagging and whining. She also has to have a steroid medication as well for a collapsed trachea and that ramps up her appetite. Will be glad when the steroid meds stop.

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