Great, Netflix finally does a Charles Sobhraj miniseries like I have been wanting, but there is only a little bit of Sexy Desi Cop which was my MAIN requirement for a Charles Sobhraj miniseries! I mean, there is still some sexy desi cop, split between two separate sexy cops, but it’s not the main storyline like it would have been in my more fictionalized version.
My Version, International Buddy Cop Style:
Our hero is, obviously, Katrina Kaif. She is an American cop in a hippie vacation area. Maybe like where Genevieve lives? Genevieve, are there hippies there? Let’s say that, rural California, gorgeous and temperate and the local cops spend a lot of time dealing with petty theft from travelers, vagrancy, and drug overdoses. And noise complaints next to party houses. And then Kat finds a couple of burned bodies in the woods. She calls the state police, they don’t care, they can’t find an ID or missing persons or anything. But Kat cares because she was a traveler like that years ago. She was a confused young person who took off backpacking across America one summer. She fell in love with this region, went back to school, got her degree in criminal justice, and returned to become Sherriff. She is also dating a cute sweet single Dad who is, let’s say, the local Vet. But she is avoiding commitment because she is still dealing with her issues about her own messed up family background.
Kat keeps tracking down the bodies, finally putting a posting on an international police facebook group about backpackers who were drugged, stripped, and burned. Which is where it is spotted by a police officer in Goa, Shahrukh. He had a similar problem, Goa is riddled with various crimes, and his boss wanted him to stop trying on the case of the mystery backpackers. No missing person’s reports, no one seems to have cared they are missing, move on to other cases. Shahrukh ends up visiting Kat in California and she visits him in Goa, before they finally track down the killer in Amsterdam. He is a Sobhraj style international killer who preys on backpackers. He has a faux philosophy he spouts off to draw them in, then he drugs and kills them, takes the clothes and money, sells it, and keeps traveling. His goal is to travel the world and see all the most beautiful spots and he will do whatever it takes to make it happen. He is, of course, played by Ranbir Kapoor.
The important part is that Kat visits Shahrukh in Goa and stays at his house with him and his loving wife Mandira Bedi and their three kids. And he gives her wise fatherly advice about her complicated family issues. Her parents were hippies, her Dad was desi and went off to go on a spiritual quest when she was 4. Her Mom got super organized and remarried and had a “perfect” family. Poor Kat always felt kind of lost between her Mom whose life was too limited, and her Dad who dropped in and out of her life and had no balance. And she had almost no connection to her desi heritage, learned Hindi in college for the first time. But visiting Shahrukh and seeing his family and going to a Hindu temple in India for the first time and maybe doing Kareoke makes her feel better. And then Shahrukh visits Kat in her town and helps her see that she is already a mother to her boyfriend’s daughters and they are a family, it just doesn’t look like the “perfect” family she grew up in. She can be a Mom without learning how to cook or quitting her job, she can be the Mom that takes them mountain biking and then out for pizza. And finally she and Shahrukh both go to Amsterdam to get Ranbir and as they are preparing for the final dangerous capture, Kat texts her boyfriend “will you marry me?” And after they capture Ranbir, she gets a text back, “yes”.
And then we have a happy wedding with Kat and her step kids and her new husband that I have decided is Channing Tatum getting married in their backyard, with Shahrukh and his wife and kids in attendance.
Now, THAT is a Charles Sobhraj miniseries! RIGHT??? NETFLIX??? ARE YOU LISTENING???