Happy 10 Days before Republic Day!  And 6 Days before Airlift comes out!  To celebrate, I have pulled out my “Vande Mataram” film pack.  I could watch Lakshya and swoon over Hrithik in uniform, or The Legend of Bhagat Singh and swoon over Ajay in a hat, but somehow I am just feeling LOC Kargil!

LOC Kargil covers the “Kargil War” or “Operation Vijay” which lasted from May 3rd of 1999 to July 11.  So, a 10 week war.  The Pakistanis crossed the border in Jammu and Kashmir, India sent troops and pushed them back to the other side.  So, a game of Kabaddi, but with guns and in the mountains.  But I am not here for the incredibly detailed account of the war, I am here for every single hot actor of 2003 taking turns delivering awesome tough guy one liners, while in uniform!

Text onscreen before film:

Due to cinematic constraints of screen time, many more battalions, which took part in the KARGIL WAR, could not be given importance, which they richly deserved in the film but they too need to be saluted by a grateful nation and the production house of J.P.FILMS

(oh my God, what did they skip?!?!  The whole war was only 10 weeks and this thing is 4 hours long with a main speaking cast of like 50!  How much more detailed could it possibly be?)

[top army guy explaining the situation] “The food that our troops have left in the bunkers, they are feeding their strength on that and using it to attack us!”

“The other name for bravery is Gurkha Battalion! Even Hitler had said, ‘Give me an army of Gurkhas, and I will rule the world!’ Jai Mai Kali!!!” (Hitler?)

“‘I am a brave Maharashtra!  We don’t get scared, we scare others!’ ‘And I am a Jat from Hariyana!  We just kill!….Jai Maharashtra!’  ‘And Jai Hariyana!'” (is this really how soldiers talk to each other?)

[officers response when given the potential enemy figures] “What if they are even 8 thousand?  They have barged into our house and we must throw them out!”

“When a child goes into a dark place, it whistles and sings to hide it’s fear.  Even so, we will go singing as we march!”

“A soldier’s coffin came into the village every 3 days.  They should have been from a Sikh regiment!  I have come here to avenge those coffins.”

“When I was young, we used to live in a house outside the cantonment.  When an invited guest came, we would feed and house him.  Even when an uninvited guest arrived, we would still feed him.  But if an animal burst in, we would kill him!  Friends, today something like that has happened to us!  Some wolves have burst into our house.  Now tell me, what should we do?!?!” (Sanjay Dutt gives the best pep talks to his troops!)

[Abhishek proposes to his girl back home] “A soldier lives by chance, loves by choice, and kills by profession.” (Abhishek, you’re dreamy!)

[Ajay Devgun responses to his commanding officer saying it wasn’t their responsibility that the Pakistani army broke through] “If the milk is left unprotected, shouldn’t the dog at least feel ashamed?”

“Coffins.  A truck full.  I swear on my mother’s milk, I will take revenge for this!” (Sunil Shetty, so warlike!)

“It’s all right if we don’t get enough rations, but make sure we leave with plenty of ammunition.” (But Ajay, an army marches on its stomach.  I don’t think you thought this through.)

[And then Ajay talks to his troops] “We will go with ammunition.  But we will go with stretchers also.” (but no food, apparently.)

[in response to someone complaining about him snitching all their food] “I’ve brought food, but to give not to take. Pakistanis are very hungry, I will feed them with bullets!” (this is Akshaye Khanna now, not Ajay.  They both had the same terrible idea)

“JAI MA KALIIIIII!!!!” (Ajay, while shooting a bazooka at a machine gun nest)

[the commanding officers take prasad from all the 4 major religions, and distribute it to the troops.  Who respond thusly] “Religion!  Jai Ho!  Fie on Evil!  Jai Ho!  There should be sense in human beings!  Jai Ho!  There should be faith in the world!  Jai Ho!  16 GRENADIERS!  JEET JEET JEET!!!”

“Our CO told us that our motto is Victory or Immortality!  Today, it is time for Victory!  And those lying in the mountains ahead of us have already gained Immortality!”

“Sir, in case I don’t come back, please give my daughter in marriage for me!” (Mohnish Behl, I have a bad feeling about this!)

[five minutes of screentime later, in response to a suggestion that he be taken back behind the lines since he has been shot a million times] “No no!  Taking me down will take more people!  We need every soldier!  You just get those bastards for me!….Nothing has happened to me!”  (Bye Mohnish Behl!  At least you have someone to take care of your daughter’s wedding?)

“Whether we have RT support or not, acclimatization time or not, Rajputana Rifles will capture the position.  Do you know why Colonel?  Because words like failure or defeat don’t exist for the Raj Rif, neither in its history nor in its dictionary.”

[Sanjay’s response] “One word to you.  Words like Victory don’t take place without some casualties.  Try and keep the count low.  Because whenever a young man of our country dies, he takes a part of me with him.” (Sanjay, you break my heart!)

“Raja Ramchandra ki JAI!!!”  (Screamed while storming another machine gun nest.  The Rajput Rifles really don’t know defeat!)

[voice over above the body of a soldier who was just heroically killed while shooting a bazooka and shouting ‘Jai!!!!!”] “Dearest Papa, Mama, Birdy, and Granny,  By the time you get this letter, I will be observing you all from the sky.  I have no regrets.  In fact, even if I become a human again, I will join the army and fight for my nation.  If you can, please come and see where the Indian army fought for you tomorrow.  All the best to you all.  Yours, Robin”

(Oh man, now I’m all emotional!  Okay, time for a break, I’ll be back with more touching death scenes in the second half later today.)