Happy Easter! Not a very long new fanfic this week, I put up my epic Amar Akbar Anthony Easter post from last year to make up.
DDLJ 2 (mostly from Asmita in the comments of this post)
Asmita’s idea was that Shahrukh and Kajol have twins, a boy and a girl. The boy goes to study abroad in Japan and falls in love with a woman from Nigeria. But, when he goes to her and tells her he is in love, she reveals that she is married already and leaves to go back to her husband in Nigeria. The boy goes back to London, heartbroken, and at his parents’ 25th (OMG it’s been almost 25 years since DDLJ came out!) he starts to cry and confesses everything to his sister.
(Maybe played by this woman? She’s beautiful and a Nigerian actress)
His sister, being a strong confident type like her father, insists that he can’t just let it go like this, he has to go to Nigeria and find the woman he loves. She organizes tickets and insists on putting him on a plane herself. In Nigeria, he manages to find her again (reprise of running to him in the fields scene!) and she admits that she loves him as well and is miserable in her arranged marriage. But her husband is very powerful and she doesn’t want to put the man she loves in danger. She is telling him this in his hotel room, and at this point the connecting door suddenly bursts open and the rest of the family runs in! His sister told their parents what he was doing and they decided to rush to support him. Also, (and this is the point where it goes totally Masala and I love it), Shahrukh has been secretly getting his international law license and is ready to help his future daughter-in-law get a divorce from her horrible husband.
The family comes together and starts camping out in the hotel suite together, along with the Nigerian woman. Lots of cute scenes of Kajol and Shahrukh flirting and their son and his girlfriend flirting too, while the daughter laughs and teases both couples. And also triumphal scenes of Shahrukh defending her right to love whoever she wants, no matter what. And, my favorite part, also some fight scenes. And this is my favorite part because of course the hero of the fight scenes is…..Kajol!
(remember how awesome it was when she showed up with a gun in Dilwale?)
See, as I see it, they are walking back to the hotel after a family dinner out when they are confronted by a group of goons Shahrukh orders everyone behind him for safety and tries to calm down the goons. They won’t be calmed, they want the son and his girlfriend, they have been hired to take the couple back to her husband for punishment. Shahrukh prepares for a fight, at which point Kajol suddenly shoves him aside and uses amazing martial arts to kick and hit and destroy the whole gang while her family watches in stunned silence. Finally, fight over, she turns back to them and says “what? I’ve been telling you for years that I know martial arts!”
And then we get a flashback, showing Kajol sending the kids off to school and husband off to work, and then in boredom picking up the video game controller and trying her son’s martial arts game. She gets better and better, she starts inviting friends over, then they hire a personal teacher for all the housewives, they roll back the carpets and move aside the furniture and do classes. We see them go through a whole series of teachers, learning a whole variety of disciplines. Eventually they go down to the basement laundry room and use bags of rice for target practice. We see Kajol mentioning this to the kids and her husband, about how they are starting with a new Krav Maga teacher today, or how she won the target practice contest and got a new vacuum cleaner as a prize, and they all just go “uh-huh” and keep doing what their doing. We even see her in the background, using a high kick to put away groceries or whatever, and no one notices.
Back in the present, Kajol defends them several times from armed goons, although there is also a stressful moment when the son and the Nigerian girlfriend are trapped alone and the son has to somehow manage to defend both of them until his Mom can arrive to rescue them. Meanwhile, Shahrukh is making impassioned speeches in court and convincing people, until finally he succeeds and the Nigerian woman is granted a divorce, and they return to London for a grand wedding.
But there is still danger! A last final attack in London, funded by the ex-husband who is now furious and using all his money and power to try to destroy them. Not to worry, when his gang storms into the wedding hall and the men and children run screaming, Kajol and her old “auntie” friends pull together, take off their heels and tie up their saris, and proceed to have a massive fight scene defending everyone. And, in the destroyed hall and after math of the fight, the son and his girlfriend finally get married while everyone cheers. Happy Song!