TGIF 2: A Game of 5, Which 5 Husbands Would You Pick?

Last night Meenakshy and I got to talking in the comments over whether I should switch from Prabhas to Siddharth for my Telugu husband, which turned into a discussion of how I get to have a husband for every language, which reminded me of this post.

This game has a bit of a loopy origin.  First, I was talking with someone about how obviously our fantasy isn’t for Shahrukh to leave Gauri, because no one wants that.  Her fantasy was for Gauri to die, and then Shahrukh to fall in love with her after an appropriate mourning period.  But that seems gruesome.  Plus, I don’t know if I want Shahrukh around, like, all the time.  He seems a bit high maintenance.  So my fantasy is for him to stay married to Gauri, but have me be his secret American wife.  He can buy me a nice apartment in my hometown, and lots of jewelry, and visit once a month or so, and Gauri can handle all the day to day labor of being married to him.

But then we started thinking about how it really isn’t fair that Shahrukh gets to have multiple wives, me and Gauri, and I am stuck with only one husband.  Why should that be?  After all, Draupadi had 5!

And thus, the game was born!  What is the ideal combination of 5 husbands?

My first thought was, you want 5 husbands so you have somebody appropriate for every occasion.  The Shoe Theory.

For red carpets, or when I am depressed and just want to look at something pretty, I would keep Hrithik in a room with a lot of mirrors (so he can amuse himself looking at his face when I don’t want him).

Image result for hrithik selfie

For lifting things, and protecting me from bad guys, and aging really really well, I would have Akshay.

Image result for akshay kumar lifting

For getting things down from high shelves, and being very impressive and connected to everybody, and also kind of funny, I would have Abhishek.

Image result for abhishek

For being super fun to hang out with and gossip and get clothing advice and everything else, I would have Karan.

Image result for karan johar

And finally, of course, for general everyday every occasion use, fitting in all of the above categories in one way or another, I would have Shahrukh.

He would be my 1st husband, and keep the rest of my harem in order as well, making sure Hrithik didn’t talk too much,

Image result for shahrukh hrithik

and Akshay didn’t work out too much,

Image result for shahrukh akshay

and Abhishek didn’t get too bossy,

Image result for shahrukh abhishek

and Karan never got sad.

Image result for shahrukh karan

Now, that’s The Shoe Theory of husbands.  There is also The Ice Cream Theory, a different flavor so you never get tired of any of them.  This was what my friend was proposing, one old and one young, one intellectual and one physical, etc.

Now, following this concept, I would start with Amit Sadh.  For when I am wanting something youthful and talented and kind of sweet.

Image result for amit sadh

But then, when I am in the mood for something mature and classy, Arjun Rampal!

Image result for arjun rampal

But what if I want someone who is just kind of silly and happy?  Not too bright, but easy going and generally easy.  Siddharth Malhotra would be perfect.

Image result for siddharth malhotra

And then when Siddharth pales on me, and I need something a bit more intense and challenging, bring out sensitive and sad Ranbir!

Image result for ranbir

And, of course, the flavor that never pales, the chocolate of husbands, Shahrukh!

Image result for shahrukh khan

 

And then there’s my newest theory: one for each language.

Hindi is Shahrukh, obviously.

Image result for shahrukh khan

Telugu is Prabhas

Image result for prabhas

Malayalam is my beloved Nivin

Image result for nivin pauly

Punjabi is Diljit

Image result for diljit

Now, problem!  Maddy feels too old for me, which means there is no one I want in Tamil.  Meenakshy gave me permission to pick a second from any other language, I think I am going to exercise that option and pick up a second Malayalam, Prithviraj.

Image result for prithviraj

 

So, who are your choices?  And for what reason?  Also, feel free to cross gender lines, you can throw in a few wives with your husbands if you want.

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17 thoughts on “TGIF 2: A Game of 5, Which 5 Husbands Would You Pick?

  1. My first rule is that none of them can be young enough to be my son. Since I was married in October, 1970, Maddy is just old enough to be my “boy toy” husband. The other four would be Nana Patekar, Jackie Schroff, Anil Kapoor, and of course Shah Rukh! Now I just have to think of the righ occasion for each one!

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    • Boy, that son restriction is almost as stringent as my “must be taller than 5’9″ or Shahrukh Khan” rule.

      I would take Maddy out when you wanted people to feel jealous of you. Shahrukh when you want someone to be nasty and entertaining at a social event, whispering jokes in your ear and so on. Jackie if you want to go anywhere in Bombay, because he would know how to act anywhere from a high class South Bombay gay bar to a slum chai shop. Nana for intellectual persuits, lectures and art films and stuff. And Anil for whenever you are feeling down. Or babysitting the grandkids.

      On Fri, Sep 14, 2018 at 2:41 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • Oh poor Hrithik! I suspect he often has to put up with comments such as these. But then he can just look in the mirror at his pretty pretty face and feel better.

      On Fri, Sep 14, 2018 at 5:18 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. You missed your Pakistani & Hongkong husbands, M. Also Wikipedia says Nivin is 5’9”.I’m thinking it’s really the beard & grungy facade that swings it for you.

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    • He can wear lifts.

      And no, I like my sweet Nivin! the slightly pudgy glasses version.

      On Sat, Sep 15, 2018 at 12:42 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. I wasn’t going to comment on this, since it’s Sunday already, but I was a bit bored at dinner, all alone in a tiny restaurant on travel for work, so I thought this over. Possibly too much. I decided to go with a more “household” approach than strictly husbands. So, I decided the household I would go for is my real husband, Shah Rukh, Gauri, Rani, and Aditya (yes, Chopra). These people all know each other really well, so hubby and I would be able to learn the ropes in terms of being supportive to everyone as needed, and getting support in return. Plus I’m intrigued by being one of the few people to really know Adi well.

    Now, the down side of this “household” approach is that I’m giving up Irrfan, Ranbir, Arjun K, and Prabhas, but I would get confused coordinating among 5 husbands. What if plans change, or my mood changes?

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    • Would you consider dumping your real husband so we could make space for Karan? Because I feel bad for poor KJo out there in the cold while everyone else is having fun together. Plus, his babies could play with AbRam and Rani and Adi’s babies, which would be nice. If not, I am willing to stretch a point and allow you your real husband and 5 others in addition instead of as substitutes.

      Otherwise, makes perfect sense! I also want to be one of the people who knows Aditya really really well. And I suspect Rani is a great roommate, the kind who is super considerate about turning down loud music and stuff, and maybe helps organize the chore wheel.

      For the other option, I think the best solution is to just get a minivan, and where ever you go, have all 5 husbands follow you, and you can just text whichever one you want to pull out of the bull pen as needed.

      On Sun, Sep 16, 2018 at 2:17 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • I don’t know about Karan. He’d come with cute babies and his Mom could hang with Pam Aunty. I’ll let you know after I read an unsuitable boy. It’s on my wish list, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Thanks for being willing to bend the rules though. 🙂

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        • My feeling after reading An Unsuitable Boy is that Karan is A LOT to put up with. But, on the other hand, your system means responsibility for him would be shared among the household, and that would make it so much easier.

          On Mon, Sep 17, 2018 at 11:29 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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