Yes, this is a silly silly shallow fan post. But who cares, it’s fun to be shallow. And if it isn’t fun for you, you can just not read this post.
There are loads of Shahrukh movies where he definitely DID have sex with the heroine. And loads of movies where he definitely DIDN’T have sex. But then there are the in between movies where we can have lots and lots of fruitful productive discussion!
Honestly, this is so theoretical for most of these that the question is less “would they or wouldn’t they?” and more “what possibility about these imaginary people does it make me more happy to imagine?”
Shahrukh is hired to break Twinkle’s heart so she will agree to marry the nice man her father has picked out. He fake romances her, and then she overhears him talking about her and her heart is broken, just as Shahrukh planned. But they are both still super upset about it. So, during that fake romance time, sex or not?
I say, YES SEX!!!!! They are both just so super torn up about it afterwards, plus the “hire someone to get her ready for marriage” feels like it. And I like picturing Shahrukh and Twinkle having sweet sex and then confusion afterwards.
Shahrukh romances two sisters! And they are both super super in love with him. Do we think he had sex with Shilpa?
I say, YES Shilpa and NO Kajol! Shilpa he was dating longer, and it was more intense. Plus, he kind of fell in love with Kajol for real and I think he would have been afraid of revealing too much of himself if he got intimate. Also, I like the drama of him sexing and killing one sister, and loving and refusing to sex or kill the other.
Dev and Paro, yes or no?
I hate them both and have no opinion
Dil To Pagal Hai
Shahrukh says “aur paas”, Madhuri comes to him, they are alone in an empty reception tent, they embrace, cut to song.
Filmikudhi convinced me, YES they totally did it! While we were watching the song, they got undressed, pulled a tablecloth off and put it on the ground, did the deed, then got dressed again and went back to hugging just in time for us to come back from the song. Plus it works better dramatically for them to have had sex, failed to talk about it, and then be extra extra agonized and guilty when Madhuri gets engaged to Akshay.
Kajol and Shahrukh are young and in love and cuddling on the grass together. Yes or no?
I say, YES! Why not? And it makes me happy to think they had some time together before the 10 years apart. What I really like is to think they were both sexually active people before meeting each other, but then that spoiled love with anyone else and they remained faithful and pure for 10 long years. Which just added to all the built up passion when they finally united again.
Shahrukh and Priyanka share secrets, run off together, have a magical connection. But do they find time for sex?
I say, YES! Don is Don, right? It’s the kind of thing he would do. And it explains why she is so super angry at him in the sequel. And I really really like imagining Don pretending to be Vijay while sleeping with Priyanka.
Shahrukh is a riding instructor, Kajol is the rich client who is running after him, he is “teaching” her how to use a slingshot and all kinds of things.
I say, YES! They are young, they are in love, and it makes me happy to think about Kajol being that sexually aggressive and guiltless. Rich girl seducing riding instructor? AWESOME!!!
Shahrukh is a mute lowly stable boy, Madhuri is the tragic trapped bride who considers herself “married” to him in her mind.
I say, NO! They would have if a helicopter hadn’t interrupted them, and by the time they meet up again Shahrukh is all revenge obsessed and no time for sex. And anyway, who wants to have sex with revenge obsessed Shahrukh? Boring and serious, blech.
Main Hoon Na
Shahrukh and Sushmita are two mature attractive people who go through a traumatic experience and end the evening in Sushmita’s bedroom.
I mean, YES, right? Like, yes so hard that Shahrukh just moved in to her house after that night and they had sex twice a day until he left town. It’s basically canon.
One 2 Ka 4
Juhi is the nanny for Shahrukh’s wards, they are sharing a house, she is chasing after him. But does she catch him?
I say, YES! They get “married” and spend the night together in the house they are buying. Really the only question is if they keep having sex after they move in with the kids and all or if it was a one time thing. I say YES to that too, post this song they were “married” complete with casually sharing a bedroom in my head.
Raju Ban Gaye Gentleman
Shahrukh has his first house, and invites his girlfriend Juhi over to see it, then gives her a sexy dress.
I say, NO! Because I like the rest of the movie better if Shahrukh and Juhi restrained themselves, and then there is this added stress to all their subsequent fights because they are both just exploding with unfulfilled desire.
Shahrukh has a big old RV to himself, and Gayatri Joshi is a mature independent woman, and they have told each other “I love you”.
I say, YES! Because I like picturing how nerdy scientist Shahrukh and practical calm teacher Gayatri would go about sex. I’m picturing a calm discussion in advance, Shahrukh folding out the bed and changing the sheets, Gayatri bringing a change of clothes, and both of them buying condoms just to be sure. And then a very methodical slow and satisfying experience for both, followed by cuddling and conversation about plans for the rest of the day.
Shahrukh and Raveena are in love, and Shahrukh has the ability to climb up to her window.
Now, how do we define “sex”? Because I feel like the mutual orgasms while separated by a wall but singing to each other might qualify. If we call that “sex”, then I say YES. But if we don’t, then I say NO. Because after that, I kind of feel like they were so satisfied any actual connecting bodies sex would be a disappointment and they wouldn’t bother until after the wedding.