TGIF: For Easter, Have Some Hot Indian Jesus Pictures!

Happy Good Friday!  I am celebrating by seeing Arjit Singh live tonight (WOOT!!!!).  But I don’t want to totally ignore the massive religious celebration going on all over the world.  So, in honor of Jesus, let’s look at some hot men.  Who kind of look like Jesus (as presented in American pop culture).

If you are a historian, you know Jesus probably looked something like this:

Image result for historical jesus

But if you were raised in America, you know that Jesus looked like this:

Image result for jesus

European features, longish (but not too long!) hair, and beard.  Also usually tall with high cheekbones.  Basically, our Lord and Savior was a hot hippy who took a lot of baths.

That Jesus-look is awfully attractive though, isn’t it?  And so, for this Holy Friday, I thought we would take a look at some hot Jesus-looking men.  Oh, and it’s not offensive, because I’m Christian myself and I teach Sunday School and everything.  Okay, maybe it’s a little offensive, but just enough to make it sexier.

Let’s start with Hrithik as Jesus-a-little-hungover-after-a-late-night-at-the-club:

And then Hrithik as Jesus-about-to-angrily-throw-moneylenders-out-of-the-temple

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And then Shahrukh, as peaceful-Jesus-Sexily-About-to-Turn-Water-Into-Wine-But-Too-Holy-To-Really-Be-Into-It

John Abraham, as Jesus-caught-without-sins-and-without-a-shirt

Salman Khan as Jesus-about-to-take-on-Peter-in-a-wrestling-match-and-prove-who-is-the-real-“Rock”

Arjun Rampal, as Jesus-after-an-image-consultant-told-him-to-be-more-“professional”

Kunal Kapoor as Jesus-after-that-image-consultant-changed-her-mind-and-said-he-should-be-more-sexy

Image result for kunal kapoor body

Aamir Khan as Jesus-who-is-remembering-a-funny-joke-Mary Magdelene-told-him

Image result for aamir khan beard

Varun Dhawan as Jesus-after-John the Baptist-Ducked-His-Head-Under-Water-And-Messed-Up-His-Hair

Image result for varun dhawan beard

Ranveer Singh as Jesus-crazy-cut-after-40-days-in-the-desert

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Ranbir Kapoor as Jesus-Doing-Sermon-on-the-Mount-to-Screaming-Fans

Image result for ranbir kapoor sadda haq

Sanjay Dutt as Jesus-well-this-one-is-self-explanatory

Image result for sanjay dutt sadak

And finally, young Amitabh as Jesus-relaxing-after-a-hard-day-preaching-peace-and-justice-for-the-oppressed

Image result for amitabh young

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20 thoughts on “TGIF: For Easter, Have Some Hot Indian Jesus Pictures!

    • You are welcome!

      Also, this is random, but my sister set me an email yesterday all excited because you were quoted in her local paper! World’s colliding!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I was once stuck in a Mumbai hotel room over Christmas, so ended up watching a lot of Christmas specials on TV. The two memories that stay in my mind are one play that was the basic Christ’s life story, except — not only was Mary dressed in a sari throughout, but she was wearing a big bindi all the time! I had a hard time trying to process what that was trying to tell me. But the show was an overall fail for me, because the actor playing Jesus had a very cruel face. Like he should be playing a Mafia don or, in the present time, the mastermind of a terrorist organization.

    The second memory was of an elementary school choir singing. I expected some Christmas carols, but what I got was “Old MacDonald Had a Farm!” Well, OK.

    That first pic you posted looks too European (and possibly Neanderthal, who were also Europeans, right?) to be what Jesus “really looked like.”

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    • I kind of want to watch that Christmas special now! I think I could reason away the sari, because no one really wears “realistic” versions of what their clothes would have looked like anyway, but the bindi makes no sense!

      That first pic has been bouncing around for a while as the accepted historical Jesus image, but I just went online to find out where it came from. A scientist who does reconstructive imaging worked with a team of archeologists and an assortment of skulls of North African Jews of that era. It’s not “really Jesus”, but it’s what someone of his class and culture and location would have looked like in that era. Mostly you just see it popping up the way I used it here, to remind us that the “Jesus” we usually see is a reconstruction, not real, and the “real” Jesus looked very different.

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      • Why North African Jews? My objection was that it doesn’t look sufficiently Semitic, and still too close to the “European” Jesus pic you posted.

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        • So far as historians can tell, the Jewish community in Jerusalem at the time was closer to North African than anything else. Anyway, this is the current image that historians have accepted as as accurate as possible.

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      • The funny thing is that when those stills first came out, before the film was released, many Salman fans online kept saying that he looked like Jesus. 🙂

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  2. What comes to my mind is Easter breakfast made by my mum
    We don’t eat meat & egg for 50 days until Easter it’s our local ritual (do you have such rituals???)
    Appam(what we eat on Easter breakfast)
    Desi version of home made pan cake
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xkdEbF09ZF4
    VATTAYAPPAM(Kerala Style)
    Desi version of cake??? I don’t know any thing similar to this in USA
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AoqnqI7z9tQ
    And my favorite of all hot & spicy fried beef
    https://www.alittlebitofspice.com/beef-fry-kerala-style-beef-ularthiyathu-with-thenga-kothu-recipe

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    • I don’t do anything for Lent, but it is fairly common in America. The usual thing is to give up red meat and eat fish instead. I always know it is lent because all the grocery stores start running fish specials. Some Christians also give up red meat as a routine thing every Friday, so there are Friday fish specials every week. It’s also common to just pick for yourself what you are giving up for Lent, whatever would hurt you the most essentially. So, chocolate or watching TV or walking to work instead of driving or something like that. My family has never really done Lent in any serious way, but if I were to do it, I would probably go with the “personal option” idea. Giving up meat wouldn’t hurt me much, but giving up caffeine or making myself walk to work or something like that would, and that’s the point, to feel a sacrifice.

      Your Easter food looks much tastier than ours! My family for Easter always dies eggs the day before, which is super fun but the eggs aren’t particularly tasty. And then on Easter morning we have egg “wars”, that is, two people tapping their eggs together and seeing which one breaks. We also have hot cross buns, which are yummy, but kind of an odd tradition, because the only reason you have them for Easter is that the top kind of looks like a cross. http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/hot-cross-buns/

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  3. I have one question.
    Aren’t these things offensive for Christians?
    I am friend with some christians. According to them, hot Jesus is not good. Jesus teachings and his sufferings should be shown not hotness.
    Doen’t mean to be offensive

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    • One must always have a sense of humour.

      But it would depend on how devout someone was. I am not devout so I have no problem with a some religious humour.

      For comedy TV shows with a religious theme watch ‘The Vicar of Dibley’ and ‘Father Ted’. Warning – Father Ted is particularly irreverent.

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      • You are right, one must have sense of humor. I can tolerate religious humor unless it is completely offensive.
        I am only talking about my friends. They are a conservative family. They are devot and also my favorite people in entire USA. I dont know much about christianity. They told me that sexy images of Jesus will be offensive to them. They are cool with church and preists to be made fun of. Hence, I thought that it is offenisive to all christians.

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        • Devout Christians are often the nicest people. I would hate to hurt their feelings. But, on the other hand, most of the ones I have met are also too nice to get mad at me for doing a post like this, and would be more likely to try to see my side of things and forgive me. So I’m not too worried.

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          • My friends over there are the some of the best people. They are devot people. They go to Church regularly. Best part is that they respect my culture and religion. They call Sikhs and hindus to be one of the most patriotic groups. I am duty bound to respect their culture and religion. I used to think that conservatives are racists but I have more in common with them than liberals. Dave favors everyone who is patriotic. He is a fan of Dinesh D’souza.
            Their daughter calls me older brother. I love her like a younger sister. Once, I got into fight with someone who was writing angry posts over detainment of SRK at New York airport. I wrote on his post that security of my little sis is more important than comfort of some movie star.

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    • I am confused why Passion of Christ is here but not The Davinci Code, Life of Brian

      For me, Majority of them shouldn’t be controversial. Some are just parables. Others focus on different aspects of Christ. For me controversial will be where Christ is balantly insulted

      Like

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