The title really says it all. If you are wondering whether you might want to see this movie, you don’t. It is not a good film. If you want me to talk more about how it is not good with spoilers, you can read the other review. If you want me to talk more about how it is not good without spoilers, you can read on.
45 minutes before the end, as we were watching yet another scene of Salman wishing really really hard (signified by looking constipated), I leaned over to my friend Dina and whispered “Remember how the sound went out while we were watching Ki & Ka? Do you think if we wished really really hard we could make that happen again?”
But, it didn’t. We somehow suffered through all the way to the end, with full sound and visuals and everything. In my Spoiler post, I compared it to a really ugly statue perfectly lit. And I stick by that!
The plot is a disaster. The characters are disasters. But by golly I could understand the layout of the town square, and the relationship of everyone to everyone else, and the passage of time, and so on and so forth. A very clearly drawn disaster. So, congrats to Kabir Khan! You did an excellent job directing a terrible movie!
Not congrats to Salman. “Maybe you should see a doctor?” to Salman. He did not look good in this movie. I think because his character is supposed to be a little physically and mentally weak, they opted not to cake on the glamour make-up like they usually do. Which means I got to see the lines on his face and the bags under his eyes a little more than I usually do. There was other stuff he did, posture and things, to show his character’s disabilities. But the basic parts of his face, that wasn’t acting, that was just letting us see how he usually looks without make-up.
Also, generally, it felt like his performance just wasn’t quite there physically in this. I felt the same in Sultan, there were some action scenes he did himself, but more he didn’t. And the dancing in particular, that was very restricted by his physical issues. In this it is even worse. Moments that seemed obvious green-screened, or done with a standin. And really kind of simple things, like riding a horse.
I don’t want Salman to stop acting, not at all. I just want him to stop taking roles that are too young and too physically demanding for him. This whole thing is making me very worried for Ek Tha Tiger 2. If it is an action movie in which our “action hero” can barely bend at the waist, that won’t work very well. But if you put Salman in a role like, say, his character in Sultan. The present day character before his comeback. Still very strong, not very flexible, middle-aged, quiet type. I think he could do really well in a part like that. Or just switch to character roles. The Rishi Kapoor type parts. Be the friendly neighbor with advice who does a little bit in one song. Not the guy who has to work super hard and be onscreen all the time.
Let’s see, what else? The scenery was pretty? Zhu Zhu was pretty too, and trying SO HARD with her Hindi dialogue. I would have much preferred she was just dubbed, it was almost painful to watch her working that hard.
Oh, and Matin Rey is the cutest boy ever. And by far the most entertaining actor in the whole film.