Hichki Review (SPOILERS): Work the System, Don’t Break It

I already put up the No Spoilers review, if you want to stay totally unspoiled.  But really, this film is so incredibly formulaic that all you need to know is it’s about an inspiring teacher and you can fill in the rest.  There isn’t much to spoil.

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Hichki Review (No SPOILERS): A Very Safe Movie

I’ll be putting up a separate SPOILERS review, but there really isn’t much to worry about spoiling.  We’ve all seen this kind of movie before, we know what it’s going to be like and what will happen.  So, you can read this review, and then see the movie, and then read the SPOILERS review, or you can just read them both and then decide if you want to watch it.

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Pari Review (SPOILERS): The Primal Fear of All Men Which Leads to the Primal Danger for All Women

Well, that was as draining and difficult as expected.  NOT because it was a fake horror movie, but because it was a fake horror movie that was representing real horrors.  If you are planning to watch it, don’t read on, read the no spoilers review instead.  But if you aren’t planning to watch it and want to join in a fascinating discussion, please do!

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Pari Review (No Spoilers): A Fairy Tale After All

Third movie in theaters in one weekend!  Woo-hoo!  Partly possible because I didn’t have to teach Sunday School for once, and because I was able to get to the early show on Friday so I didn’t spend my Saturday exhausted.  So don’t get used to this, might be the only weekend for a while that I can make it happen.  But it was nice to manage it once.

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Tuesday Tamil: Moondram Pirai/Sadma, Not a Romance but a Father-Daughter Story

Moondram Pillai, so far as I can tell, does not exist with subtitles.  So instead I ended up with Sadma with poor subtitles.  A challenge for my Hindi skills!  Luckily, most of the performance brilliance was in the non-verbal parts.

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Andaz Apna Apna: Is It Just Too Irreverent to Be Popular?

Happy Aamir Day! No reason besides my being swamped at work and needing to fall back on reruns.  And also wanting to pull together an Aamir index to go with my Shahrukh and Hrithik and Salman indexes.  So, today you get a bunch of Aamir reviews I wrote and posted already being reposted!  Fun fun fun!

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Aiyaary Review (SPOILERS): Wait, So That Was 4 Days/3 Hours To Get Us Back Where We Started?

Well, this was a pointless movie!  As in, the whole plot happens, and then you realize at the end “wait, that had no effect on anything”.  Not in a clever ironic way, but like the scriptwriter didn’t think it through.  And that’s on top of  the themes and characters just not being what they promised to be. (no spoilers review here)

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Aiyaary Review (No Spoilers): Neeraj Panday’s Usual Con Fails

Well, this was a bad movie.  Not a “I want to die” bad movie, more like a “maybe I will just take a little nap until it is over” bad movie.  Great actors, wasn’t their fault, but terrible script and terrible direction, just boring and unengaging.

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Padman Review (No Spoilers): This is the Akshay Kumar Female Hygiene Film to Watch, if You Watch Only One

I braved the snow, a huge traffic jam, and using my moviepass card for the first time (it worked!  Like a little miracle) all so I could see this movie.  And it wasn’t half bad!  As a movie.  As a “message” or as a version of the true story, it could have been improved, but as a movie it was a nice solid film.

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Padmavat WHOLE THING! Part 1 (SPOILERS): Ostriches and Pearls and Brahmins, Oh My!

This is a tricky one, on the one hand there is so much in it that I really want to go through step by step and make sure I don’t miss anything.  On the other hand, there isn’t enough in it (and I don’t want to spend so much time) for me to do a “real” scene by scene, shot by shot, style discussion.  So I’m gonna do kind of a half one.  Sort of like I did for Bajirao.  Go through everything that happened, but not in super detail. (no spoiler review is here)

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Padmavat Review (NO SPOILERS): Intent Versus Effect

I saw it!  Not opening night, but soon enough.  Theater was half full, half the audience was talking and the other half was shushing them, very odd dynamic.  I’m used to all talking or no one, not this mix and match.  Which kind of fit the mix and match I saw within the film.

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Happy Salman Day!!!!!! 7 Salman Classics Reviewed-starting with Love

I was trying to think what to put up for Friday Classics, and then I thought “why not a Salman movie that I have reviewed in the past, reposted?”  And then I thought “why not two Salman movies?”  And then I thought, “why not ALL THE SALMAN MOVIE CLASSIC REVIEWS ALL AT ONCE.”  And I am going to start with Love, which was an early early movie of his, and he is just brilliant in it.

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Tiger Zinda Hai Review (SPOILERS): A Lot of Style Hiding a Big Ball of Nothing

As I already said in my no spoilers review, this was not a fun movie.  And not a movie I liked.  And, I think, not actually a good movie.  But a movie with all the trappings to fool people into thinking it is good.

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Tiger Zinda Hai Review (No SPOILERS): Not a Fun Move

Well shoot, that was a disappointment!  And I feel kind of bad because I dragged my sister and cousin along with me.  On the other hand, I am also happy that I had them there for moral support.  Because this was very dark and very stressful and not really fun at all!

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Tumhari Sulu Review (SPOILERS): The Value of Emotional Labor

I put up the No Spoilers review for this back on Saturday, but I wasn’t in a huge hurry to get the spoiler review out.  It’s a slow build kind of film, I am guessing interest will be higher on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday than it was on Saturday.  Plus, I had to spend 4 hours at church on Sunday and then make two cakes and a pie, so there wasn’t much time for writing.

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Secret Superstar Review (SPOILERS): An Everyday Story With a Once in a Lifetime Solution

I already put up my No Spoilers review, now this one will give me a chance to talk about the plot in specifics.  I should say, there’s nothing exactly surprising here, the movie could only end one way once the situation was established, but maybe if you want to be surprised by the details of how it plays out, don’t read on.  On the other hand, if you are unable to see the film for any reason, here is where you can learn what happens and what it is about.

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Secret Superstar Review (No Spoilers): An Odd Mixture of Fantasy and Reality

I finally saw it!  24 hours after most other people.  Stupid job, keeping me from watching movies in the middle of the week.  Anyway, I’ve seen it now.  There was a lot done really well, but there were also some things that were missing.  The message was holding back a little somehow.

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Tuesday Tamil: Solo (SPOILERS Review), More Than the Sum of Its Parts

Okay, let’s do this!  Tuesday Tamil!  Actually on Tuesday!  My box office post is still going to be late this week, but at least everything else will be back on track.  Plus, I am excited to talk about plot details for this movie. (no spoiler review went up earlier today)

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Chef Review (SPOILERS): They Didn’t Know How to End It

No Spoilers review went up last night, and this is a good pleasant enjoyable film, so you shouldn’t necessarily read the spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet.  But on the other hand, most of the plot is kind of given in the trailer, so maybe it doesn’t matter as much?

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Spyder Review (SPOILERS): Closing the Technical Gap

What a great experience for my first Mahesh Babu film in theaters!  Not a great theater experience exactly (I was alone in there), but a great film to experience on the big screen, and to spend 3 hours of my life totally focused on watching. (No spoilers review here)

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Spyder Review (No SPOILERS): An Action Movie About Human Connections

Well, this was an actual good movie!  A no shortcuts, no lack of imagination, no lack of quality, straight up good movie.  How refreshing!  Something I could see myself going to with my parents, or seeing a second time just on my own.  Not flawless, but actually really really good!  It’s been awhile since I had that.  Certainly better than the movie I saw last night. (Spoiler review for this going up on Tuesday, the usual Tuesday Telugu)

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