Pathaan Review (SPOILERS!): An Elderly Humanist Action Hero Who is Also Sexy!

I’m gonna spoil this movie, but you can’t really spoil it. It’s all about the crazy action moments and sexy chemistry and stuff. You may actually WANT to spoil yourself, so you can relax about any perceived jingoistic plot twists, and how the romance happens, and those stressful things.

Continue reading

Pathaan Quickie Review: Counting It Down By the Numbers!

I’ll right a slightly longer review in a minute, and then a much longer review with spoilers, and then possibly a much MUCH longer review with scene by scenes (but maybe not, it’s not really that kind of movie). But for now, having just gotten home, I want to simply give the broad strokes of the experience by the numbers.

Continue reading

Best of 2022 Awards Grand Finale: Best Angie Review!!!!!

While I have been slowing down on movie watching and reviewing this year, Angie has been picking up! So we absolutely need to read through her reviews from the comments section and pick the best. This is not a comprehensive list, it’s just the ones that tickled me while reading through the archives.

Continue reading

Cirkus Review (SPOILERS): Uneven, Uneventful, But Not Unworthy of Watching

Sooooooooo tempted to do a snarky “three ring fizzle!” kind of title. But that’s just not me, why beat up a helpless little film when instead I can try to give it a chance to find love? Yes, it’s not the best movie by a long long shot, but it’s harmless and trying.

Continue reading

Cirkus Review (No Spoilers): For Once, Gay Does Not Equal Good

I had a lovely evening at the theater, mostly because I went on a weeknight so it was just me and my friend and we could talk the whole time. I highly recommend talking straight through this movie, the bits that it is fun to talk over are way more common than the bits it is fun to watch. Despite the fact that it is a very very gay/camp movie which you would think means it is entertaining.

Continue reading

Phone Bhoot Review (No Spoilers): Jackie Shroff is HOT!!!!!!

Is that a spoiler? I guess it is a small spoiler. Because sometimes Jackie is hot, and sometimes he is a yuck old man. But in this film, HOT! Don’t know what magic pill they gave him, or maybe the pandemic was just very good for him in terms of making him look rested and healthy, but dude looks GOOD. Oh, and also there were other people in the movie and they were also okay. And the movie itself was clever and made me laugh. But Jackie, HOTTIE!

Continue reading

Bhool Bhulaiya 2 Review: A Clever Good Time Ride, with Excellent Red Chillies Double Role VFX!

That was a very pleasant movie experience. I wish I’d watched it in a group, or even better in the theater. It was definitely set up for group laughter and enjoyment. Still fun on my own, but less fun. Anyway, I recommend it if you are looking for a light harmless silly comedy! And want to appreciate Shahrukh’s VFX team, as I am sure we all do.

Continue reading

Ponniyin Selvan Review (SPOILERS): Read This Before You See the Movie If You Want a Cheat Sheet

When I was growing up, before we went to see a Shakespeare play, my Mom would always read the synopsis aloud to us. Because you don’t want to be distracted by trying to follow the guaranteed-to-be-complicated plot while enjoying the performances and everything else. This is very much that kind of a movie, super SUPER complicated plot and it’s gonna be easier to appreciate the experience if you can relax and know who everyone is without trying to follow things.

Continue reading

Brahmastra Review (SPOILERS): This is What Happens When a Narcissist Makes a SuperHero Movie

Ugh, I did not like this movie. I did not like it so much that I couldn’t sleep last night. So I am writing this review on very little sleep, therefore very grumpy, and hating it even more than my last review when I compared it to vomit. What a fun read this will be for all of you!

Continue reading

Brahmastra Review (No SPOILERS): Shahrukh Cameo, But Otherwise VOMIT

I don’t even care about spoiling the SRK cameo. It’s the main reason most of you would want to watch it, and I wouldn’t be giving you necessary info without acknowledging that. But otherwise, a disgusting bowl of undercooked reheated greasy microwave pizza with phoney “masala” sauce that was eaten and then thrown up in a big brown pile with chunks on the sidewalk by a drunk hipster who was yelling at his girlfriend at 3am while you are trying to sleep. Did that description make you feel a little nauseated and unhappy? WELCOME TO MY WORLD! Midnight, I just got home, and I feel too sick to sleep.

Continue reading

Darlings Review (No Spoilers): Great Shefali/Alia Performances, Overall Very Much a First Film

I finally watched it! And I am NOT going to tell y’all to watch it. Just because it deals with spousal abuse for large parts of the film and it’s frankly hard to watch. But if that doesn’t bother you (or if you are okay fastforwarding), it also has a kick of two central performances.

Continue reading

Grease Review (for Olivia Newton-John): A Movie I Had to Age into Appreciating

Oh Olivia Newton-John. I heard she died and the first thing I wanted to know was “What did Travolta say?” It’s rare that an onscreen pairing in American film is so strong that even when the real person dies, your first thought is of their onscreen partner. So let’s go back and look at that movie which had such an impact and think about why that impact happened.

Continue reading

RRR Review (No Spoilers): Do You Like Homoeroticism, Bad Period Costumes, and CGI Tigers? THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU!!!!

OMG, this is such a FUN movie! You know? Like, it’s just fun to watch! No stress, no hangups, pure joy. Even ends with an end credits song literally saying that, all about returning to dance and song and joy. You should 100% watch it and NOT read the SPOILERS review until you do. Or do read it, it’s also a movie where 99% of the joy is in the spectacle, not the plot.

Continue reading