Silly Sunday: Shahrukh as a Male Prostitute, Alia as Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Amitabh in a Sci-fi Film

Happy Sunday!  I am about to go to church for a Sunday School committee meeting, followed by Sunday school, followed by the fall involvement fair, followed by the services committee meeting.  And this whole time I will know in my heart that I am secretly the kind of person who has written a “Shahrukh Khan as a prostitute” fanfic.

Shahrukh as a High-Powered Male Prostitute:

This really needs to have co-credit with Asmita who came up with the whole concept and then I just embellished on it.  Although I do STRONGLY reject her premise that prostitute-Shahrukh would have a ponytail.  NO PONYTAIL ON SRK.  This is a basic premise of my life.

Image result for shahrukh ponytail

(No)

So, concept.  We are in Europe somewhere, Prague let’s say.  Shahrukh arrived with nothing but his sexiness and a dream years earlier.  He was hired on by the then leading high class male escort company, run by Rekha (brief flashback to young Shahrukh proving his skills by seducing her before he could be hired).  Then, flashing forward 15 years, Shahrukh strolls in to Rekha’s office, casually sits down in her fancy leather couch, stretches out his sexy legs and lets his sexy fitted white shirt fall a little open, and informs her that he is starting his own company.  Rekha immediately offers him a raise, he tells her “you can’t afford me any more”, Rekha is furious, Shahrukh strolls out with a casual “and thank you for all you have taught me…Auntie”.

5 years later, Shahrukh is now the head of the biggest agency in town.  We see his version of a hiring session.  Like Rekha, he asks “show me what you can do”.  Only, this time it doesn’t go farther than a strip and a lap dance.  Hmmm, what young guy do we want to see give Shahrukh a lap dance?  My mind is a blank!  Help me!!!!  Somehow “Tiger Shroff” keeps popping up, but that isn’t right, is it?

Anyway, after the lap dance, Shahrukh cuts him off before it goes any further making it clear that it isn’t that he is against male-on-male, but he is against boss-on-employee.  He immediately goes behind his desk, hands him an HR form to fill out, a slip for the doctor who is going to give him a full physical and testing, informs him that there will be a 6 week training class and then a 3 month probation period.  The company has never had a complaint from any customer and it is his responsibility to keep that record up.  And welcome to Baadshah’s Boys.

(Possibly a remix of this in the background of the promotional video for the agency?  Which is an all male item song, obviously)

But then, Shahrukh checks his email to find a message forwarded from the website.  A complaint!!!!  The first one ever!!!!  A woman who politely asks if she can get her money back, as she did not end up using the “full services”.  Shahrukh calls in her escort to get the full story.  Let’s say, John Abraham?  Or maybe Arjun Rampal?  He explains what happened, while we see it without ever seeing the woman’s face.  He picked her up, they went to the hotel, he fed her strawberries, gave her a massage, even danced for her.  But when he went in for the kiss, she didn’t respond.  And then politely asked him to take her home.  John/Arjun is super apologetic, knows he has let down the company, is embarrassed, this has never happened to him before.  Shahrukh tells him it isn’t his fault, he did everything right, there’s something about that woman.

And now, finally, we see the woman.  JUHI!!!!  And not just Juhi, but Juhi-the-respectable-soccer-mom.  Through a series of scenes, we establish that she is a single mother whose husband is good about sending money but not good about spending time with the kids, her oldest son is, let’s say, deaf.  Which adds an extra strain, she has to make sure he gets accomodation at school, and also make sure she still pays enough attention to the other two boys, the middle one who is really into science fiction and stuff, and the youngest who is acting out at school since the divorce and she can’t seem to get through to him.  She overheard the fancy rich parents at her school talk about Shahrukh’s agency, and saved up money from her birthday checks from her parents, and the little bit of freelance graphic design work she picked up (because she couldn’t use money from her ex-husband, obviously!) and finally set up her “date”.  And now she is thinking about getting her money back and buying a vacuum instead.

Image result for juhi chawla children

We find out the last part when Shahrukh meets her.  He wants more information about what happened, emails her, she politely says that she just wants her money back and doesn’t have time to meet with him.  After some back and forth, she finally says that she can squeeze him in if he meets her at her house.  And so she explains the whole “I’d rather have a new vacuum than sex” argument while she is moving around picking up dirty clothes, loading the dishwasher, generally doing all the busy housewife kind of chores.  Shahrukh listens, dressed all sexy, but also ends up handing her dishes and helping to carry the laundry baskets without really thinking about it.  Finally, Shahrukh hears her out, and then offers that if she gives them one more try, he will buy her the vacuum of her choice, anyone she wants, no matter what happens.  And Juhi agrees.

Now, as I see it, we have a montage.  Shahrukh keeps trying, does a pole dance for her, cosplay as a pirate, as Sachin Tendulkar, as any other fantasy you can think of.  And Juhi just keeps smiling politely and gently pushing him away when he goes for the kiss.  But, also, we see a series of gifts.  The vacuum, and then a new blender, a new set of pots and pans, and finally a new washer dryer.

Finally, after yet another failed attempt (Juhi looks bored, Shahrukh is shirtless and covered in glitter), they get a phone call.  It’s Juhi’s sons’ school.  She has to go right away, there is an emergency.  But they came in Shahrukh’s car.  He reluctantly offers to drive her.  At the school, Juhi is told they need to speak with BOTH parents.  She calls Shahrukh, tells him he can forget about the new dishwasher if he comes in right now and plays her son’s father.  Shahrukh bargains her down until she agrees to 3 more meetings in return for this one favor.

Once inside, Shahrukh starts out fake, being all smooth and charming to the female principal.  But once the son comes in, the middle one with the science fiction, Shahrukh gets softened and starts to actually care.  He is in trouble because he sent another boy to the hospital.  The principal wants to suspend him and blame him for everything, but Shahrukh sees through it, takes the kid aside to talk “man-to-man” and confirms that actually Juhi’s son had been bullied all year, didn’t want to tell his mother because he didn’t want her to worry, has been keeping it all inside, and it finally exploded today.  Shahrukh tells him that fighting is wrong, he shouldn’t keep things from his mother, but he bets it felt awfully good to just let go for a second, didn’t it?  And somehow, Shahrukh ends up promising to teach him how to fight with a little more control.  Juhi finds out at dinner that night, is furious, calls Shahrukh to yell at him for making promises to her son, Shahrukh surprises her by saying that was a sincere promise, he was the son of a single mother himself, he knows how tough it can be.  Juhi agrees, but says she has to be there to supervise.

Shahrukh ends up spending time at her house, with all 3 boys.  The other two want to learn to fight as well, Shahrukh learns a little sign language so he can teach the oldest, babies things down a little for the youngest without patronizing him, is generally wonderful.  And Juhi calls them in for dinner, invites Shahrukh to stay, he and the boys goof around at the table, then he does the dishes while Juhi puts them to bed, and then says he is leaving, will see her for their “date” tomorrow.  And Juhi surprises him by kissing him passionately.

Image result for juhi chawla shahrukh

They finally have sex, in Juhi’s messy bedroom with the kid’s hand drawn pictures taped to the wall and piles of clothes on the floor and half finished sewing projects strewn around.  And it’s not crazy prostitute type sex, it’s funny with them tripping over the clothes on the floor and Shahrukh getting stuck in his shirt while he tries to take it off, and then laughing and kissing and having a real connection.  The next morning, Juhi wakes up to find Shahrukh making breakfast for the boys, having already packed their lunches, casually wishes her “good morning” and gives her a kiss while the boys go “ooooo!” and tells her he will see her later.

Back at the office, Shahrukh immediately starts making plans, tells his secretary he will need to do some restructuring of his schedule because he will have to be done by 6pm every night from now on.  Also asks her to start looking for a house, somewhere near a park.  And to find out what the best school in the city is and who they know there that they might be able to blackmail into accepting 3 more students.  Also, the legalities of marriage and guardianship laws here for two Indian ex-patriots.

But in the middle of this, he opens his email to find a message from Juhi.  Saying she great appreciates her experience of last night, was fully satisfied, and therefore is sending a wire transfer for the full amount.  And she thanks him for his discretion and professionalism.  Shahrukh takes a moment, his mouth twists a bit, and then he tells his secretary to forget it, and to bring him the plans for the new branch offices, he wants to focus on making Baadshah’s Boys the leading company in Europe.

Meanwhile, Juhi isn’t doing great either.  Her boys ask when Shahrukh is coming over again, and she snaps at them, says he wasn’t their “real” friend, just a business person doing her a favor.  She tries to go about her day and forget him, but she can’t.  She finally has to talk about this with someone.  So she goes into a hotel bar, takes a moment to look around, and then goes up to Lisa Haydon and asks “are you from the Desi Girl agency?”  Lisa says yes, and Juhi explains that she will pay her for her time, but she just wants to talk.  Lays out the whole situation start to finish, and asks what Lisa thinks?  Was there really something there, or was Shahrukh just doing business?  Was he giving her the “full husband experience”?  Lisa says “I will do a lot of things for money, but I won’t do laundry.  I don’t think that’s what was going on”  And she adds that Shahrukh is well known in the industry for his professionalism and boundaries, he hasn’t gone out on a job himself in years, and when he did, he was yours while he was with you, but only so long as you were paying.  He had a calculator and a stopwatch in his head, he would charge you down to the penny and the second.  What Juhi is describing, that sounds like he really liked her.  Juhi sighs “That’s what I was afraid of!  And I threw it away”  Lisa leans forward and says “not necessarily.  Have you considered….”

Image result for lisa haydon ae dil hai mushkil

(after Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, I just want her to cameo in every film!)

Shahrukh is angrily on the phone at a hotel bar.  He came here for a meeting with the head of the Desi Girl agency to discuss possible synergy opportunities, and she has stood him up!  He hangs up the phone, but before he can leave, a voice asks him “buy me a drink?”  It’s Juhi!  Play acting as a hotel call girl!  Shahrukh is thrown, but Juhi bravely keeps going, telling him that she can show him a good time if he is feeling lonely.  She has a room right upstairs.  Shahrukh hesitates, then says “what about a room across town?  With three boys down the hall?”  Juhi smiles and says “tomorrow night.  Tonight is just for you.”

 

So, debates!

Who should be the young new hire cameo who gives Shahrukh a lap dance?  Tiger, Vidyut Jamwal?  Varun?  Siddharth?  I feel like there must be a young guy who we would enjoy in this situation, but I can’t think who and it bothers me.

Image result for vidyut jamwal

(Vidyut?)

Who should be the old hand who failed in the first attempt with Juhi?  Arjun?  Hrithik?  John Abraham?  Emraan Hashmi?

Image result for purab kohli

(Purab Kohli?)

Is there a better ending that I’m not thinking of?  I also considered having the boys call Shahrukh for help and him realizing that that Juhi is sad and then surprising her with a striptease at the school playground.

Is ‘Baadshah’s Boys” the best possible agency name or is there another one I’m not thinking of?

Should Shahrukh have a ponytail just so Juhi can undo it and run her fingers through his hair at some point, or is it not worth it just for that one moment?

 

Alia as Sabrina the Teenage Witch

This is like the definition of niche marketing.  Who else besides me will both know the Sabrina the Teenage Witch TV Show, and Alia Bhatt?  Oh well, I did the crowd-pleasing SRK option already, indulge me!

Image result for sabrina the teenage witch

So, Alia is the teenage witch.  She lives with her two aunts, smart and sophisticated scientist Tabu and somewhat ditzy fun one Madhuri.  She balances learning magic from them with high school pressures, including her boyfriend Varun Dhawan.  Her nemesis is the popular girl in school Jhanvi Kapoor.  Her best friend is the shy girl Sara Ali Khan.

Right at the interval, Varun finds out she is a witch and breaks up with her because he can’t handle the lying.  Post-interval, Alia is in college with new friends, spoiled rich girl Sonam Kapoor and hippy out there type her-friend-from-Student-of-the-Year.  And she has a new romantic interest, her boss at her college coffee shop, Arjun Kapoor.  There is some back and forth before they get together, he briefly dates Sonam instead of her, but then they admit their feelings.  Just as Varun reappears!  He went to school overseas for a while, but now he is back.  He and Alia are still friends, he knows the biggest secret in her life and is her oldest friend in the world.  Arjun is uncomfortable, but Alia tells him to deal with it.  Finally, Arjun proposes.  Alia says yes, wedding is planned.  But, on the day of the wedding, she gets literal cold feet and in order to cure them needs to prove to herself that she and Arjun are soulmates.  But, when she casts a spell, she finds out they aren’t quite.  She runs out from the wedding, to find Varun waiting, and rides off with him.

Oh and naturally all along there are lots of magically infused item song type things.  Including at least one where the characters travel through all the history of Indian film.

If I make this movie, will anyone watch it or care?  And is there better casting available, especially for the aunts?

 

Amitabh in a Science Fiction movie

This is just because it occurs to me that science fiction isn’t really something that has been done well, and also that Amitabh would be GREAT to bring realism and depth to ridiculous fake science.

Let’s say, aliens!!!!  Amitabh is a wise old distracted professor type.  Akshay Kumar is a farmer in the Punjab who finds a mysterious artifact.  He takes it into town, no one knows what it is.  His wife Juhi Chawla sees a thing on TV with Amitabh being fired from his university for claiming aliens are real and living among us, so he tracks down Amitabh.

Image result for akshay joker

(I know Akshay has already done a farmer-alien movie, but this would be a GOOD one)

The two of them slowly uncover an elaborate cross-planetary battle between “good” aliens and “bad” aliens in which the Punjab is the latest battleground.  The “good” aliens are lead by Hrithik (no one human looks like that, it would explain so much!).  The “bad” aliens are lead by Aishwarya (no one human looks like that either).  The noble villagers/farmers help the “good” aliens because they trust Akshay and Amitabh.  Along the way, Amitabh provides wise kindly life advice to Akshay that helps him improve his marriage with Juhi and increase the profits on his farm.

Or should Amitabh and Hema be the farm couple while Akshay is the scientist?

 

 

 

Okay, which if any of these should we make? I’ll put this another way, if you CAN’T make the SRK-Juhi one, which one would you make?

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39 thoughts on “Silly Sunday: Shahrukh as a Male Prostitute, Alia as Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Amitabh in a Sci-fi Film

  1. Sorry I haven’t gone through this post yet. Just wanted to let you know Raees WTP is on right now and me and mom are watching it. We got to it just before the car borrowing scene because there was a cricket match on and we waited till that ended go get to this.

    I do see the problem already. It’s Zeeshan. He’s got a UP accent going and Raees is supposed to be a Gujarati but his Muslimness is Indori/Lakhnavi. Gujarati muslims speak Gujarati you know. And during the scene where he’s helping Musa distribute the biryani, I noticed that he looks like he always does i.e. like SRK. I pointed it out to mom and she agreed that the hair is a distraction. He should alter that more so he looks less like SRK and more the character. His accent is all over the place too. Too uneven. Plus the fight in the meat market was awfully bad. It was as painful to watch as Sunny Deol’s dance. I’ll keep you posted on our review of the film. The story is engaging so far.

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    • One of my theories is that the whole film is just an excuse for the Yatra scene. See what you think of that. Also, you missed SRK’s intro which is one of the best scenes of the film, if it plays back to back, make sure to watch through to that.

      On Sun, Sep 24, 2017 at 11:11 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • The entire film had an undercurrent of the Gujarat riots and communal tension. It felt eerie.

        What era was this film set in? It felt like mid 90s but their clothes were all wrong for that time.

        I completely hated the smuggling montage song. Compare it to something like the sequences in special 26 which are tightly narrated.

        Something was always off about it all. The story was good till he gets elected but it felt like it was trying too much. They wanted to make SRK grand but not too grand but also not too NOT SRK but also very SRK.

        I didn’t understand the post-election part of the film at all. If he had the land in his name, he could use the funds he gets as a sitting MLA, for development of the area that he lives in anyway instead of relocating everyone to a new place in the middle of nowhere.

        He stops the yatra because it’s in the middle of his core business hub. But these are the same people he wants to move to that new unbuilt place? And a sitting MLA is found supplying RDX that’s used in terror ops all over the country and a cop who’s been after him for liquor smuggling shoots him? Terrorism > breaking prohibition, no?

        The script was too weak and made zero sense after a point. I kept watching because I thought something would redeem it but it didn’t.

        Both zeeshan and nawaz outshone SRK on the screen. If you think SRK looks muted in his scenes with Nawaz it’s because he is. And he has stated on record that he think nawaz is a better actor than him.

        Acting wise, notice how zeeshan uses SRK to play off of in his scenes. Nawaz engages with whatever is in front of him- files, carrom, etc and SRK sorta just sits glamorously. This is what they teach you in film school. How to make a scene look organic and natural 101. Nawaz and carrom, the way he eyes the pieces on the board vs how SRK just looks at it gingerly. Carrom used to a big deal. Imagine it being chess. The metaphor is dominating in the game right? well, SRK never looks convincing around the board. Which is annoying. Compare it to sanju in Munna bhai. Notice the engagement level.

        Overall, I would not watch this film again. Not even for nawaz. Mom fell asleep an hour into the film.

        Also, I noticed SRK’s voice. Have you noticed it? I don’t know if that’s the dubbing but it’s weird.

        All the JHMS making videos that I saw had the same thing. Parts where I couldn’t understand what he was saying at all. He’s always done the shaky voice thing and it was melodious and a little nasal but now it just felt hoarse, like his throat was constantly dry and itchy.

        The part where mahira is telling him to run away, she speaks clearly and zeeshan speaks clearly but SRK speaks like he’s telling kids a scary bedtime story. It’s too whispery! Is there a problem with his voice?

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        • I think a lot of the flaws with the film were because they wanted to address the riots without directly addressing them. So they put it in an unspecified past time period in order to avoid accusations/line up closer with the original Ayodhya Yatras, And they rushed the ending because they new they had to do some kind of “he’s Muslim but a good Muslim but still has to be killed because he is a “criminal”. They whole thing was just kind of a mess in terms of narrative, especially the last third, but I wrote that off towards fear of the censors.

          And YES!!! His voice is definitely changing. I noticed it first in my DDLJ watch, there are a few speeches where he noticeably changes his voice for emphasis, and the changed voice is what his voice always sounds like now, and it almost never has that light sound it used to. I assume it is just smoker’s voice as he gets older.

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          • I don’t understand why they would make a controversial film about Gujarat when Modi is in centre with a Muslim top actor? Did the filmmakers NOT understand how serious it could have been. or were they hoping it would be so the film gets international publicity? I got very uncomfortable watching that.

            SRK, as a noob in ’92 and someone who was very much in Mumbai in 1993 when the blasts happened must have been appalled at the script. If he wasn’t he should have. Riots, blasts, Muslims carrying transporting explosives– the script was written around these plot points, right?

            Who in their right mind would do this and say, yeah, let me get SRK and a Pakistani actress to star in it. Do you see the problem with the script? It is just sitting there for someone to use it as ammo to start a riot!

            The smoker’s voice thing is real. BUT it adds base to your voice. Case in point- Prabhas. SRK seems to have an old person voice now.

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          • Maybe it’s because Shahrukh is an old person now?

            On Sun, Sep 24, 2017 at 10:42 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • this is an out there thought, is it possible that it’s because of how sound has changed? Maybe he is doing less post-dubbing and more synch sound or something? Which is making his voice sound rougher?

            On Sun, Sep 24, 2017 at 11:04 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Then that’s changed for everyone not just him. And his lip sync was all over the place in the film. Definitely not sync sound. it is all dubbing and very bad dubbing. Who the hell mixed the sound for this film. there were sounds missing. I didn’t get the clinking of the glass when he kicks the tea glass in the jail cell. there were so many other instances of him interacting with the environment and there was no sound it it at all. what a poorly made film. I did not expect SRK to be this inattentive to details

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          • I didn’t notice it, but some other people reported the same stuff about JHMS. Like, having a hard time catching all of Anushka’s lines because the sound seemed off with her. Maybe there is something going on with the production side of things at Red Chillies? Just, incompetent post-production people.

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          • I read it last night during a looooooong commercial break but i was too pissed at the film to think about this.

            Well, I certainly do not want Juhi to be in it. I either want a young indian actress who wont mind having 3 kids in the film or a non-indian actress.

            And I want her to buy the husband package. SRK just buying her things like a dishwasher says she’s a bad mom because she’d rather spend on a hooker than a dishwasher for the house. And I want her to be using her husband’s money for the hookers. the pride thing is weird and out of place.

            I definitely do not like him calling rekha auntie when he leaves. That’s offensive and misogynistic.

            The kids thing is good but it feels like every other hollywood film ever.

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          • I would totally want Jennifer Aniston !! See because a non-indian actress with SRK in a film set overseas would still need to have name recognition in india right. So top picks would be Jennifer Aniston, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson and Camron Diaz.

            BUT if it could be any mainstream Hollywood actress, I would want either Amy Adams or Tina Fey. Because they would make the most awesome “I like him but i dont want to like him” faces. Also, the leading lady would have Octavia Spencer or Melissa McCarthy as the feisty/encouraging soccer mom friend who hands her the card to SRK’s agency in the first place and Leslie Mann as the judgemental sister who basically has the same sister role as Bonnie Hunt in Jerry McGuire and then they can have the you had me at hello moment too!

            If she has to be Indian, then either Neelam or Urmila. With Neetu Singh as the judgemental marriage-crazy mother, Arju Rampal as the ex (just so Neetu Singh can tell her “so you have a type, huh), Waheeda Rehman as the former mother-in-law who keeps in touch because of the grandkids and who thinks her son settled for a less pretty girl and ruined his life. Juhi can be the CEO from a competing agency who sees SRK with the girl and tells him his agency must really be struggling if he has to come out of retirement to handle mom clients personally.

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          • Yes Urmila!!!! That’s PERFECT!!!! She is so gorgeous, but also has kind of a “cute” vibe, I would love to see her as the sweet Mom type who is used to being overlooked and forgotten.

            On Sun, Sep 24, 2017 at 11:58 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Also neelam. She looks gorgeous enough too to make it seem crazy that her husband would cheat on her. I was thinking something like arjun rampal cheats on with boss’ young new wife and his first wife, sridevi, is someone who’d mentored neelam/urmila when she first came to states a decade and a half ago. They’re close friends and Sri gives her the agency’s card and tells her to enjoy herself the way hee husband did. I also have madhuri as neelam/urmila’s gym friend who has three high-school age boys who are unruly. Madhuri day drinks and is a friend with a lot of sage advice to give. When neelam/urmila has doubts about SRK, madhuri tells her to just go with it.

            I definitely want the friends and family thing in there. Also judgmental indian community thing. Also a showdown where SRK’s profession is revealed and a backstory for SRK which I want to be inspired by the real life story of Sunny Leone. Also, maybe he had a wife way back when and estranged kids that the bitch ex wife doesn’t let him meet. Maybe his story is like he had a high flying career that he lost in the recession and he worked at some Vegas club as a dancer for a while to put meals on the plate for his very young kids and the wife didn’t appreciate that he was doing his best, etc.

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          • I think we are now reaching a full old school 3 hour plus kind of movie plot, and I love it!!! Flashback somewhere in there to give Shahrukh’s background, Urmila with a large loving group of people around her and a full life without SRK, plenty of subplots and complications.

            One thing I really like with the twist of Urmila having so many people around her is that it would give a little more balance to the relationship. She needs hot sexy SRK, and also supportive co-parent SRK, in her life. But he needs this big loving community in his empty business focused life. So they can both complete each other.

            Also, new thing I just thought of, can we make the middle shy reader kid who gets in the big fight at school into a girl? Urmila’s been relying on her a bit too much as the only other female in the household, the “good” one, which is part of why she explodes and beats up a boy at school. But Shahrukh teaches her it’s okay to be angry sometimes and act out, she doesn’t always have to be perfect.

            On Mon, Sep 25, 2017 at 8:33 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Why must the India girl have three kids?? It’s seriously frowned upon in India to have more than two kids.

            I don’t want the family to take too much focus off the main relationship. So her 14-year old boy is the studious, serious brainy one and the daughter is a spirited 6-year old who loves all things Disney. SRK helps the boy with his math and science homework and he plays dress up with the little girl.

            I can totally see you trying to turn this into a Hollywood film. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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          • My concern is if Shahrukh acts against an inexperienced Hollywood actress like Jennifer Aniston, she will have a heart attack and die from his sexiness. Sure, she was married to Brad Pitt, but can that really prepare you for the full effect of an SRK love scene?

            On Mon, Sep 25, 2017 at 10:43 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I think it must. Plus she’s also worked against Gรฉrard Butler in case you forgot.

            My first choice for a full Hollywood cast would still be Amy Adams or Tina Fey with the conservative sister and freaky soccer mom friends.

            SRK can then be the stereotypical Indian dude who’s good at math and science. ๐Ÿ˜

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          • No! I want him to break the stereotype, be the Indian dude who is incredibly dangerously sexy, and also artistic. Blow America’s little mind.

            On Mon, Sep 25, 2017 at 10:47 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Although I ike the idea of ShahRukh as the boss of a call boy agency for a fanfic, I would change some things for a movie plot to make it more ‘family-friendly’ and more ‘universal’ (not toooo western).

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    • I’m just not sure if there is anyway to make a call boy agency based movie plot family friendly!

      On Sun, Sep 24, 2017 at 4:16 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • They can do what Indian films have done forever– be suggestive and veil all references to sex under officespeak. Oh and Margaret, there’s now a possibility of having a mom, MIL, extended family and friends into the script so maybe that can make the story more family friendly. Let me post that in a separate comment though.

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  3. Urgh. I’m an old, crusty radical feminist who also believes that the sex trade (whether porn or prostitution) is as exploitative as much wage labor is, with the additional soul-killing effects of physical violation. So I can’t really enjoy prostitution plots-whether men or women are the prostitutes. I don’t mind at all playing with dominance and submission in consensual relationships, but someone buying access to someone else’s body is not consensual, by definition, to me and other radfems. So–looking forward to next week’s fantasy. ๐Ÿ™‚

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        • War of the Worlds with Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon/Shilpa Shetty as the divorced mom, Aryan Khan and some other star kid who’s the right age for the screechy girl character. PLUS, it’s an actual novel so they can adapt it to India more easily rather than just copying the film.

          The story needs to be set in somewhere like Bangalore so Akshay’s youthfulness is justified and not out of place. Their house is also by a Metro because I just love those scenes.

          So Raveena/Shilpa lives on the posh side of Bangalore and her husband is like an IT superhighlevel CEO or something. She has to go to Europe/US with her husband so the kids are to stay with him for two weeks. Before leaving, she has to stay at her mom’s in Chennai. So when the shit goes down, Akshay and the kids are heading to Chennai.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Silly Sunday Post: Wholesome! Family Film Options | dontcallitbollywood

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