Rainy rainy rainy here. And, I assume, rainy rainy rainy there too. So heck, I’m gonna do rain stories. And rain makes me feel arty, so they will all be reflective little art movies.
Bride and Thief Trapped Together
It’s the Monsoon. A bride is having the finishing touches put on to her outfit, hair and so on, intercut with her father talking to the guy renting the venue and arguing about how the roof is clearly leaking. Back and forth, back and forth, tension building, and then WOMP. The roof falls in. Bride comes running, everyone is excited, much discussion, bride throws a hissy fit about being all ready and wanting to get married TODAY, finally after much calling around they find an empty venue if they leave right now. Everyone piles into cars, Bride insists on going by herself because she has to stretch out in the seat or else her dress will be crushed, car takes off with just her and the driver in the rain, and suddenly skids and runs into a lamppost. Bride is furious, her day is RUINED!!!!! Driver tries to calm her, promises he will go for help. Bride is alone and notices that there is rain coming through the broken window which is spotting her dress!!!!! Horrors! She digs out an umbrella and runs for the closest building, an abandoned factory.
(I’m picturing full heavy bride gear like this)
Meanwhile, there is a car chase. Two guys on the run from the police, zipping and zagging through the rain traffic with the police on their tail. Finally the drive tells the passenger to take the “stuff” and make a run for it, hide in that abandoned factory, he will meet up with him later. When the bride comes stumbling in, the thief pulls his gun on her and tries to scare her off. She reassures him that she just wants to stay out of the rain, doesn’t care about his life. Finally, just to maintain control (and because he doesn’t actually have bullets in his gun), the thief offers that if she gives him a piece of jewelry as “rent”, she can stay an hour.
And then of course they start talking, at first fighting, he is dismissive and insulting of her petty concerns, she doesn’t have sympathy for his turn to crime, and then he is scared of a rat and she calmly kills it with her shoe, and that kind of breaks the ice. He starts talking about his horrible childhood with the rats trying to bite him in the orphanage, she talks of her childhood trips to the country, where she got to be strong and confident and kill rats and take care of herself instead of being sheltered in the city. They are both hungry, so they hunt around and find some old bags of chips and split them and keep talking.
Meanwhile, her family and the police are both converging on the factory. Finally arriving at the same time. The police start shooting immediately, and the Thief is HIT!!!! The bride screams and runs to help him. Her family screams outside and scares the police into not rushing in because she is a hostage and her father and her groom will make a big stink if she is injured. Stand-off. INTERVAL.
(Innocent good woman bandaging an injured thief, long romantic tradition)
In the second half, inside the factory, the Bride is efficiently taking care of the Thief and explaining that she started nurse’s training and loved it, but then her uncle convinced her father that it didn’t look right for the family and she had to leave. Their conversations get deeper and deeper, she starts admitting that this wedding day feels like the only thing in her life she can control, her childhood belonged to her father and her adulthood will belong to her husband, but this moment in between is just for her. He starts talking about how the only person who ever cared about him and took care of him was the older boy at the orphanage, who we slowly realize was his partner, the one who let him out of the car.
They are getting messages from outside through calls to the Bride’s cell phone. Her groom calls in and starts to reassure her, and she snaps “I’m not a child!”. The police call in, and break the news that the partner has been arrested. The Thief tries to kill himself in sudden guilt, realizing that his partner let him go, taking care of him one more time like he had since they were children, and now he doesn’t want to live if the only person who ever cared about him is suffering. The Bride grabs his hands and intensely says that she cares about him, at first just to stop him from killing himself, but then as she repeats it they realize how true it is.
Outside, the family dynamic is shifting. The groom’s mother is beginning to imply that perhaps they don’t want a bride who seems so “friendly” with a thief. Her family is furious, saying she would kill herself before being dishonored. Finally it turns into her father calling her. She is at first glad to hear from him because she is feeling so emotional after the confrontation with the Thief. But then he goes from telling her he loves her, to asking leading questions about whether she has been “injured”, and she figures out what he is really asking and why. She is furious, and bursts out that if the groom is asking, they can tell him that she has been as faithful in the past 3 hours as he was in the 3 months between engagement and wedding, does that answer his question?
Outside, the groom’s family and her family have another fight and his family leaves. Her father declares that he will stay because she is his daughter and he has a duty, but he will not allow her back into his house, he has two younger daughters to marry off and cannot take the dishonor. He doesn’t realize that the police radio is picking this up and inside the factory, the Bride and Thief are both listening. The Bride half laughs and says she guesses she has her whole life for her own choice now. The Thief suddenly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a perfect diamond on a gold chain. He explains that he and his friend stole it, and now he is giving it to her. He won’t be getting out of here alive, he knows that. She can take this and start her life over again, finish nurse’s training, buy a house in the country, live her own life. She stops him from handing it to her, and instead guides him to putting it over her neck, like a mangalsutra, and then dips her hand in his blood and smears it on as a sindoor.
Now, here’s the question. How to end?
1. Thief is shot down by the police, bride survives, hides the diamond in her dress, 3 months later she is signing up for nursing school and introducing herself as a widow.
2. Thief is arrested, Bride escapes, tells off her family and tells them that she is married and moving out, and then we see her 6 months later going to a prison, signing in as “Mrs. Thief”, and then going to the prison hospital ward to visit her husband and tell him about her nurses’ training and the house she has found for them, once he is out.
3. Thief is arrested, Bride pulls free of her father and grabs his car keys, uses his car to stop the police vehicle and the thieves gun to force them to let him loose, they run off together to the ideal vacation town she remembers from her childhood, 4 years later we see his partner from the opening being welcomed into their home as their children’s “uncle”.
4. Both die in a hail of bullets, bride artistically draped over his chest.
5. Either of the first two, except they had sex during the standoff and now months later she is visibly pregnant.
- Amit Sadh and Alia Bhatt
- Diljit Dosanjh and Kriti Sanon
- Tovino Thomas and Sai Pallavi
- Dulquer and Nithya Menon
- PRABHAS!! and anyone
Divorced Couple Rain Romance
A respected elegant wealthy woman, the type who never appears without her diamonds and her perfect smokey eye make-up, is having a calm mature conversation with her husband about their plans for the day, he is flying out to London, will be back early the next day, no need for her to go to the airport. She is having a meeting about one of her charities and then leaving tomorrow to travel to their son’s school for parents’ day (no need for him to come, she will handle it, like she always does).
Meanwhile, we see a middle aged man pull himself awake in the middle of a cluttered artist’s loft. He’s got paint on his fingers and face, and goes to look at the new canvas he had clearly stayed up late working on. Drinks milk from the jug, eats a half a roll out of the garbage, and then looks at his phone and goes “oh shit” and drags off his shirt and leaves it over a chair, jumps into a shower, then hunts around for a clean shirt, finally ends up just putting back on the same one from the chair and runs out of the door.
(Very similar to his intro in One 2 Ka 4. And yes, OF COURSE I am picturing Shahrukh in this role!)
In an office, the woman is waiting and tapping her foot while a lawyer tries to smile at her and reassure her. Finally the man comes running in, goes for a kiss on her cheek, she repels him with a look, he backs off and sits down and tries to catch up on what they are talking about. The lawyer explains that, as his income has taken a drop in the past five years with the lack of interest in his art, it might be time to consider liquidation of the last shared asset, their flat. The man is angry and refuses, that is the first flat he bought, he is not letting it go. The lawyer points out that he isn’t even living in it any more, and now that the most recent tenants have vacated, it is a good time to sell. There is a lot of back and forth, finally the woman says the first words, snapping at him “Just stop this! I know you need the money, and I want to be done with you. Whatever it takes”. He gives her a deep dark look and finally says “All right. I’ll sell. But I signed the papers to buy that flat standing in it, I will sign the papers to sell in the same place.” She lets out a tiny sight and says “fine”. The lawyer looks very apologetic and admits that he has another appointment, perhaps they can go tomorrow and sign the papers there? She has no more patience, snaps out to just give her the papers, they will go together and sign them there.
They go separately, him in a rickshaw getting soaked in the rain, her in her fancy car. He tries to drag it out, but she takes control and forces him to sign once they are in the flat. Only for her to go down and discover that her car is now trapped in a rising puddle with no hope of getting out. He needles her about all her servants and her rich husband, and she snaps out that she didn’t take a driver because she didn’t want anyone to know about this and she will just sit in the car and wait until the rain stops and the water goes down. Only, when she steps into the water, she lands in a pothole and sinks into her knees. He laughs, and then calmly reaches over and drags her out and tells her not to be silly, they might as well wait it out together inside
The rest of the film cuts between their present day conversations, and their past selves as they see them in the apartment during other rain storms. He proposed here, they were college sweethearts, he surprised her by taking her to this flat and telling her he just sold his first painting and bought this flat, for them, they can be married no matter what her parents say. And then they had their first night here, in the rain. It started out terrible, her crying over the leaking roof and wanting her mother, but eventually he convinced her to try a rain dance right there in their own apartment and it made her laugh and they kissed. Then there is the dark time, his paintings aren’t selling, she had to take a job to support them, she is cheering him up all the time, asking about his art, praising him. And telling him that she is pregnant. His reaction is “but how can we afford a baby?” Which leads to a big fight, and finally a happy make-up when he shows her a painting he drew of their baby as he imagines him. She keeps working, and then has a miscarriage. The doctor tells them it is nothing to do with her working or stress or anything, but because of their blood types, it might be hard for them to conceive and carry a baby to term. She hides her feelings, and instead focuses on cheering him up, telling him it doesn’t matter, he will be a great artist, his paintings can be his legacy. And he does become successful after that. There is another happy moment when she comes home to discover he has bought new furniture and equipment for the whole apartment. And she cries for the old furniture, that was there when they first fell in love. So he surprises her with getting the old furniture back, and she cries again, because she kind of liked the new TV and the soft coach. And then he bursts out about how they think he is crazy, buy furniture and return furniture and buy it again, she will just have to be happy with this! But she is still crying so finally he says okay, after all it doesn’t hurt for an artist to be thought of as a little mad.
(Marital romance and fights and making up need more screen time in Hindi film)
As they remember all of these stories in the present, and dig through the cupboards and find left over food and equipment from the tenants and make a simple meal, they are getting closer and closer. And also talking about their lives in the present. He hasn’t sold a painting in 5 years, the last one was for an ad campaign under an assumed name. But he doesn’t care if his paintings sell or not, they are for him, not anyone else. She has the life her parents planned for her after all, as though their 10 year marriage never happened. She married a respectable man and has her son and her charities, it keeps her busy. Her husband knows about her embarrassing marriage to an artist, but they never talk about it. That was the deal, he can forget it if she can forget it. That’s why he can’t know about their meeting today.
Until finally some small thing reminds them of the last flashback, their last fight. Maybe him dripping water on the floor and her looking at that puddle and starting to sweep it up with a rag while yelling at him and suddenly they are thrown back to their final fight. He comes home late and excited, he has sold his biggest deal yet, an international collector who is going to feature it in a magazine article, this is it for them, the kind of money that can keep them in comfort forever, they can finally leave this pokey little flat. She complains that she likes this pokey little flat, it’s their home. The fight starts out light, just over whether or not to move out, back and forth, and then she casually asks which painting it was that he sold the collector, and he says “oh, it was A Rainy Day Miracle”, and she freezes. Because that was the painting he had made the night she told him she was pregnant. And it turns into a really really big fight. He tries to explain, that it was just part of the show, he hadn’t meant to sell it, he told the gallery not to sell, but this collector was so insistent and it could mean everything to them, it could change their whole lives. But she won’t listen, tries to explain to him what that picture meant to her, he finally seems to understand and offers to get it back, they don’t need the money, he can tell the collector he changed his mind, she bursts out that it doesn’t matter, even considering selling it means he is a different person now, she can’t understand him, doesn’t want to understand him, all he cares about is money and fame and himself. That’s why she eloped, to get away from that, he swore he would always love her more than himself, and it isn’t true any more, nothing is true, their marriage means nothing. And that was the end of it, she walked out.
In the present day, she stands up after remembering all of this and kind of backs away from him when he reaches out to her. He sits in the living room, while she wanders through the rooms of the house, looking out the windows at the rain, waiting for it to be over so she can escape. She tries doors and looks around, and then finds a door that locks. She tries it again, puzzled, and then looks to make sure he is still just sitting in the living room, not seeing what she is doing, and pulls off a broach and uses the pin to manipulate the door lock, finally opening it. To discover a nursery. The walls are painted with pictures everywhere, even the floor and ceiling. And the old cradle that he had dragged home the day she had the miscarriage, is in there, painted as well. And hanging in the center of the wall is the picture he painted. He comes up behind her and explains “I did it after you left. It was all that kept me sane. A room for our child, a place where he can exist even if he never existed anywhere else.”
(Same kind of feeling as this, which came after a similar but different sort of moment)
She looks at him for a moment, and then suddenly runs out like it is all too much. He chases after her, her car is still stuck so she runs to the street trying to wave down a rickshaw. He tries to stop her, grabs her, begs her to let him take her home, she shouldn’t be out in this weather like this, she pulls away and jumps in the rickshaw.
Back home, the servants are upset to see her so disheveled, she ignores them, and rushes to her room to pace, finally pulling out a photo of her son. And she calls to her maid to help pack, because she is going to his school a day early, she thinks perhaps she will take him out of class and they will go on tour together. The maid warns that the rains are bad, she says it doesn’t matter.
And then we fade ahead and into the lawyer’s office again. She is sitting there looking subtly different. Casual cotton clothing, loose hair, less make-up. The lawyer is telling her that the dissolution of shared assets is finished, is she sure she is okay with this deal? She says firmly that yes, she is, she wants nothing else from him. The lawyer hands her a pen, she signs, and hands the papers over, and we see that it is her present husband who is signing as well. He looks angry and glares at her, but she looks levely back. And then he snaps out “I should have known better, I get new cars, new houses, why did a take a wife who was pre-owned?” She flinches a little but keeps looking at him. He walks to the door and then turns back and says “You can have the boy. I was never really sure he was mine anyway.” She looks back at him steadily and says “He wasn’t. But that was your fault, not mine”.
And then we see her leave the office, go down to a rickshaw and take it to the apartment. She goes inside and thanks the maid for staying with her son, asking how he is doing, the maid says he is fine, her son has been playing with him, they are drawing pictures. She goes over and admires their pictures, and kisses her son and asks him how he likes his new school. And then goes and hangs the pictures in the nursery, which still has the cradle in it, but also a little bed for her son.
Later that night the maid mentions when she is leaving that the landlord stopped by that day. Said he just wanted to meet the new tenants. He drew pictures with the boys for a while. She tries not to react, goes and looks in on her son, and then goes and paces in the living room before finally grabbing her bag and opening the door, clearly planning to go to her ex-husband. Only to find him standing on the doorway outside. She backs up, he walks in, and as the rain starts to pour down outside, they finally kiss.
Ex-wife: Kajol? Rani? Juhi? Vidya?
Current Husband: Ajay, just to be cheeky? Rohit Roy? Randeep Hooda?
Past life Husband: Shahrukh in young make-up OR Rajkummar Rao? Sushant Singh Rajput? Varun?
Past life Wife: Present actress in young make-up OR Deepika? Anushka? Alia?
Or, time machine ideal version:
Ex-wife: Jenifer Kendal
Current Husband: Sanjeev Kumar
And, as always, if we could make only one of these, which would you make?