Silly Sunday: Happy Birthday Sanjay, Here is My Best Sanjay FanFic EVER

Sorry sorry sorry!  Yesterday just completely wiped me out (22 guests is too many guests, especially when one of them has severe dementia and 4 of them are small children).  So I literally have not left my bed all day, and every time I try to think straight and come up with a brilliant fanfic, it all just sort of floats away from me.  So I am doing a reprint and failing you, my faithful readers.  Oh well, at least it is a really good reprint, based on Daboo Ratnani photos and Sanjay Dutt and his dog.

Sanjay and His Dog

My favorite photo! Don’t you want to watch a movie about the two of them?

Image result for dabboo ratnani calendar 2018

As I see it, Sanjay is a specialized delivery guy. He has a tough SUV type car that he drives all over India, delivering things like rare artifacts and antiques. Stuff that is fragile and valuable, so you want a guy who is careful and reliable, but can travel unnoticed unlike a fancy armored car. Sanjay is an ex-cop who was security chair for a big company for a little bit, but didn’t like being tied down. He spend his whole career in Bombay, he wanted to see the rest of India in his retirement. So he started this specialized delivery service, the wealthy head of his company was his first client and recommended him to his wealthy friends. Now Sanjay travels India with his dog, named after his old partner on the police force, the one who got cancer two days after retirement and told Sanjay not to waste his life in one place doing one thing. Not sure where to go from there. I’ve got 3 ideas.

Option 1: Sanjay is given the job by his boss of delivering his boss’ wife (Madhuri), the traditional village girl he married before he hit it big, to their son’s house, Sanjay and the wife slowly fall in love without ever crossing the bounds of society because they are both righteous like that, Sanjay ends up taking her to her favorite place, their vacation home, instead of their son’s house and she gives him her favorite book of poems “to remember her by” and he reads it every night to his dog.

Option 2: Sanjay is contacted by the daughter of his old partner who wants a favor, which turns out to be taking her rowdy teenage son out of the city and along with him. Sanjay and the boy slowly bond, Sanjay learns the boy’s acting out started when his father left the family and now he hates his father, Sanjay becomes a father figure to him, and along the way the Skype calls to his mother imply that Sanjay and the Mom might possibly start something up once he is back in Bombay (Mom is obviously Madhuri again, a brilliant beautiful tough career woman who doesn’t need a man, but can enjoy having Sanjay to flirt with and pay for dinner every once in a while).

Option 3: Sanjay is told by his boss to deliver a mysterious box just across town, but not to open it. He does open it, and discovers a young girl inside. She is traumatized and mute. Sanjay takes off on a cross-India journey following clues to unravel the huge human trafficking conspiracy, beating people up and freeing girls as he goes. And bringing the original girl along with him so she can identify the big boss/because she can only sleep if she holds onto the dog. He donates the money he gathered to nuns who run a home for girls and have taken in the girls he rescued. He leaves the little girl at the home, leaving behind the dog as well with orders to take care of her, but she and the dog run after the car calling for him, and finally the end of the film is us seeing from a distance the car stop, and the door open, and the little girl and dog climb in, implying that Sanjay will continue traveling India with Dog and Girl, forming an odd little family of broken people.

Siddharth and his Feet

Image result for dabboo ratnani calendar 2018

Siddharth is a multimillionaire playboy with a strange foot fetish. He hires women through the massive human trafficking system Sanjay is taking down, adult women who only need to massage his feet. He is Sanjay’s first informant and, thanks to Sanjay’s goodness influencing him, starts to realize that maybe his demands aren’t unreasonable and perhaps he can bring them up with his beloved wife instead of just hiring people to fulfill them.

Tiger the Roadside Performer


Tiger is a performer on the roadside, Madhuri makes Sanjay pull over so they can watch him and laughs with delight, her face lighting up. Sanjay later tells her that, when he was young, he used to do that, display his muscles to show off for the women he liked. Madhuri teases him about it, and then admits that she wishes some man had done that, she had never even seen a man’s body before her wedding night.

Shahrukh the Aging Vampire


Sanjay and The Boy have to deliver fresh blood to Shahrukh. Sanjay is mysterious about what they are delivering and why, the Boy begins to realize what is happening and gets more and more scared while Sanjay is strangely formal with Shahrukh, and Shahrukh is terrifyingly different. He forces The Boy to come forward and let him touch him. The Boy puts up with it, and then Shahrukh dismisses him. And he and Sanjay immediately drop the act and it becomes clear that they are old friends, Sanjay has been doing these blood deliveries for years, Shahrukh was just playing up the scary Vampire act in order to teach The Boy a lesson, in fact he is a nice Vampire. He also teases Sanjay when Madhuri calls while they are talking, and tells Sanjay that he should try some romance on her.

Arjun Rampal the Eccentric Architect


Arjun Rampal is an eccentric genius, Sanjay has to deliver a particular special kind of tea to him, without which he claims not to be able to work. Sanjay finds him striding back and forth on the edge of the high rise he is building. This is Sanjay’s intro scene, we learn his personality by the very practical way he responds to Arjun’s poetics, while at the same time being understanding and intelligent enough to appreciate them. And through the way that Arjun clearly respects him, we understand why Sanjay can find these wealthy clients and get them to trust him with their special missions.

Farhan Akhtar is the Big Bad


Sanjay has climbed his way higher and higher up the ladder to discover who is at the top of the human trafficking. He finally comes into the grounds of a mansion to find Farhan, who recites elaborate justifications for having made millions by importing and exporting little girls, while walking into his swimming pool fully dressed to show how societal practices are meaningless, nothing is really “wrong”. And then points out “you agree with me, don’t you? Why else would you have listened to me for so long?” Sanjay turns to the dog and the girl and orders the dog to “guard” and the girl to “put your head on his chest”, and then turns back and said “It’s easy to clean blood out of a pool, that’s why” and shoots him.

Varun Dhawan as The Boy


Varun when Sanjay first met him wore sunglasses all the time, constantly fiddled with his hair, didn’t want to get oil on his designer clothes, and was just generally terrible. Finally, after Shahrukh the Vampire spooked him and some other stuff happened, they see a truck broken down by the side of the road. Sanjay stops to help, Varun asks why, since it’s not their truck. Sanjay gives him a lesson about how it is everyone’s responsibility to help everyone, and also tells him that there is no point to his gym body if he never uses it for anything. And then Sanjay lifts up the massive truck tire on his own and challenges Varun to do the same. Varun struggles and struggles, dropping his sunglasses, letting his hair get messy, stripping off his fine clothes, and finally succeeds, and then collapses on the ground and and receives sincere thanks from the truck driver, a life changing moment, realizing he can do something for others and get more satisfaction from it than doing something for himself.

Hrithik, Eccentric Fun House Owner


Early on their journey, Sanjay has to stop and deliver some mirrors to a funhouse. He leaves Madhuri in the car, but she leaves it and slowly starts walking around. This is how he sees her face for the first time, the mirror catches it under her veil and he is struck by her beauty. Hrithik, the eccentric funhouse owner, sees it too and remarks on it, and Sanjay shuts him down by saying “she’s not for us, wealthy wife of a wealthy man”, which Madhuri overhears and it hurts her. Makes her ask, much later in the film, if she really has no more value to herself than simply the wife of a wealthy man.

Amitabh, Dead Partner in a Dream Vision


Late in all 3 films, Sanjay gets drunk and falls asleep. He has flashes of his dead partner, working with him, slowly and painfully dying, and then suddenly a vision of him smiling and riding a back. Sanjay wakes and feels strangely happier, he has a sense that his partner is in a better place now, it resolves the last bit of pain in his heart and brings him peace. It makes him able to open enjoy his memories of Madhuri-open his heart to his partner’s grandson-decide to be a father to little rescued girl.

Akshay as Absentee Father


This is The Boy/Varun’s last memory of his father. Living on the estate of his wealthy second wife, spoiling his horses, but with no interest in giving money to help his own son. Varun was left in the car while Madhuri went in to talk to him, but he could see from a distance the way Akshay lavished love on the horses, while not even caring enough to come to the car to say “hello” to his own son.

Aamir Khan the Lowly Human Trafficker


Sanjay takes the little girl to the address given, the door is opened by this guy in a t-shirt and shorts and sandals, the house seems deserted. He claims to be the little girl’s “uncle” and says her parents died in a car crash, she hasn’t spoken since then and pretends not to even know him. The little girl hides behind the dog. Sanjay pretends to believe Aamir, but asks if he can have a glass of water. Aamir goes to get the water, Sanjay takes the opportunity to leave the girl behind with an order to the dog to “guard” and follows Aamir into the kitchen. He grabs him from behind and puts him in a sleeper hold and knocks him out, then quickly starts searching the house, eventually finding a trap door and opening it to see drugged little girls sleeping in a heap in the basement. He carries them upstairs and leaves them in the sunshine outside where they start to wake up, with the dog and his Little Girl watching, then goes back inside and calls his old friends on the police force to tell him there are a bunch of kidnapped children at this address, and also a dead body. Aamir starts to wake up, gets out a brief “wha-” and before he can finish the sentence, Sanjay gently slides a kitchen knife into him. And then takes his cell phone and looks through the contacts, which is how he finds Sidharth.

Abhishek as Madhuri’s Spoiled Son


Sanjay is supposed to deliver Madhuri to live with her son in his house. But Abhishek can barely be bothered to remove his shades to look her in the eye. Madhuri has just begun to open up to Sanjay, she isn’t brave enough to tell him she doesn’t want to stay. But Sanjay can tell this is no place for her, with a spoiled rich son who was raised by his father’s second wife in order to give him “class” more than by his own village educated mother.

Aishwarya as Madhuri’s Disrespectful Daughter-in-Law


Abhishek hands Madhuri off to his wife Aish, who has no time for her. Shows her a room off the kitchen, tells her not to go into the main area of the house without permission, their friends wouldn’t be comfortable with her. Madhuri agrees silently, but looks so pitiful sitting on her plain bed with her small suitcase that Sanjay can’t leave her there, and instead starts gently needling Aish until she needles Abhishek, and they decide that Sanjay can take Madhuri to her favorite of their small vacation houses, to live her life alone and independent instead of hidden away in the backroom. And thus the second part of their journey starts, Sanjay and Madhuri traveling alone with her husband knowing where they are going, and Madhuri preparing to rediscover herself and what she wants from life, not living as a servant in other’s homes.

Alia as Varun’s ex-Girlfriend


After they start to bond, Varun asks Sanjay over and over about the photo of a woman he keeps in his car, and Sanjay finally offers to tell his love story if Varun tells his. Varun tells his whole sad story, while we see Alia in flashback. She was the rich girl in school, told him he looked cool in shades, snuck out to see him and go to discos. And then left him behind when her rich father sent her to study overseas. After Varun bares his soul, Sanjay laughs and tells him the photo in the truck is from a magazine, he just thought it looked nice. This comes back again at the end when Madhuri gives Sanjay a photo of herself and suggests he keep it in the truck instead of the magazine lady.

Sonakshi Sinha as Hardened Ex-Trafficking Victim


Sanjay follows clues to a dance club where he is told to talk to “Sona”. Sonakshi comes out and does a blazing item number, and then finds Sanjay in her dressing room. She goes for the gun she has hidden, Sanjay pulls his own gun, standoff. But then LittleGirl appears and Sanjay reassures her lovingly that it is all okay they are just playing, and Sonakshi hesitates and starts to trust him because he is so kind to Little Girl. She tells her story, she was kidnapped like LittleGirl, barely remembers her parents, just soft hands and warm voices. She escaped when she was 15 and did what she had to to survive and make money. Finally, she opened this dance club, takes money from the men all night but doesn’t let them touch her, and spreads the word on the streets that you will be safe if you can get to “Sona’s”. She gives Sanjay the information he needs to go further, and Sanjay tries to leave Little Girl with her, but Sona says no, because all these girls want is a family and to feel safe, and if Little Girl is lucky enough to have found that with Sanjay, she should stay with him.

Jacqueline Fernandez as Friendly Cool Girl


Sanjay and Varun have to deliver a special sound system to Jacqueline. She lives in a big house and is a movie starlet, and all cool and rich, but is also friendly to both Sanjay and Varun. Varun clearly gets a big crush on her right away. She gives Sanjay a kiss on his cheek when she says good-bye, a routine with them when he does a delivery, and he asks her to give a kiss to Varun too, because he is getting over a broken heart. After they leave, Sanjay gives Varun a little lesson. First, that his heart wasn’t really broken if he can forget his girlfriend so quickly when he meets another pretty girl. And second, that Jacqueline has had a life much worse than his, she first met Sanjay when he came to her house on a domestic disturbance call. He took her to a recovery home, and she worked as a model to pay rent after she got out, eventually getting a break in movies. But she never let herself get bitter or lost in the past.

Kajol in the Magazine


This is the magazine photo Sanjay has which he teases Varun by making mysterious, when in fact it was just a photo he liked, he thought she seemed like a nice person.

Kriti Sonam Stripper Madhuri Bonds With


At a remote roadside stop, Kriti is doing a raunchy stripper act. Sanjay tries to steer Madhuri away, but she is fascinated. And afterwards, she insists that Sanjay introduce her to the dancer. Kriti is at first aggressively crude, but Madhuri ignores that and instead asks her about the dance move she did and where she learned it. It comes out that Kriti and Madhuri had the same dance teacher. But while Madhuri went on to use her skills to get a good marriage and then never perform again, Kriti ran away from home to avoid marriage and now travels the country performing in sleazy bars. They both realize they are a little jealous of the other, but finally that they are happy with the lives they had, Madhuri would not want to spend her life traveling and being in public, Kriti would not want to be locked away inside a house. That night Sanjay wakes up and sees Madhuri dancing alone by the side of the road, just for herself.

Parineeti as a Crazy Former Trafficking Victim


While sneaking in to one of the trafficking enclaves, out of the corner of his eye Sanjay sees this sad sight.

Priyanka as Drugged Trafficking Victim


Sanjay sees her in Farhan’s house as he is leaving, having killed Farhan. He slaps her to alertness and puts clothes on her, and brings her out to the sunshine.

Shraddha Kapoor, Varun’s Dirty Picture


Another learning moment, Sanjay notices Varun hiding something after they stop at a truck stop, and finds this picture in his bag. Varun argues that there is no harm in it, this woman doesn’t know he is fantasizing about her, how is it different from Sanjay’s Kajol photo? Sanjay reminds Varun that this woman is someone’s sister, someone’s daughter, his like his little sister. He doesn’t judge her for allowing this photo of her to be taken, they can’t know why she was forced to do it, but he does judge people like Varun who see her as just a photo, as disposable. Kajol was his sister, a reminder of the good nice women in the world. This is something different. Later in the film, at the same time that Sanjay replaces Kajol with Madhuri, Varun puts a nice photo of Jacqueline in his wallet to replace Alia, a reminder as he goes back into the world to think of women as people.

Sunny Leone as an Undercover Cop


Sanjay stumbles across a sub-product of the human trafficking operation, their porn wing. He rescues a girl who thought it was a regular modeling assignment and is being forced to pose, and then finds Sunny like this in the next room. He tries to rescue her, she resists, and then when gunfire starts (by now Farhan has sent a team of goons to try to find and kill Sanjay, this was a trap), she pulls a gun from her bucket and reveals that she is an undercover cop looking for evidence of underage photos in order to shut this place done. She helps Sanjay get out, and gives him her number if he needs help, he calls her regularly to clean up after him at other crime scenes.

Vidya Balan as Madhuri’s New Roommate


This is the woman Sanjay leaves Madhuri with. They arrive at the vacation home to find that she is already living there. Madhuri didn’t know, but she explains that she is the daughter of their old caretaker. She is also a widow, came back to live with her father, and after he died, stayed on. She and Madhuri immediately have a connection, it is clear that she will be a caring and good companion for Madhuri and vice versa, they will live happily together in this small house.

Well, I am pretty satisfied with all of these movies!!!!!

Which one should we make? And any changes to casting/characters?


3 thoughts on “Silly Sunday: Happy Birthday Sanjay, Here is My Best Sanjay FanFic EVER

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