Oh heck, we are 10 days into Shahrukh month, and I feel like we haven’t really fully explored the joy of this holiday season. Let’s get sexual!
I’m gonna give my top 3 picks because I can’t decide between them, in no particular order:
MNIK Rizwan. I feel like his focus on learning things and doing them correctly would be a big help. And of course, we know he is amazing working with his hands.
Robot G.One. He’s a ROBOT!
Paheli. He is an all powerful entity whose whole purpose is to please you.
Okay, who are your top 3 picks?
Bonus question: If you removed the G.One and Paheli powers, would they still be in the top 3? Or would they drop off the list?
dontcallitbollywood 
How are there no comments on this post???? Are you all waiting until your children/spouses are in bed?????
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Bahahaha, I love this.
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Hmmmmm this is difficult. The first one that comes to mind is K3G SRK, but that could just be because he is my all-time favorite SRK. And he and his wife flirt so much! Something is going right there. But of course, that doesn’t mean he is the best at sex. DDLJ Raj might be terrible at sex, because he’s only (I think), been with one woman long-term. That makes him good at reading her, but maybe not amazing at sex overall.
Paheli, I suppose, in a fantasy way, from your 3 options. He seems like he can switch it up, so him!
Can we have a post on the worst at SRK sex? My votes: Raj Aryan and Devdas.
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Oh man, Devdas would be SO BAD at sex!!!!! The alcoholism alone is bad, but then there’s all the weeping and self-doubt and demand that it is all about him-him-him all the time.
On Tue, Oct 12, 2021 at 6:59 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Wait! Someone good at it: Ashoka! He’s a warrior, is clearly well-versed in body language.
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And he got his wife pregnant, like, immediately! And orgasms are supposed to help with implantation and stuff, right? So that’s a good sign.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 3:24 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’m with you, t and t! Asoka all the way. Something about heroes and how they’re good at everything.
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I vote for Harry, Jug, then Paheli
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OMG, how did I forget Harry and Jug??? Two characters who we know for sure are experienced.
On Tue, Oct 12, 2021 at 10:45 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yes, waiting for bedtime lol. This is a tough one. Characters I wanna sex because I find them irresistible vs the ones that would be great in bed.
Because the mind is the biggest erogenous zone I’ll start w the first.
1. Harry because he’s so so so hot even though he’s probably a selfish lover pre-Sejal.
2. Jug because of my forever therapist fantasy that I cannot discuss without crying a little bit.
3. Kabir Khan (in a twist) bc it would be so fun to see him lose his carefully crafted control
Back soon
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I will say this, I feel like if Kabir decided to be a good lover, he would work harder and practice more and plan things out even MORE than MNIK SRK.
On Tue, Oct 12, 2021 at 11:28 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’d like to see that whiteboard of plays. Or how he might figure it out with little dishes on a table.
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little bananas and mangos….
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 3:42 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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MNIK 8 minutes scene is hilarious! But it doesn’t leave me confident in my own pleasure. Hmmmm. DDLJ his love is so extreme if I am sure he would put my pleasure first. JHMS – Harry is clearly skilled. Darr – It would be INTENSE!
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Darr would be INTENSE, but similar to Devdas, I would worry about him breaking down in tears or some such nonsense in the middle.
On Tue, Oct 12, 2021 at 11:57 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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They will be super sexy tears.
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I haven’t seen Ra.One and I wonder how a robot can be a good lover? Does he have some kind of sex software? Is he made of steel there in the lower parts? So many questions 😉
My choices:
Jug – because he is experienced and cool
Paheli SRK – he made a lot to be with the woman he loves and I’m sure he’ll put it all to make her happy
Samar (JTHJ) – no matter if it’s on a roof, phone booth or bedroom, he is always ready.
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Ra.One: They establish he can grow body parts down there as needed, presumably to order. And, when he touches Kareena, there is a tiny little spark. So there are interesting possibilities.
Jug is cool! And experienced. And clearly good at reading people and what they need.
With Samar, I worry about him insisting on weird places, if he has some kind of exhibitionism need. A Phone Booth seems REALLY uncomfortable.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 6:06 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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So in other words Ra.One robot is just a fancy sex toy? I still prefer sexy ghost.
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He also fights off villains and things! So he keeps himself busy around the house.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 12:41 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Paheli is a good choice. Rani sure doesn’t look like she has any complaints.
The straight laced repressed ones are always best in the bedroom (not really, but that’s the fantasy), so I’m thinking Kabir Khan or Suri from RNBDJ.
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Finally someone mentions Suri from RNBDJ. He just feels like he would be better than he thinks he is, doesn’t he? And certainly Anushka looks delighted. And he will go above and beyond to make her happy.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 7:05 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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1. Harry. He is HOT. He has a ton of experiance and a very healthy sex drive. I would assume he would be very good in bed. Maybe a bit selfish, but there is something to be said about technique and a healthy appetite.
2. Rahul from K3G. I just LOVE the chemistry and flirtyness between him and Kajol. The sex would just be so fun and light and happy and romantic. Happy fun sex = good sex.
3. Kabir Khan. OOOF I am with Rachel. It’s the challange! He is just so tightely wound. It would be so fun to get him to lose that control.
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1. I think if you manage to trigger his massive messy guilt complex, he would get less selfish. So work on that!
2. Also, I kind of suspect Rahul was a little bit experienced. London girls….
3. Yeah, but you might have to wait like 5 years while he carefully plans out the exact way he wants to do it.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 9:54 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Re: Kabir, no waiting!!! The whole point is to get him to lose control. He will not have the chance to think and plan. He will be seduced out of his control by me, Rachel, or Ms. Braganza. .
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But he only loses control for patriotism! you are going to have to somehow convince him you are the incarnation of Mother India.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 12:20 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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OOOH! I will create a patriotic sex soundtrack! Start with some Vande Mataram from Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani and Jana Gana Mana from K3G to get him into the mood. Next, I can add some I Love My India from Pardes, followed by Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, and of course end with some Chak De for good measure.
DONE! I have the perfect plan for Kabir. He doesn’t stand a chance with that soundtrack!
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Throw some World Cup winning moment flashbacks on the big screen TV, and I think you’ve got it.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 1:00 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I admit I read this as “the in-carnal-ation of Mother India.” My brain only thinks in puns.
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The In-carnal-ation of Mother India is when Nargis and Sunil have sex.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 3:26 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Omg I laughed so hard at this entire thread. Filmikudhi let’s make sure to throw in Aisa Des Hai Mera from VZ and Des Rangeela from Fanaa and he’s a goner for any of the three of us…
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Ooh! Those are great additions to the sex soundtrack!
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What about Don??? He looks like someone who has had a lot of practice and knows what he is doing in the bedroom!
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Counterpoint, he is so uninterested in Kareena dancing for him, does that mean he is selfish in bed?
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 3:31 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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But he seemed pretty interested in all the other women (PC, Lara Dutta, Isha Koppikar)….maybe Kareena wasn’t his thing…or he always knew about her plan so wasn’t interested…
And no I don’t think he will be selfish…he is obsessed with being the best so this should also extend to the bedroom…he doesn’t want women saying that Don is bad in bed!
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Oooo, good point about needing to be the best! Also, he is smart enough surely to realise that good sex is a good tool to use to control the people around him.
On Wed, Oct 13, 2021 at 8:13 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Kabir Khan, is very very very much like my spouse. All these people have chosen him. I have no complaints, and yet, it is kinda weird.
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After reading all these comments, I need a cigarette.
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And how about Raees? I haven’t seen the movie but I watched Zaalima video and it’s very sexy, and SRK looks like a strong, confident man who knows what he is doing. Mahira seems very happy with him.
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Raees definitely seems good, but I don’t know if I would say The Best.
On Thu, Oct 14, 2021 at 8:48 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Raees is a strong reply here.
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I haven’t read the “bad lovers” post yet, but what about Aman from KHNH? I would also consider having the emotions behind the sex makes a good lover, which Aman definitely fits. And I don’t think he would be bothered by his health issues.
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Excellent points! And he’s certainly good at reading other people’s reactions.
On Sat, Oct 23, 2021 at 5:48 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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