Internet Piracy for the win!!!! Stupid Hotstar.com, the legal website, won’t accept payment from outside India, even using a credit card. So I hunted and googled and got ten minutes into one video that was pulled literally as I was watching it, and finally a found a deep dark place that had a high quality version available which lasted long enough for me to see the whole show.
I loooooooooove watching Karan and Shahrukh interviews! Karan is just the funnest interviewer, and Shahrukh is the funnest interviewee. Of course, the all time best is is Karan-Kajol-Shahrukh interviews, talking over each other and kidding each other and not allowing each other to get away with anything. But just Karan and Shahrukh is pretty good. Oh, and Alia is there too.
I highly recommend, if you are in India or have an Indian based credit card, paying the 199 rupees to stream the episode. And if not, I wish you luck on your own epic quest through the highways and biways (sp?) of the internet! I’m not going to bother giving you links, because within a few minutes they are all going to be out of date.
(I am heartbroken that they are apparently no longer using this music video)
The whole episode is over an hour long, and I can’t possibly transcribe as fast as Shahrukh talks, and I am sure I am forgetting bits. But here are the parts I remember and really liked!
First, Karan takes Shahrukh shopping! Like, the way my Mom took me when I was ten! Karan started this story, about “you know what really embarrasses Shahrukh is when I take him shopping.” And then they traded back and forth and back and forth the way old friends do talking about what happens.
See, Karan, in his role as director or stylist or friend would take Shahrukh to a store. And walk him into the dressing room, hand him something, close the curtain, then make him come out and show him, and ASK STRANGERS WHAT THEY THOUGHT!!! Ugh, I’m with Shahrukh! So embarrassing!
I also love Shahrukh’s extreme embarrassment at the beginning when Karan is asking Alia about her love life. Especially when Karan says something about all the rumors that she has 3-4 boyfriends. Shahrukh says something about how he hopes not! Karan clarifies he doesn’t mean 3-4 at once, and Alia says yes 3-4, she is 23, that sounds about right. Shahrukh is shocked! He doesn’t think even over time a girl should have that many boyfriends! At one point, he announces he is just going to hide behind the coffee cup because he is blushing so much.
I also love Karan and Shahrukh’s little byplay about how Shahrukh wasn’t the season opener last year, which meant that Karan had to field a million questions about whether they weren’t close any more. And Shahrukh pointed out “I have to constantly prove my patriotism, you have to prove you love me!” Karan “Exactly!” Shahrukh “Perhaps we should just release that picture of us kissing? Or the nude shots?” And then he kept going, suggesting “or our wedding photos? Would that work, just tell them we are married and we fight like all couples?” Oh Shahrukh, how you taunt us! I would LOVE to see you and Karan nudes!
(Of course there are nude photos of Shahrukh in existence. We all know this, right? He did a sex scene in Maya Memsaab, they edited it down to just the moment he loses his pants in the final version, but these stills have been floating around forever)
Oh, and then Shahrukh said something interesting about how he isn’t happy in life, because he thinks he is too smart to be happy, and he wants to always do better. How he thinks he hasn’t yet made those 5 films that are classics that he wants at the end of his career. And he has now finished the first 25 years, it is time to think about what he wants to accomplish in the next 25. Blah Blah Blah, but these deep career discussions are NOT why I watch Koffee!
Rapid fire! My favorite Alia part: Question: “Who in the industry would you call Miss Congeniality?” “Kareena Kapoor” To which both Karan and Shahrukh say in concert “REALLY? Kareena?” and she says “Kareena, right? The one everyone likes” “No! Miss Congeniality is the one who is nice to everyone, very polite.” “Oh! NOT Kareena! Oh, I have to change my answer!” Ha! I love the general shock at the idea of Kareena ever being nice to people!
My Favorite Shahrukh Rapid Fire part: When he answers as Alia! And NAILS it! Alia also had to answer as Shahrukh, and she did a good job, but Shahrukh was amazing as Alia! Oh, and also when he had to give a pick up line, and he has the dorkiest stupidest pick-up line ever! “F— me if I’m wrong, but is your name Madhoshi?” To which everyone just stared and went “huh?” And then he had to explain “yes, because, see, if her name isn’t Madhoshi, then….” And Alia pointed out, “What if her name really is Madhoshi? Or what if she just lies that it is? how would you know?” And Shahrukh didn’t really have a good answer.
Basically, this is a line that sounds great when you are a teenage boy talking about it with your friends, but is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE LINE in the real world. Which just confirms for me that Shahrukh has never picked up a woman, just shyly asked Gauri to go out for a coke at age 18 and stopped trying. Because of course, I think we can all agree that the greatest pick-up line of all time is “Hi, I’m Shahrukh Khan.” Well, maybe a close second after “Hi, I’m Elvis.” Or, “Hi, I’m John Kennedy.”
Moment not to be missed: Shahrukh reading a recipe for butter chicken as though he was mid-orgasm.
Oh, and I really liked right at the end, when Karan puts in a big plug that we should all go see Dear Zindagi. And Shahrukh says “that’s really sweet of you, for something who’s got nothing to do with the film at all” (Karan is co-producing it).