Happy Friday! Last week I did traditional clothes, and did you notice I skipped Jodha-Akbar? That was on purpose! I had this in mind already, our kingly men.
We can have all sorts of historical discussions about this ruler or that ruler. But I think we should remember the most important consideration, Who Was The Hottest King?
First, a variety of Akbar and Hrithik options. This top is a bit blousy, but I like how foofy his hair looks.
Now see, all this embroidery is nice, but we can’t see his hair under the hat!
This might be the best overall look.
Or, of course, this:
Akbar was the greatest king in India, but he has a historical competitor, Asoka. And Hrithik has a competitor in the “hottest King” stakes, Shahrukh.
Now, feel free to disagree with me, but I find Shahrukh‘s long Asoka hair strangely similar to the stuff I pull out when I snake my shower drain.
See, the short hair in-disguise-as-a-peasant look is just so much better for him!
Although I might allow for this sort of hybrid affect, with the modern bangs and kind of mullet long hair in back.
Speaking of hair, what’s our feeling about Ranveer in Bajirao? Great performance, sure, but how sexy is it? This sort of works for me, partly because of his intense look, and partly because his head stubble is a little more noticeable. (and, of course, strangely similar to a wolf puppy)
But then there’s this, with the hat and all, and I just don’t know. Although his expression is still great.
I think I might like him best in full noble warrior-who’s-seen-things mode.
Obviously, we have to old-school with this, and throw in a Prince Salim option. Sure, Mughal-E-Azam is the greatest historical in film history, but does that necessarily mean that Dilip Sahib was the hottest possible ruler? On the other hand, he is pretty cute:
And romantic:
Veer is only sort of historical. But I feel we should at least give the option of more of a guerrilla fighter type of king. Although, again, it is a wig with that distinctive shower drain feel to it.
Possibly better in western wear:
And finally, it is a Salman movie after all, let’s let him show off his most famous feature:
Now, there is one king that it occurs to me I have been missing. He is clearly the best and hottest historical king, but which of these three options most clearly evoke him?
Oh and finally, as always, Garam-Dharam! From Razia Sultan, which is kind of historical.
dontcallitbollywood 
Does Bahubali count as a king? Or do we have to wait for part two?
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These are real historical kings. I think. I don’t remember if Razia Sultan was based on a true story or not.
On Fri, Feb 3, 2017 at 4:14 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Heck, that’s a two-fer. Rana even with the gray streaks in his hair is pretty hot.
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But he’s eeeeeeeevil! No! It would be WRONG! On the other hand, I did seriously consider Rana from Rudhramadevi. Who wasn’t strictly speaking a king, but he was a king-consort by the end.
On Fri, Feb 3, 2017 at 4:26 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Oh no. I don’t find any of these looks hot 😦 Except Salman in western wear.
Looking forward to this series again next Friday.
I wonder what the theme will be…gangster? Hot dads? That sounds creepy but I mean the likes of SRK in KKHH or Salman in Jab Pyar Kisse Se Hota Hai
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Haven’t I already done hot Dads? I thought I did.
But I know I haven’t done gangster! That’s going on my long term planning list. But not for next week, I already have a thing ready.
Also, really? Salman in western wear? More than Hrithik as a Mughal?
On Fri, Feb 3, 2017 at 4:33 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Oh maybe I wasn’t following you back then. I’ll go have a look.
Yeah..I don’t find Hrithik appealing in any way unfortunately 😦
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That is tragic indeed! He’s not my favorite, a little too perfect most of the time, but I can usually find SOME appeal to him.
Also, ta-da! I knew I’d done a Dad thing before:
On Fri, Feb 3, 2017 at 4:36 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Of that selection I reckon Hrithik is the hottest (sorry SRK!). Salman does not do long hair well at all.
I would be fascinated to know how they make those kingly Bajirao hats.
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I make costumes for my friend sometimes, and it is always amazing to me how lazy you can be with theater stuff versus “real” close. Wouldn’t be surprised if the Bajirao hat is just glue gun and staples.
Although, this is Bhansali, he does like to over think. It’s possible he spent 100s of crores on research and development and dozens of individual Bajirao hats. If I ever break into Ranveer’s house, along with his Dabboo calendars I will also try to grab some hats for us to analyze. but first the calendar.
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Hee hee.
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Hrithik as Akbar is the reason I watch Hindi films now…sigh. But how about the real royal hero, one of my other favorites, Saif Ali Khan. I couldn’t find an image of him in the cameo in Khoobsurat, but here’s one of my favorite looks:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoW3Zx_-3h8
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Actually, I really really like this figure skating video.
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Ha, that’s so funny! I meant to share this photo. By the way, James and Cipres are my favorite current pairs skaters and they’re awesome!
file:///Users/kimberlytully/Desktop/saif-770×466.jpg
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OK, I give up! But one more try.
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Ooo! That is nice! Well worth the multiple tries.
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FWIW, from a historical costume point of view, the shower drain hair is more accurate than sleek, shiny locks. Especially on the battleground.
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But it’s so ugly! Couldn’t we write in a lengthy scene in which a priestess tells our hero that he will only succeed if he bathes his head in oils and perfumes every night for 20 minutes? And also she gives him a home made brush and makes him swear to use it a hundred times before each fight?
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