Monthly Archives: December 2015

News Roundup-Old Scandals Dredged up

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So, I should really lead with Manuj Kumar being released from the hospital.  Evergreen actor, produced/starred/directed all time classics, and so on and so on.  But I will wait until there is a funeral and all the important modern people have to go to it and be polite, for once, to their various nemesises.  My favorite kind of news slideshow!  People in white trying not to look like they want to punch each other!  So for now, I will just hope that Manuj is comfortable and leave him in peace.

More importantly, Ram Gopal Varma is dredging up the Sridevi/Boney scandal!  And also continues to be the creepiest man on earth.  Apparently, in his book “Guns and Thighs” (blech!  So Freudian I could vomit!), he talks in great detail about Sridevi’s thighs and how they lead him to fall in love with her and become a filmmaker and why she is still his favorite star.  Creepy!  Creepy creepy creepy!  Normally I don’t like it when Indian husbands get all aggressive about their wives’ honor, but in this case I think Boney Kapoor was totally justified in calling him out on it.  And, hopefully, he also increased the security on his wife and daughters.  Anyway, as quoted in rediff.com, here is RGV’s response to Boney’s angry comments and threat of lawsuits:

‘My advise to Boney is to read my full article in “Guns and Thighs” on Srideviji before spewing venom on me.  I as a fan have more respect for Srideviji than what Boney has for her as a wife..only Srideviji will know the truth of this in her heart,’

‘Srideviji’s fame is not only because of her acting capacity but it’s also because of her thundering thighs –top critics of Himmatwala time. If only acting talent is a measure for stardom why was’nt Smita Patil bigger than Srideviji..The thunder thighs made the difference,’

‘I respect Srideviji for her thighs,her smile,her acting talent,her sensitivity,her persona and above all I respect her love for Boney,’

 

Okay, dude, just because the “top critics of Himmatwala time” said her thundering thighs made her a star, doesn’t mean you aren’t being creepy for talking about them now.  It just means they were creepy back then and you are creepy now.  Plus, I think in complimenting Smita Patil, you may have accidentally insulted Sridevi AGAIN.  Maybe instead say “If acting talent is taken as a measure for stardom, why wasn’t Smita Patil as big as Srideviji.”  Or maybe talk about Sridevi’s dancing ability and smart fashion sense that highlighted her body, rather than just her body?  Or maybe just don’t be so unutterably creepy that everything which comes out of your mouth makes me want to take a shower?

But did you notice the little comments about her and Boney?  Like, Boney doesn’t appreciate her but she is trapped by her love for him?  Totally bringing up that whole “Boney seduced her and then kept her as his side piece until she got pregnant at which point he divorced his wife and married her at the last minute” scandal.  RGV probably meant to make Boney look bad, and I doubt it even occurred to him that Sridevi wouldn’t want to think about that time either.  Heck, he probably thinks she loves being reminded of her uncontrollable devotion to one man, because isn’t that what all woman aspire towards?  Their holy devotion to their husbands being their only identifying feature?  Sita and Radha had such happy lives, after all!  Anyway, I suspect the real story was a little more of a “Sridevi knew her career would be over as soon as she got married and preferred to be independent as long as possible and then planned a pregnancy right when her career was dropping off a little anyway” kind of thing.  Either way, though, maybe if RGV really respected her, he wouldn’t bring it up at all.

Speaking of bringing up old scandals, rumor has it that Sanjay Gupta is casting his next and wants Hrithik and Kareena in it.  Hrithik is easy, just give a job to his Dad and he will do anything.  Apparently, Rakesh is on board in some capacity (actor? producer? second director?  Who knows!  He is theoretically competent in all those roles!), so Hrithik is too.  But Kareena would be a feat.  Back in the early 2000s, when they co-starred in a bunch of films, their onscreen chemistry and long hours working together lead to the usual affair rumors.  At the time, Kareena was dating Shahid Kapoor, and just barely out of her teens, and Hrithik was married to his high school sweetheart, Suzanne Khan, who also happened to be part of a super powerful producing family.  An affair would have made neither of them look good, Hrithik for seducing a young girl from a very good family, and Kareena for breaking up the marriage of another woman from another very good family.  So they stopped working together, and talking at parties, and sitting next to each other at awards shows, and so on and so on.

And then a couple of years ago, Karan Johar’s perpetually in pre-production Shuddhi was rumored to have them cast as a pair.  It had been ten years since the rumors were hot, Hrithik was still married (and was rumored to have moved on to affairs with other inappropriate women), and Kareena was now married to a powerful husband who had the pull to make sure any rumors of onset hanky-panky would be scotched immediately.

And then Shudhi fell apart (again), and Hrithik got divorced, and a Kareena-Hrithik pairing possibility disappeared.  But now it’s been what, two years at least since the divorce?  No possibility of rumors that Kareena is the one who caused it at this point, she and Saif are still going strong, this could actually work!  And I would kind of love to see them in a Sanjay Gupta film.  Lots of sexy item numbers for Kareena to have fun with, lots of glossy action sequences for Hrithik, and I kind of want to see the crazy Sanjay Gupta lighting filters shining on Rakesh’s bald head.

And if Manuj Kumar does die soon, then all of these people can run into each other at his funeral and give bare-teethed smiles captured by the camera and I will laugh and laugh.

Dilwale Watch!

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So, I am of course obsessed with Dilwale.  The image above was my computer wallpaper for months, until I finally replaced it with this:

dfg

Anyway, after months of anticipation, we finally have 3 and a half trailers!  And I have many, many thoughts.

First, this one, the full length trailer:

 

So, along with this trailer release, there were  a bunch of tidbits from interviews, and the one I grabbed onto the most was a hint that it might possibly be a plot similar to Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (full movie available on indiancine.ma).

Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (If It Goes, Call It a Car!), if you haven’t seen it, is a total delight!  Ashok Kumar, Kishore Kumar, and Anoop Kumar, brothers in real life, play brothers onscreen.  And Madhubala plays a sexy funny happy rich girl. Bonus: it also makes you feel better about Madhubala’s real life romantic tragedies, her failed love affair and broken heart with Dilip Kumar, and then rebound marriage with Kishore. With Dilip, onscreen, she is always “oh, poor me, my tragic love that can never be!”  With Kishore, she is all “this is great!  I am sexy and confident and flirty!”  And if that is the effect the two men had on her in real life as well, then I am glad she went with the drama-less but fun and funny choice!

Anyway, the 3 brother characters own a garage, the two younger brothers fall for Madhubala and her best friend, but their big brother hates women and romance and doesn’t want them to get married.  So they investigate and find out that years earlier, big brother’s heart was broken, which is when he turned anti-romance.  So they track down the woman who broke his heart, it was all a misunderstanding, she still loves him too, and it ends with happiness all round for all 3 couples.  And also, there is some plot about crooks after Madhubala’s inheritance or something, but it’s not important.

So, Dilwale, based on the first trailer and the Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi comments, is possibly taking the brothers-running-a-garage, older-brother-against-romance-because-of-past-romance, and younger-brother-tracks-down-lost-love plots and running with them.  I am pumped!  Young-hair Shahrukh falls in love with Kajol and is also some kind of action hero!  She betrays him in some way, and then years later hot-bearded-Shahrukh meets her again!  A romance track in two time periods!  Plus, he is a bossy and protective older brother, which is just super sexy!  And Varun is there too, being nice and funny.  It’s all good!

Then, trailer 2, which I have to admit, was a HUGE disappointment to me:

 

It just, somehow, doesn’t feel like they are connecting, or something?  The director, I think, said in an interview that it is all meant to be a metaphor for how the characters are separated from each other, and I am sure that is all very nice, but I want to see the SRKajol chemistry!  Plus, I don’t like Shahrukh’s voice for this.  At least, I don’t like him as Shahrukh’s voice.  The same singer apparently sang “Tum Hi Ho” from Aashiqui 2, which I love, but his voice is somehow too rough for what I think of as Shahrukh’s sound.  And everyone seems very stiff and uncomfortable the whole time.  Although Iceland looks gorgeous!

Thankfully, skipping ahead, trailer 3.5 explains some of this:

First, HOW CUTE ARE THEY!?!?!  I loved that opening intro bit, I love when he puts a coat around her between shots, I love them practicing the dance moves together, I love it all!  Why couldn’t there be more of that cute interaction in the actual song?

Second, no wonder they were so stiff!  They were literally freezing!  Did you catch that they talked about how they couldn’t even lipsynch at one point because their lips were freezing together?  Yes, the image of the big floaty sari against barren land is beautiful, but I would have been fine with sweaters and coats if it would have led to looser movements and better lipsynching.

I am ashamed to say it, but with all the problems with “Gerua”, I think I actually like trailer 3 with the young people better than the SRKajol Epic Love Song.

 

It just seems fun!  And young and silly and catchy.  Plus, I think they are doing a nice update of some traditional song ideas in a modern setting.  Kind of like “Halla Re” from Neal ‘n Nikki (which was a really odd movie, but “Halla Re” is still good!).  In that one, the lyrics literally say “I’m not a traditional girl, I don’t have a bindiya or anklets or any of the usual Indian feminine trappings, but I am still waiting for a boy to love and a boy to love me.”  Anyway, this feels kind of the same.

They are wearing modern clothes, it’s a sort of hip-hop beat, they use autotune, but they are expressing very traditional feelings.  It’s all metaphors about the heart, she even calls him her “Typical desi lover.”  Compare this with, for instance,  Varun’s song from Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania “Lucky Tu, Lucky Me.”  I mean, even the title of the song (which is also the chorus), is about having sex!  That’s not even subtle!  The title of the movie itself isn’t all that subtle either.  So it’s kind of refreshing to have a modern and catchy tune combined with some good old-fashioned Indian values.

Which brings us to Kirti’s pants.  Sure, you may call them insane psuedo-Beider jeans.  But I say they are actually a brilliant symbol of the new India!  Salwar pants made of denim, a perfect example of the global being made local.  Plus, they look super comfortable.  If perhaps a little warm for Goa (that’s where this was filmed, right?  It looks Goa-esque)