Bajirao Mastani Synopsis from someone who hated it (Spoilers): Part 1

(part 2 here)

So, I just finished a 7 part summary of Dilwale, with images, references to film history, star personas, the director’s previous work, the deeper meaning of certain lines and acting choices, and what it all might mean in terms of the careers of the stars.  Read it!  I had a lot of fun with it!

In contrast, Bajirao, eh.  I’m guessing I can knock this thing out in like 3 parts.  There just isn’t as much there to talk about.  I mean, it’s pretty?  If you want just the high points, I already put up a bullet point version of the plot.  If you want details, and political-historical-social analysis, keep reading.  And if you actually really liked this movie, DO NOT READ.  I basically rip it to shreds.  And if you haven’t seen the movie, PLEASE READ.  If you are like me, you will have a lot more fun reading this than you would watching the picture.

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Bajirao Synopsis in bullet points

So, I will be posting a full, detailed (although not as detailed as I did for Dilwale) synopsis over the next few days.  But in the meantime, I thought you might enjoy the quick notes I made to remember everything that happened as soon as I got home from the theater.  (I say “spoilers”, but I don’t know if these will even make much sense if you haven’t seen the movie yet!  Or even if you have) (well, excepting the last one, that’s pretty clear)

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Dilwale finale! Full Ending! Complete Synopsis, finally! Obviously Spoilers: Part 7

Finally!  After working through 6 parts and almost two hours, we have reached the end of my extremely detailed and specific summary of Dilwale.  If you haven’t seen it yet, there are twists through out, so just skipping to the end bit will not make any difference if you want to know what happened.  You should probably go back and at least skim all the other parts.  Or better yet, see the movie!  It should be available in most places by now, and it really is fun to watch on the big screen! (part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, and part 6 here)
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Dilwale Full plot, spoilers all over the place, total summary: Part 6, second to last

(part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, part 6 here, and part 7 here)

So, I have a strange ability to remember every detail of a movie after I have seen it once.  And I’ve seen Dilwale 4 times (so far).  So I am sharing my gift with the world, and going through the WHOLE THING in exhaustive detail for anyone who cannot see it in theaters for any reason.  But if you can see it in theaters, don’t read this!  Or at least, don’t read it until you’ve already seen it once!  Or, read it and then see it anyway!  It’s a good movie, and if you watch it in theaters with a full audience, it can become a great movie!

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Dilwale Full Summary, All Spoilers! Part 5

The slog continues!  I hope to get past the Interval by the end of this post, with any luck I can finish the whole thing by the New Year.  Or at least, by not too far into the New Year. (part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, part 6 here, and part 7 here)
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Dilwale: Full plot synopsis! Part 4

In case you are wondering, no, I don’t have a bootleg copy or anything.  This is all based on memory from the 3 times I have seen it in theaters (so far).  I have jettisoned vast amounts of mental materials (for instance, the names of everybody I knew in elementary school including my teachers) in order to make brain space for every second of every movie I have ever watched in my entire life.  Very useful in grad school for cinema studies; not that useful in real life. (part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, part 6 here, and part 7 here)

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Dilwale: Full plot synopsis! Part 3

I’ve already covered the first 2o minutes here, and the next bit after that (including the first fight scene!) here.  So, where did I leave off?  Right, Shahrukh is striding towards the camera with Anwar and Shakti falling in behind him and the music pounding out a war beat as the crowd cheers and whistles, marking the true introduction of Shahrukh and the birth of a new Shahrukh Khan character.  Woo! (part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, part 6 here, and part 7 here)

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Dilwale: Full plot synopsis! Part 2

So, I left off at the song, right?  So, song ends, and Varun gets a bucket of water in his face.  Because he was sleeping leaning against the car in the garage instead of working or even being awake to prevent the theft of a car radio!  Shahrukh chides him gently, Varun is very apologetic, but again, not that scared. (part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, part 6 here, and part 7 here)

And then cut to the first comedy sequence!  Oh boy!  In one of my earlier reviews I mentioned how these feel like a whole different movie that had been forced on to the original, better, film.  And I am standing by that!

Anyway, here we are in another garage with even more eccentric decorating (a bedazzled skull phone, for instance).  And here is Sanjay Mishra, with unusual hair and an American pop culture t-shirt (I don’t remember what it is in this scene, but I know later it is a very accurate picture of Heath Ledger’s version of the joker.  That kind of thing).  And here is Sidhu!  Varun’s best friend/honorary brother!  He is also the thief that is tormenting their garage!

diamondskullphone3-500x375

(this phone)

He and Sanjay Mishra (character name, Oscar Bhai.  Ooo, Christian!  We really are in Goa!) have a conversation about how much money he will pay for the car radio.  I am briefly interested in his comic dialogue stylings.  He uses the sort of rhyming, alliterative style of talk that is part of classical Indian poetry.  Think Jackie Shroff in SLB’s Devdas.  And the last two words of every line are a matching pair of brand names, like “nokia-blackberry.”  So it is kind of a cool combination of classical Indian literature rules, and modern India’s brand obsession.  But after about 2 minutes, the novelty wears off and I am done with this character.

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Dilwale Spoilers: Whole plot revealed!!! Part 1

So, I’ve been trying and trying to avoid spoilers, or warn people off spoilers, but turns out, you all want spoilers!  My spoiler-full posts are getting a lot more readers than my spoiler-free posts.  So I will bow to the wishes of the majority and proceed to spoil the WHOLE THING.  If you want to know, in analytical and descriptive detail, every single thing about Dilwale (up to the first song, at least, the rest to be posted as time allows), continue reading below! (part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here, part 5 here, part 6 here, and part 7 here)
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