So, Salman’s appeal was approved! He has been cleared on manslaughter charges in the 2002 reckless driving case. A triumph for something, certainly, if not exactly justice.
Now, I could talk about the issues with the court system in India, the price of fame and the power of money, whether punishment or reform is the purpose of the criminal justice system, and so on and so on, but I don’t really care about all that.
No, much more important, is: will Salman now, finally, get married? He has claimed for years that he wants to get married, only he couldn’t think about it with this court case hanging over him. Now that it has been resolved, time to place your bets!
This isn’t to say that I actually believe Salman has been putting off marriage because of jail. After all, Sanjay got married twice while waiting for his charges to resolve! But it was certainly a convenient excuse for Salman to pull out for the past 12 years every time things started to get serious.
Lulia Ventur is where Times of India is putting its money. Eastern European, been seen with him for years, he said something in a interview a few months ago about a family tradition of marrying outside his culture, and supposedly he bought her a house.
However, on the downside, she may already have a husband. I am sure a lawyer who can get a manslaughter charge to go away could also disappear an inconvenient husband. Again, though, it worked for Sanjay (his current wife may have been only about 75% divorced at the time of their wedding).
But I say, why not think outside the box! For example, Sangeeta Bijlani, Salman’s very first documented girlfriend. A former Miss India and a movie star, they dated back in the early 90s when both their careers were on the upswing. They broke up for unclear reasons (possibly he was cheating, possibly she just wanted to be married and he wasn’t ready), and she went on to marry Mohammad Azharuddin, the Muslim Captain of the Indian Cricket team who was banned from playing thanks to a match-fixing scandal. Apparently, her type is Muslims-at-the-top-of-their-profession-who-become-targets-for-possibly-too-extreme-punishments. Also, Emraan Hashmi is playing her husband in the upcoming biopic Azhar (lucky him! Emraan will make him even hotter than he was in real life). She is being played by Nargis Fakhri (poor her).
Now, Sangeeta got divorced back in 2010, so she is on the market again. She has stayed friendly with Salman, even visited him just now to congratulate him on getting off the charges. Is this the beginning of a campaign? One of those reminders that all the reasons they broke up in the first place now longer matter? I like the idea of someone age appropriate, someone with history with him. It would be sweet, like those high school sweethearts that reunite decades later!
After Sangeeta, of course, came Aish. Can you imagine the scandal if they got back together? It would be the biggest thing since ever! Frankly, I don’t know if the industry could survive, the camps would become so hard drawn it would be impossible to actually put together enough of a crew to get a film made. But even if it led to the end of Indian film as we know it, the scandal would be so juicy, it would almost be worth it! It even almost makes sense, the Bachchan’s certainly keep Aish on a tight leash, whereas the Khans let their daughter-in-law’s do whatever they want!
Plus, while Abhishek has a better family, Salman is the better catch just for himself. And, as Aaradhya’s mother, she’s got a lifetime connection to the Bachchan’s whether or not the marriage lasts. I could see Aish taking a calculated risk, and she definitely seems like the one-that-got-away for Salman, who would take her back in a heartbeat! Especially if she managed to play into his savior complex!
Speaking of scandal, what about Kat? What if she still loves Salman and only moved on to Ranbir because she thought he would never be ready to be married? Plus, Salman’s family looooooooooves her and the Kapoors, apparently, do not. Ranbir actually moved out of his family home to live with her, which is a pretty big sign, considering no man in his family has moved out of that house in the past 60 years. But can you imagine the end of Kuch Kuch playing out in real life, but with Salman playing Shahrukh, Kat playing Kajol, and Ranbir playing Salman?
But then there is my dream relationship. What if Salman sincerely didn’t want to get married until the court case was settled? What if he has been secretly hiding emotions in his heart for a long-time friend and, now that the sword hanging over his head is lifted, he will rush to her side, finally confess his emotions, and the music will swirl and they will be on a mountaintop! So, stick with me on this:
What if he has been in love with Karisma Kapoor for the past two decades?
Picture it: they meet on the set of Nishchaiy (1992) for the first time as semi-adults. She is just barely 18, he is dating Sangeeta. They become friends, more than that, he becomes her protector and defender onset and off (all of this so far is more or less true). He breaks up with Sangeeta a few years later, but by then Karisma is old enough to date and has started a relationship with Ajay Devgn. She breaks up with him, he moves on to Kajol, and meanwhile Salman is sewing his wild oats. Right when he is ready to get serious again, Karisma starts dating and becomes engaged to Abhishek Bachchan. Salman, around the same time, starts a serious relationship with Aish. Abhishek dumps Karisma weeks before the wedding. Meanwhile, Salman and Aish’s relationship implodes. Karisma has already moved on and started dating Sanjay Kapur, heir to a wealthy Delhi family, known for his polo playing and his drug charges. Salman starts dating 19 year old Katrina Kaif. Karisma’s marriage quickly turns into disaster. After two children, she returns to Bombay, where she is quickly welcomed back by her old friend, Salman Khan, who breaks up with Katrina around the same time.
So, all of the above is actually true and accurate, but imagine this interpretation. What if Salman has been in love with her for years? What if, in my lovely fanfic, Sangeeta broke up with him because she could sense he was in love with someone else, but by then Karisma was already with someone. What if he started dating Aish in a desperate attempt to forget Karisma and Abhishek’s relationship? What if Aish figured it out and confronted him, thus leading to the massive nervous breakdown that caused the very manslaughter accusation of which he was just exonerated? What if, never having recovered from having been rejected for Karisma, Aish’s whole marriage to Abhishek is just some obscure form of revenge, by getting the one man Karisma couldn’t get in revenge for her taking the one man she wanted?
What if Salman has been quietly waiting for Karisma to work through the last tangles of her marriage, afraid to speak his mind while she was still technically another man’s and while the threat of jail hung over his head? What if the music swells and they look in each other’s eyes, and suddenly….
Okay, so I know this is mostly me being crazy and reading too many romance novels, but after surviving her parents’ very public separation, supporting her whole family as a teenager, then being dumped by her first boyfriend, jilted by her fiance, and destroyed by her husband, I just want Karisma to be happy! And what could be better than to marry the one man with the power, fame, and, frankly, terrifying insane temper, to make all of that go away?
So, I am a huge huge sucker for a good fanvid, have been for years. Going all the way back to when I was in college and I would take a break from studying to browse around and try to dig up a new SRKajol vid.
After over a decade of loving these things, I think I have figured out 3 categories of fanvids, specific to Indian fandom.
First, there is fanvid that expands on the themes of an existing artwork, for instance this fabulous one from Alina Yuvvraaj:
So, both of those kinds of videos, based on a particular movie or a particular star, you can find in any fandom. Where I think it starts to get unique, is in the next two categories.
First, there are the videos based on a particular mood. Since Indian film follows the Rasa theory, where the goal is to evoke a particular mood at a particular moment, rather than a cohesive mood through out one narrative, a wide variety of films might have particular scenes that flow seamlessly between the borders of their individual movies.
Like this, the moment when you are in love without realizing it yet and happy (from half a dozen different movies with the same moment). By Zizi K again:
Or this, which evokes the specific mood of “young and drunk at a club”, by MRSEMRAAN:
Or this, which has the very specific-to-Indian-film emotion described right there in the title. Women who are sad, and the men who love them from MRSEMRAAN again:
And then finally, there is my favorite category, the totally made up full narratives that go across multiple films and, occasionally, all the way into real life footage. This is really unique to Indian film, because Indian film is uniquely cohesive film to film. The same jodis play the same characters going through the same narrative beats over the over again. And even into real life, in interviews and publicity tours, they interact the same way. And who knows, maybe it is even related to the reincarnation in Hinduism! According to some versions, even Ram and Sita were reborn multiple times and lived out their story over and over.
Anyway, one of my favorites, which seamlessly moves between real life and film. Almost convinces me that Kajol really is eating her heart out, from MissCinemaObsessive:
and then I watch this from lalilly and feel better:
(see, they’re just friends after all!)
Or this one, where she actually does get him, even though he is himself and she is village-Kajol, from Zizi K:
Or this, where it’s not just SRKajol, but SRKajol vs Kajol/Salman and Kajol/Saif, from LUANSU (LUANSU was also the first fanvid maker I found, back in college):
It’s not just SRKajol, I literally screamed with delight when I found this one, hitting up the scandals old school! And using all film footage to tell a real life story, very impressive! From TheMelicrazyy:
And this leads into the bonus subcategory, fake storylines pulling together multiple films, but with stars who never actually acted together! Because actors and their characters are so consistent across films, and all films are so consistant with the kind of scenes they include, you can actually craft a narrative revolving around people who have never been onscreen together (my favorite of these is the Abhishek/Kajol/Rani “Teardrops on My Guitar” that was briefly posted like 6 years ago by Nouf89, and then pulled down. My white whale! If someone out there has it, please send me a copy!). But these are nice too. From rmskch:
(this is so impressive! Remember they have only been onscreen together for less than ten seconds in her friendly appearance in KANK)
And I had never even considered these options, from 3bit89:
(none of these three has ever costarred with each other in anything!)
So, did I do this right? Are there the same number of categories as promised in the post-title? I think so:
Fanvids expanding on one particular film
Fanvids expanding on one particular star
Fanvids combining multiple films with the same mood
Fanvids combining multiple films with the same moods/stars into a narrative
Fanvids combining multiple films with the same moods/stars into a narrative even if the stars never acted opposite each other
The love and violence and love-means-violence is all tied up together in this. My first thought was “so untraditional! What happened to SRKajol, the happpy-go-lucky NRI romance?” But then I remembered that their first movie together was Baazigar, which had this:
Even DDLJ had this:
So really, Kajol shooting him through the heart is just a return to their roots! Or else, she is finally getting revenge on him for heartlessly killing her sister (always bothered me that she wasn’t more angry at him for that) (in Baazigar, not in real life. So far as I know, he has never done anything to Tanisha)
Bonus, it looks like they have almost the same meet-cute as SRK and Divya Bhatya in his very first movie, Deewana:
Nothing more romantic that almost running someone over!
Speaking of Deewana, it also has another reminder that angry unhinged SRK=sexy SRK:
I found her! Just now! My favorite item girl! Her name is Mumait Khan, and I just learned that an hour ago after being her fan for a decade.
I first noticed her in a song in Hulchul:
That’s her in the more yellow-y sari, with the face piercings and the awesome attitude. Actually, they all have attitude in this song. Whenever I read a think piece about how sexy item numbers are bad for women, I want to make the author watch this! They are just freaking dominating that village square! And if men choose to watch them, they take it as their due, but they aren’t doing it for the men, they are doing it for themselves.
Anyway, shortly after that I noticed it was her in this song from Asambhav too, with a very poorly fitting blouse:
So uncomfortable looking! I just want to hoist that blue thing up! It’s way too tight, and way too low. But otherwise, this song is awesome again. She’s trapped on an island with a bunch of horny terrorists, and she is in complete control.
So far as I could tell, the only time she actually had a speaking part in a film, instead of just doing a fabulous dance in the background, is in Lucky: No Time for Love. Maybe to punish her for having lines, the dance number they give her is much less awesome than usual:
The only bits that are awesome are thanks to her. The other three girls are giving me more of a “innocent school girl about to be raped by a bunch of creepy guys” vibe (that is their school uniform, and they are 17). Whereas she is giving me more of a “not so innocent young woman about to happily flirt like crazy with everyone in sight and then leave them wanting more” kind of feeling.
Anyway, I’ve been seeing her pop-up here and there for years, but it was impossible to figure out her actual name. Even imdb doesn’t help, since it’s not like she has a named role in the film. I tried searching for “actors in common”, but Indian film is such a small world, every movie has multiple actors in common, and I couldn’t sort her out from the rest.
But tonight, thanks to a recommendation from a friend who knows more about the south than I do, I am watching Chatrapathi, a Telegu movie with the same director and star as Bahubali. And there she is! At first, I am just super happy to have a new song with her, and then I realize this is finally my chance to find out who she is! Sure enough, there is only one person in common between Hulchul and Chatrapathi, Mumait Khan. According to imdb, her father is from the south, her mother is from Pakistan, and she grew up just outside Bombay.
But I was able to find out even more than that! That name sounded familiar to me, so I dug through my books, and she was actually profiled by Anupama Chopra (love her!) back in January of 2005. Her life story is kind of old-fashioned, actually. Just like Helen or Nargis or Meena Kumari, she went to work at a young age to support her family and film work was all she could get. Her father was laid off, she had younger siblings, the family was struggling, so at age 14 she went to work at the best job she could get, dancing in films, in the chorus for $35 a day. After years of work, she finally got her big break, age 17, in Munna Bhai MBBS (love the movie, so-so on this particular song actually, but her attitude is fabulous):
Two years later, when Anupama interviewed her, she had made enough to move her family out of their house and into a modern apartment. She was also rumored to be about to break through to the west, possibly be featured in a music video. And, because of this, she said she was experimenting with piercings and tattoos. Which, no-no-no-no-no! She was already tattooed and pierced and awesome, right from the start. More likely, some manager had told her to say that it was for the West, so she could pretend that at heart she was still a good, traditional, Indian girl.
But the thing is, she is! At least, she is a traditional Item Girl. Helen, the greatest of all item girls, has an almost identical resume. She was sent out to support the family in puberty the best way she could, as a background dancer. As a teenager, she was finally given her big break and her star-power and personality was immediately recognized. It’s still recognizable, watch this song and tell me you don’t immediately fall in love with her:
She also never became an actress, never had more than a few lines in a film, but instead spent her career being the sexually confident and aggressive woman that the heroine could never be, but that the audience, both male and female, needed to see.
I don’t know if it is because of a childhood spent dancing their heart out, or the knowledge that they could support a family better than a man before they were 16, but I feel like these two women, Mumait (so happy to have a name for her!) and Helen, have a certain something when they attack the camera in these songs that is just missing from the new faux-item girls.
I’m talking about songs like this with Priyanka in Ram-Leela:
Or Katrina Kaif in Sheila:
Don’t get me wrong, those songs are great, but they are just missing something that you get when it is a whole-hearted item girl, someone who knows she will never be that girl the hero falls in love with, that this is her one moment in the sun. That we may never even know her name, but by she will make sure we never forget her!
Kat and Priyanka want me to love them, Helen and Mumait DEMAND that I worship them.
Warning: Despite what it says below, this is NOT A GOOD MOVIE. The dialogue is terrible, and so is Salman’s accent. But it is so so pretty! My love is purely superficial and based on appearances, do not follow my example!
I loooooove Jaan-E-Mann. Me, and no one else. Maybe my sister, maybe my parents (although that could be familial indulgence), and that’s it. It was such a huge flop when it came out, it actually ended careers. Poor Shirish Kundar.
I actually saw it in theaters opening weekend, it and Don. They opened the same weekend, and I was much more excited for Don! Farhan Akhtar collaborating with Shahrukh! Super hot Arjun Rampal! A remake of a classic film that actually came with the blessing of the original filmmakers! Turns out, everyone was more excited for Don, Jaan-E-Mann was a massive flop and Don was a massive hit. Thus beginning the tradition of Salman and Shahrukh going head to head, and Shahrukh winning by a thousand percent. Just something to think about when laying your bets for who will end up winning Eid next year.
Anyway, I did like Don. Especially the Aeneid scene. So, if you haven’t happened to have read the Aeneid, it opens with Aeneas fleeing Troy as it burns. He is struggling to get through the burning streets, carrying his young son in front of him and his elderly father on his back, with his wife’s hand in his. At some point, he lets go and loses her. So it’s this very literal metaphor, with the past generation being held behind him and the future in his arms, he flees from danger (to eventually found Rome. Which was the point of the Aeneid, according to my classics teacher in college, that Romans wanted to be a cool and connected to Troy somehow so they wrote this very elaborate justification for it).
Anyhoo, there’s this one moment in Don when Arjun Rampal, a cripple, has to laboriously walk over a treacherous walkway between two buildings with his son carried on his back in order to save both their lives. And something about how it is filmed just captures that Aeneid-esque quality of desperately traveling on not just for yourself, but because of those you carry with you.
So I liked that! And SRK was hot and the songs were catchy, but the ending was kind of a let-down. And on the whole, it just felt a little too glitzy and “oo, look at me! Aren’t I cool?” to be fully heartfelt. And then the next day I went to see Jaan-E-Mann and it Blew. My. Mind.
I distinctly remember standing on the corner afterwards waiting for the bus thinking “why didn’t anyone warn me! I’m not going to be the same after that!” Of course, now I know why, it was because no one else in the world had the same reaction I did! It’s not like reviews say at the bottom “by the way, everyone else will find this film tedious and fantastical, but you one person in Chicago (you know who you are) will be so emotionally overcome after viewing that you may need to bring a buddy with you to help you find your way home.”
I don’t even wish it was more successful, really, Shirish Kunder’s subsequent work (Tees Mehr Khan, horrid except for the “Sheila Ki Jiwani” number and Akshaye Khanna; Joker, just plain horrid), shows that he didn’t have the talent I gave him credit for. Apparently, it was just an odd alchemy of his strange strange script ideas, and Farah Khan’s genius with song sequences. And probably some budgeting issue that kept them less ambitious. And then post-Om Shanti Om, Farah’s production house had all the money and street-cred in the world to throw at her husband’s strange vanity projects, and it turns out that they were really not good. If the actual filmmakers proved incapable of recreating the artistic success (well, by my measure) of this film, I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if it had done super well and a bunch of young imitators had sprung up!
So, Jaan-E-Mann opens with a reference to 2001: A Space Odyssey. And then it goes on to reference the Indian FilmFare Awards ceremonies of the 1970s, Broadway Melody of 1936 (the best Broadway Melody, their quality declined over time. It goes ’36, then ’38, Born to Dance which should have been ’37, and then 1940, the worst. I should really re-watch those), Singin’ in the Rain, and a million others, some of which I got, and some I am sure I missed.
(The reference is a lot clearer if you know there is “Blue Danube” playing in the background in both)
(they digitally inserted Salman into a 1970s FilmFare ceremony for no real reason)
(It’s not as clear with still images, but the table and chairs rise up from the floor)
(It’s visible in still images, but if you watch the whole opening of “Gotta Dance” in Singin’, and the end bit of “Humko Maloom Hai” in Jaan-E-Mann, it is really clear)
And these aren’t sort of wink-wink, nudge-nudge, inside joke references. They are for a purpose (I believe, even if no one else does). Over the course of the first 20 minutes of the movie we are going through decreasingly surreal and movie-movie images so that the final moment when reality comes crashing down is all the more devastating. And when I say crashing, I mean literally crashing, as Salman’s character receives his divorce papers from Preity Zinta and destroys their marital apartment.
I should pause and actually address the plot for a second. It’s a pretty simple one. Preity Zinta is suing Salman for alimony that he can’t afford to pay. He decides to help her nerdy (or maybe geeky? I am never clear on these distinctions) best friend from college played by Akshay Kumar woo and marry her so Salman can get out of paying alimony. And Akshay doesn’t know Salman is her ex, he thinks he is just his new best friend who is trying to help him out. Also, Salman is a struggling actor and Akshay works for NASA. There, now I’ve spoiled the magical randomness of 2001 and 1970s FilmFare references by explaining how they actually relate to the characters.
Actually, all of the magically random visuals relate to the characters, and if you get that, the movie really really works. And if you don’t, it really really doesn’t. Akshay’s character is introduced by two songs in rapid succession. First, he flashes back to his first meeting with Preity in college. It’s presented from his perspective, and it is a total fantasy. She is sweet and beautiful and angelic. Her boyfriend (Salman, although Akshay doesn’t know that) is a lout. Akshay is sure they will end up together. It culminates in a rock concert they go to together when Akshay is so happy and secure in his in love that he literally flies around the room (the image is both cheesier and more realistic than it sounds). And then literally comes crashing down to the ground when he sees her with Salman.
This fantasy does two things. First, it establishes that Akshay, while sweet, is probably not the right man for this woman. He only sees what he wants to see and cannot handle her as a real person. Second, it throws into contrast the flashback fantasy song we already saw when Salman told his love story at the beginning of the film. In that, the version of Preity Salman sees, and the version we the audience see, is the same. More importantly, she is a participant in the fantasy. They dance together, they talk together, they make eye contact. The unreality of Akshay’s romance makes Salman’s more real.
Equally important with Akshay’s fantasy is the reality that it is intercut with as Salman remembers a different version of the events. In his version, Preity is different, wilder, more selfish, having fun. But as we see his version, we know he is realizing that Akshay’s memory of her “loutish boyfriend” is accurate. He was selfish and uncaring, he did ignore the damage their romance was leaving in its wake. And this all culminates in a beautiful moment when the present day reality and the past come face to face. As Akshay’s heart breaks in the past, as his fantasy ends and he comes to earth, present day Akshay, and present day Salman and Anupum Kehr (who is a Salman’s uncle and a dwarf for no reason. Don’t worry about it) to whom he is telling the tale enter into his vision and quietly witness his despair. It’s perhaps the clearest way I have ever seen shown onscreen of conveying how those painful moments of our past can feel like they happened to different people, but at the same time can feel like they are still happening in this moment as you tell of them.
The second song for Akshay’s introduction is when Salman and Anupum are trying to jolly him into believing in himself and his ability to win over Preity. To that end, they open a closet door and the 7 dwarves come out (don’t worry about it). And then they have a song in which Preity is played by both Anupum in a wig and a cardboard cutout of her character. So, the 7 dwarves may confuse the issue a little, but what this is really saying is that Akshay wants the Snow White and the 7 Dwarves version of Preity, the Princess, the cardboard cutout, the wig and the clothes. This comes up later in the film when Salman asks him point blank if he is in love with Preity herself or just her face, and he does not have a good answer (in context, they have just met dwarf Anupum’s non-dwarf doppleganger in New York and are wondering if there is an identical Preity somewhere in the world.) (I don’t know if the context helped much.)
The idea of image versus reality continues once they arrive in New York and rent the apartment across from Preity’s (remember, if it’s in an Indian movie, it is romantic, not stalking). Salman wants to watch her through the window, but Akshay has a better idea, he sets up a high quality telescope, links it to a projector, sets up a screen, and sits down to watch her. For the rest of the film, when they are in their apartment, there is an image of Preity’s place across the street on the screen. Akshay watches her face, her eyes, her smile. It really is captivating, just a long sustained close-up. Salman talks about what kinds of movies she is watching and how she is feeling and what she is thinking. One of these men knows her, and one only thinks that he does.
This is all stuff dealing with Preity’s image versus reality, but the same conflict is true of the other two leads as well. Akshay knows Preity will not fall in love with him as he is, and Salman knows that as well. It starts with a harmless suggestion of how to dress, how to approach her, what to say. But after their first interaction goes badly, Akshay begs Salman for another solution and they go full Cyrano. Akshay wears a wire and has Salman standing by to feed him every line. While Akshay is wearing a disguise on his soul, Salman is wearing several on his body. In order to stay in range and communicate, he buys a series of wacky costumes (actor, remember). Written out like that, it sounds kind of silly, but believe me, when you see it playing out in the song sequence below, it just breaks me, every time. For me, this and “Kwaja Mere Kwaja” from Jodha-Akbar are on the same level, amazing beautiful meditative pieces that take my soul to places it doesn’t even recognize. Again, just me.
This song sets the tone for all three characters. They feel uplifted, but what they are feeling does not match what they are seeing. That disconnect is what gives it it’s beauty. Akshay knows Preity is falling in love with him but feels that something is off and pushes Salman to keep helping him. Salman knows that he shouldn’t care for Preity anymore, that she ended their marriage heartlessly, but he can’t stop watching her. Preity is falling in love with Akshay but keeps feeling like she is with her ex-husband.
And then it all comes crashing in. Again. One by one, for the last half of the movie, the dominos fall. I’m not going to spoil the twist, but I am going to tell you it is beautifully done. Salman learns it first, and then has his heart broken. And the wall behind him shatters in a gorgeous use of CGI as his world ends.
In his heart break song, there are two shots that always get to me. First, when he is standing in the middle of time square, surrounded by people, and feeling completely empty inside (I know it is a cliche, but it really works here!). And second, when he goes back to the cafe where Anupum’s doppelganger works (don’t worry about it), and is taken in his arms and sobs. Such a beautiful scene of a stranger comforting a stranger.
When Akshay learns his devastating truth, he has what might be the best acting moment of his career as he furiously rips off the clothes Salman bought him, brushes out his hair, puts on his glasses, literally breaks himself down and builds himself up again before our eyes. Also, there’s a moment when he’s shirtless and I always get distracted by how much stubble he has on his chest. It must be so itchy! Just go back to the old way! That hair that makes people go “why is he taking a shower in a sweater vest?”
And then Preity has the subtlest moment of them all, Akshay tells her what he has discovered, he goes on about all the details of it and how it happened, and all she says is, “Please, keep talking about Salman. I never hear anything good about him. Please, keep talking.” It’s heartbreaking! On all sides! You have poor Akshay, once more reduced to a side-note in their epic romance, and you have Preity’s response that quietly fills in the blank of her past two years, apparently spent being forced to listen to her family denigrate the man she loves (and by implication, all the decisions she made for herself about her life), until she is desperate to hear just one kind word about him.
Just when the emotions get to be too much, we get to the final happy ending, which is so beautiful that I bawl every time. Again, just me. I mean literally beautiful, as in how it looks, not what happens. I mean, what happens is nice too. But the visuals are just perfect. The whole movie has been about fantasy giving way to reality. In a whole bunch of different ways. Fantasy love stories, Salman’s fantasy of his career, Preity’s fantasies which were apparently pretty comprehensively crushed by her awful relatives before we ever met her in the present day-but what the ending tells us is that the fantasy may be over, but sometimes the reality is even more beautiful.
Way back at the beginning, Salman’s fantasy version of their romance ended when he destroyed their apartment, in gorgeous slow-motion, pulling down the yellow curtains first so they fell in the background before the glass and wood were shattered. In her new apartment, they watched her through yellow curtains which hung on either side of the window, showing on their pervy screen display like the side curtains at an old movie palace, framing their view of her. At the very end, he is on a soundstage back in Bombay, filming a part in what appears to be a low-budget romance in which he is merely the hero’s best friend. In the background, yellow draperies cheaply define the set area. Filming ends, the crowd disperses, and he sees Preity. As their eyes meet and they smile, the yellow curtains behind them slowly start to fall, the cheap artifice of film, the comfort of fantasy, everything we use to keep ourselves safe from what is real, falls away. And you see that they are standing on a hillside on a cloudy but beautiful day, and there was nothing to hide from after all. I swear, I am tearing up just thinking about it and I don’t even really know why!
And then there is an epilogue with a cheap pun on Preity Zinta’s name. It is just such an odd movie, but it is also the one I watch whenever I feel bad or sad or glad, or worried about the world, or need a good cry, or need to stop crying, or just need something beautiful. The title means “Life of my Soul”, and that’s really what it is for me! Again, just me.
Named “Adira”, a combination of Aditya and Rani. I don’t know about this trend of made up names. Even “AbRam”, with that funky spelling, I am dubious.
Her birth was announced on twitter first by Rishi Kapoor, of all people, and then confirmed by Uday Chopra’s twitter soon after. However, a few hours earlier, SRK’s twitter had a random comment “…there really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child….” This could just be one of those random things he says sometimes, or it could be his trip to the hospital pep message for Adi. I choose to believe the latter.
No word yet from Amitabh, who is usually ALL ABOUT the baby announcements and congratulations. On the other hand, this baby is so very special, it’s possible he isn’t tweeting because he is actually at the hospital.
Moving on to the more important issues, who could this baby marry when she grows up? AbRam is of course an option, good family, right age, will probably be super handsome when he grows up. Would look good on her arm.
Then there’s Aamir’s son Azad, another good family, with producing background from his grandfather and great-uncle as well as his father. Plus, heightwise, it might work. Adira’s mother is of course super short, so it might be nice for her to marry someone whose father is super short, so they would match and look well in pictures.
Yug, Kajol and Ajay’s son, is also in a reasonable age range, should be comfortable with a strong matriarchy, and well-connected. Of course, he is also Adira’s cousin, but it is a very distant relationship and I think they could get past that. And it would solidify her claim on the Mukherjee owned studio complex, and an official Yash Raj-Mukherjee business merger would be great for the industry.
The Chopra’s do have a history of May-December marriages, which opens up the field beyond the current batch of babies. In the slightly older range, there’s Aarav Kumar. He hasn’t done much yet (since he’s like 13), but he looks exactly like his grandfather, mega-star Rajesh Khanna, and he is getting the karate training so he can be like his father, action star Akshay Kumar. Plus, his Grandma is Dimple, and she is awesome. Definitely a respectable match who would be okay with strong women. And could serve as a bodyguard as well as arm-candy.
There’s also Agastya Nanda, Amitabh’s grandson. He’s not an industry kid, raised in Delhi by a businessman father, but genetically, he is the ultimate prize. Grandson of Amitabh, great-grandson of Raj Kapoor. And a supportive spouse for the new head of Yash Raj studios should maybe have a business background instead of a straight film one.
And then of course the ultimate hope, she turns out to be gay and gets together with Aaradhya and achieves domination of the entire world.
Well, barely on Modi. It’s like a fragment of a quote from an interview where he talked about how he wasn’t going to talk about serious things any more unless it is on a platform specifically for serious things (is he considering a run for office? Let’s start that rumor! Or does he just mean another in depth essay or interview?).
Anyway, here is his quote:
“I think the developmental clause of his governance is fantastic. I am all for modernness and development. And it will be fantastic if he takes it up and makes it for the whole country,”
I think this isn’t quite “damning by faint praise”, but it is pretty close! He likes the developmental clause, but not necessarily anything else. And he is waiting to see if Modi is successful in instituting it for the whole country.
God, I hate this show! So, there was a bunch of stupid this week. But what leaped out at me was a little blink and you miss it moment that casually underlined one of my biggest problems. While vetting Quantico applicants, there is a casual exchange about someone being a hot yoga teacher, but also twice accused of sexual harassment. To which the response is “hot yoga indeed!” Because, sexual harassment is hot? As in sexy? Ha-ha, let’s all have a good laugh?
And then later, in our big centerpiece scene, we find out that Simon was implicated in torture and, possibly, sexual assault of women when he was in the Israeli Defense League. His defense is that he didn’t know what he was doing, he thought he was just tricking innocent women who were married to terror suspects so they would be interrogated! Because that’s totally fine! Even worse, he defends the actions of his superior who actually carried out the attacks! After “what he had seen”, apparently he had an uncontrollable urge to attack women. Because anybody is capable of assault? It’s just a matter of the right situation? This seems a bit like an INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS ASSUMPTION.
Also, we find out that the Muslim twins are from Lebanon, because obviously they couldn’t have been American born and raised. And that the more conservative and traditional one was, of course, susceptible to extremist rhetoric.
I did like that one moment when everyone confronts Alex about how she uses people and then forgets them. I know it wasn’t meant that way, but I loved it as a meta-commentary on Priyanka’s career.
PS Why is Alex Parrish suddenly deciding who and who isn’t a suspect and who is under surveillance and who can be let go free? Is she running the FBI now, on the basis of her pretty hair and pouty lips?
I’m glad I wasn’t the only person whose reaction of the possibility of Alia and Shahrukh co-starring was “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
I am interested in the implication that Karan is losing his pull with the star community, first Shudhi falling about half a dozen times, and now this. Of course, he’s also filming right now with Ranbir and Aish, so he couldn’t have lost all his connections.
So, “intolerance” is the new political hot potato among the filmi set. It started with a bunch of intellectual artists giving back their government awards, the “awards wapsi” movement, in protest of the recent spat of religious violence and Modi’s not very emphatic reactions against it. Some artists who had been involved in the film industry were included in this movement. And on the other hand, Anupum Kehr (so lovable onscreen! So hard to love off it!), decided to lead an anti-award wapsi movement, arguing that it was an insult to the Indian people to have these awards so cavalierly returned.
The big names were all successfully avoiding dealing with the micro-issue of Awards Wapsi, and the macro-issue of the Modi/BJP election and the changes it wrought, until Shahrukh decided to actually respond in his birthday interview. In response to a question, he said “there is intolerance, there is extreme intolerance… there is, I think… there is growing intolerance” and “It is stupid… It is stupid to be intolerant and this is our biggest issue, not just an issue… Religious intolerance and not being secular in this country is the worst kind of crime that you can do as a patriot.”
This got the usual responses, a bunch of hot-tempered politicians suggesting he “go back to Pakistan”, some other politicians apologizing-but-not-really-apologizing for their colleagues’ behavior. And the BJP lost the election in Bihar. A lot more went into the BJP losing there, but there is no way that SRK didn’t know that people were going to the polls in Bihar as he was talking, and that what he said could move a few thousand votes off the BJP ticket.
SRK having opened the floodgates, the next step of course was for the other two Khans to weigh in, as the most popular and powerful Muslims in India. Salman, hilariously, was cut off before he could give a full statement when Sonam Kapoor at their joint press conference literally leaned over and ripped the microphone out of his hands. He did manage to say something nice about how his family is so interreligious (Hindu born but Muslim convert mother, Christian stepmother, Muslim father, and Hindu sisters- and brother-in-law), but I doubt he will say anything more controversial than that until after his many many court cases are settled.
Aamir held off for a week or so, but when he did finally speak, he went hard. He opened by saying, “Kiran and I have lived all our lives in India. For the first time, she said, should we move out of India? That’s a disastrous and big statement for Kiran to make to me. She fears for her child. She fears about what the atmosphere around us will be. She feels scared to open the newspapers everyday.”
He then went on to discuss bigger issues in his typically passionate-yet-somehow-boring manner, but that opening! Man! That is something! Especially putting it in the mouth of his Hindu wife, pointing out that these issues affect not just the members of the Muslim community, but the many non-Muslims who care for them.
Anyway, many many people responded by saying this is not an intolerant country and if he thinks that, he should leave, because we can’t tolerate him (basically). And a few days ago, the first court case was officially filed.
“Advocate Sudhir Kumar Ojha lodged the FIR against Aamir and his wife at Town police station in Muzaffarpur district under sections 153 (wantonly giving provocation with intent to cause riot), 153A (promoting enmity between different groups on grounds of religion, race, place of birth, residence, language, etc), 153B (Imputations, assertions prejudicial to national-integration) and 154 (Sedition) of IPC.”
I just, do these people not see what they are doing? In anger at being called intolerant, they are burning pictures, blackening posters, making death threats, and now, filing court cases. Now, does this sound more like tolerance, or like intolerance?
Whoever put together the clips for this interview was a genius! We go from silly to fun to nostalgic to just stop in your tracks emotional, and then back to something lighter to recover. Anyway, they way they look at each other in real life, and on the screen, somehow it just gets to me!
So, “Janam Janam” from Dilwale, song trailer released yesterday, is clearly referencing Raj-Nargis, not just in the images, but in the lyrics:
If you notice, when SRKajol meet again after years (which you can tell because SRK is hot-and-bearded instead of hot-and-youthful), their eyes meet, and it switches to fantasy-and then SRKajol switch to black and white tones, as does her car and their umbrella, while the rest of the background stays in color. It is a clear signal to the viewer, if the singing in the rain under an umbrella didn’t make it clear enough, that this is an homage to the black-and-white love song “Pyar Hua Ikrar Hua” from Shree 420 with Nargis and Raj Kapoor:
So, why this reference? Beyond just looking cool and making people go “Hey, it’s Shree 420! I love that movie!”
In real life, Shree 420 was made at the height of the Raj Kapoor and Nargis collaboration. While their earlier film, Awara, was more popular overseas, Shree 420 was more beloved at home. However, “Pyar Hua” foreshadows the ending of their personal and professional collaberation. No matter what promises they had made to each other, eventually, there was no where else for them to go.
Raj Kapoor was a genius, basically invented Hindi cinema, brilliant actor, brilliant director, brilliant producer, everything. But, terrible in his personal life! Oh my gosh! So bad!
Although, part of that could be because everything happened to him so young, he was oddly adult in some ways from the time he was very young, but never really adult in others to the end of his life. His father, Prithviraj Kapoor, was one of the first big stars of Indian film (see him and his nice legs in the photo below)
Although Prithviraj got fame and money from his film work, his heart was always with the stage. He founded Prithvi Theaters (still in operation today, run by his granddaughter) and poured his heart and soul into it. This meant his wife and children either stayed home and never saw him, or traveled with him on massive barnstorming tours of India, or worked backstage at the home theater in Bombay. By the time he was 21, Raj Kapoor had worked as a set designer, stage manager, director, and main actor. He had also basically raised his two younger brothers, serving as the disciplinarian and authority in their lives in the absence of their father. And then he rebelled against a life spent serving his father’s purposes by deciding to work in film, not the stage.
So, age 22, already a major film star, he decides he wants to produce and direct. Oh, and he also got married 3 months earlier to the sister of his friend and frequent co-star, Prem Nath. The families arranged the first meeting, but the two of them hit it off right away and rushed the marriage.
So, Raj is ready to make a film. And he has a script and he can star, but he knows he won’t get funding unless he find some big name to star opposite him. So he goes to see Nargis (one of the biggest female stars at the time, only 19, but acting since she was a child and acting as an adult female lead since she was 14). He knocks on the door of the apartment she shares with her mother, and she comes to answer it herself, with flour on her face since she was in the middle of cooking. He falls passionately in love at first sight, despite being newly married to a woman he claimed to have also fallen in love with at first sight, and who was also carrying his child by this point (Kapoor men-very fertile).
Nargis is not that interested in Raj Kapoor the man, find him young and a little chubby, but does like his script and agrees to do the role. By the end of filming, she is as in love as he. For the next ten years, they form a beautiful personal and professional partnership. His wife stays home, and gives birth to 5 children, in this same time. But Raj and Nargis go to all the industry events together, stay up until all hours discussing scripts and projects at RK studio (founded by the profits of their first film as co-stars, with a logo based on their iconic embrace from the same film), and make a series of all time film classics, along the way popularizing such Indian film staples as the rain song, the fantasy song, the father-son conflict, the childhood flashback, the underlying social message, and dozens of others. After ten years though, Nargis realized this was all she could ever have. Raj was never going to leave his wife, she would never have a place in respectable society, she could never have children, this was it, just being the work wife forever and ever.
This was foretold in Shree 420, made at the height of their love story. IT is the deeper meaning of “Pyar Hua Ikrar Hua”. “Pyar Hua” is a duet, and while Raj keeps repeating “Love is here, promises are made”, Nargis keeps repeating “Where do we go from here? Where can we go from here?”
So, she left him. Raj always tells the story as though it was something she had done to him, as though she broke some vow or promise. But from her side of things, what else was there to do? It had been ten years, she was nearing 30, her career and personal life were both stalled in the service of his dreams.
They never acted opposite each other again, or even interacted really. Nargis had her greatest role, playing “Mother India” in the film of the same name, and then retired and married rising actor and politician Sunil Dutt. She became a powerful political force in her own right, and had three children. Raj Kapoor went on to have a series of affairs with other actresses and to make more brilliant movies, but something was always missing after he lost Nargis. He never found an onscreen partner to match him as well as her, and his films never had quite the same depth and meaning as they did when she was helping him.
Onscreen and off, Nargis and Raj epitomized the New India couple of the post-independence era. She loved him and was completely devoted to him, but she also had her own career and her own goals (in their films, she played a teacher, a lawyer, an actress, a business woman). He loved her, and also wanted her to be his partner in all things, their romance was not just about passionate embraces, but also making him a better man, helping him succeed in his goals, helping him determine what those goals were.
And now we have Shahrukh and Kajol. A different kind of couple but, it is becoming increasingly clear, the couple that works for the modern India. They are equally devoted to each other, there is no longer any expectation that a woman loves a man more than a man could ever love a woman. She not only has her own goals, she can take the lead in them and force him to follow. In My Name is Khan, she was the main breadwinner for the household. In Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, she was the main lead of the film. And unlike Raj and Nargis-who eventually stagnated playing the same old couple falling in love-in each of their films, they have come together stronger than ever. SRKajol went from flirtatious college students to adults with children over the course of 6 films. And I have high hopes that now, in their 7th film, the pattern will continue. “Janam Janam” indicates that, I think. Rather than a song about “where do we go from here?” It is about “where ever we go, you are always with me and we will go there together.”
Okay, now they are just spoiling us, with a new trailer every day:
It is an interesting publicity strategy, especially in comparison with Bajirao Mastani which released a teaser months ago, but then nothing new for months after that. Instead, Dilwale is releasing everything at the last minute very close together.
I guess it makes sense, because just the fact of a new SRKajol film is enough to get people pumped and excited, any trailers or songs is just frosting on the cake, something to entice you to buy tickets for the opening weekend. But Bajirao had minimal name recognition going in and had to sort of train people to care about it at all, and therefore needed that spectacular teaser to get people talking for the past 5 months.
Yaaaaay! New Dilwale trailer, with a song I actually like!
We have all the classic Shahrukh faces, “I am stunned by your beauty”, “I am delighted by falling in love”, “I am feeling cocky because I know you like me”, and of course “you forgot I was sexy” (my favorite).
Plus, visually (even beyond the wet white shirt), there is all sorts of cool stuff! Did you catch the Shree 420 reference? Not only are they together under an umbrella in the rain, they actually turn into black and white as their eyes meet, which is just so cool and beautiful!
Like, as they fall in love again, they enter the magical other world of classic Indian film love stories. Plus, I love that this is the second time SRKajol has done “Pyar Hua Ikrar Hua”, which is a fairly strong acknowledgement that they are the new Raj Kapoor-Nargis.
The first time was in the homage to the history of Indian film song from Rab Ne Bana di Jodi, “Phir Milenge”. I saw Rab Ne in theaters, and in that whole cameo filled song, Kajol was the only who got cheers.
Anyway, homages to classic films are very tricky to pull off, you either do them as complete jokes and no one cares, or seriously, and then you get a lot of push back because people find it insulting to the original. Especially the children and grandchildren of the people who made the original, who may not be thrilled to see their legacy dragged through the mud (Ram Gopal Verma and your Sholay remake, I am looking at you!). If you recall, the other big Shree 420 homage in recent years was in the “Zoobi Doobi” song from 3 Idiots
But everyone was fine with that, because they actually cast Kareena Kapoor, Raj Kapoor’s granddaughter, in the Nargis part.
But SRKajol have now done Shree 420 twice, and gotten no blowback for it! So I think it is safe to say that they are the acknowledged spiritual heirs to the Raj and Nargis onscreen pairing. Even more than Raj and Nargis’ actual heirs. But hopefully with less offscreen drama.
So, I should really lead with Manuj Kumar being released from the hospital. Evergreen actor, produced/starred/directed all time classics, and so on and so on. But I will wait until there is a funeral and all the important modern people have to go to it and be polite, for once, to their various nemesises. My favorite kind of news slideshow! People in white trying not to look like they want to punch each other! So for now, I will just hope that Manuj is comfortable and leave him in peace.
More importantly, Ram Gopal Varma is dredging up the Sridevi/Boney scandal! And also continues to be the creepiest man on earth. Apparently, in his book “Guns and Thighs” (blech! So Freudian I could vomit!), he talks in great detail about Sridevi’s thighs and how they lead him to fall in love with her and become a filmmaker and why she is still his favorite star. Creepy! Creepy creepy creepy! Normally I don’t like it when Indian husbands get all aggressive about their wives’ honor, but in this case I think Boney Kapoor was totally justified in calling him out on it. And, hopefully, he also increased the security on his wife and daughters. Anyway, as quoted in rediff.com, here is RGV’s response to Boney’s angry comments and threat of lawsuits:
‘My advise to Boney is to read my full article in “Guns and Thighs” on Srideviji before spewing venom on me. I as a fan have more respect for Srideviji than what Boney has for her as a wife..only Srideviji will know the truth of this in her heart,’
‘Srideviji’s fame is not only because of her acting capacity but it’s also because of her thundering thighs –top critics of Himmatwala time. If only acting talent is a measure for stardom why was’nt Smita Patil bigger than Srideviji..The thunder thighs made the difference,’
‘I respect Srideviji for her thighs,her smile,her acting talent,her sensitivity,her persona and above all I respect her love for Boney,’
Okay, dude, just because the “top critics of Himmatwala time” said her thundering thighs made her a star, doesn’t mean you aren’t being creepy for talking about them now. It just means they were creepy back then and you are creepy now. Plus, I think in complimenting Smita Patil, you may have accidentally insulted Sridevi AGAIN. Maybe instead say “If acting talent is taken as a measure for stardom, why wasn’t Smita Patil as big as Srideviji.” Or maybe talk about Sridevi’s dancing ability and smart fashion sense that highlighted her body, rather than just her body? Or maybe just don’t be so unutterably creepy that everything which comes out of your mouth makes me want to take a shower?
But did you notice the little comments about her and Boney? Like, Boney doesn’t appreciate her but she is trapped by her love for him? Totally bringing up that whole “Boney seduced her and then kept her as his side piece until she got pregnant at which point he divorced his wife and married her at the last minute” scandal. RGV probably meant to make Boney look bad, and I doubt it even occurred to him that Sridevi wouldn’t want to think about that time either. Heck, he probably thinks she loves being reminded of her uncontrollable devotion to one man, because isn’t that what all woman aspire towards? Their holy devotion to their husbands being their only identifying feature? Sita and Radha had such happy lives, after all! Anyway, I suspect the real story was a little more of a “Sridevi knew her career would be over as soon as she got married and preferred to be independent as long as possible and then planned a pregnancy right when her career was dropping off a little anyway” kind of thing. Either way, though, maybe if RGV really respected her, he wouldn’t bring it up at all.
Speaking of bringing up old scandals, rumor has it that Sanjay Gupta is casting his next and wants Hrithik and Kareena in it. Hrithik is easy, just give a job to his Dad and he will do anything. Apparently, Rakesh is on board in some capacity (actor? producer? second director? Who knows! He is theoretically competent in all those roles!), so Hrithik is too. But Kareena would be a feat. Back in the early 2000s, when they co-starred in a bunch of films, their onscreen chemistry and long hours working together lead to the usual affair rumors. At the time, Kareena was dating Shahid Kapoor, and just barely out of her teens, and Hrithik was married to his high school sweetheart, Suzanne Khan, who also happened to be part of a super powerful producing family. An affair would have made neither of them look good, Hrithik for seducing a young girl from a very good family, and Kareena for breaking up the marriage of another woman from another very good family. So they stopped working together, and talking at parties, and sitting next to each other at awards shows, and so on and so on.
And then a couple of years ago, Karan Johar’s perpetually in pre-production Shuddhi was rumored to have them cast as a pair. It had been ten years since the rumors were hot, Hrithik was still married (and was rumored to have moved on to affairs with other inappropriate women), and Kareena was now married to a powerful husband who had the pull to make sure any rumors of onset hanky-panky would be scotched immediately.
And then Shudhi fell apart (again), and Hrithik got divorced, and a Kareena-Hrithik pairing possibility disappeared. But now it’s been what, two years at least since the divorce? No possibility of rumors that Kareena is the one who caused it at this point, she and Saif are still going strong, this could actually work! And I would kind of love to see them in a Sanjay Gupta film. Lots of sexy item numbers for Kareena to have fun with, lots of glossy action sequences for Hrithik, and I kind of want to see the crazy Sanjay Gupta lighting filters shining on Rakesh’s bald head.
And if Manuj Kumar does die soon, then all of these people can run into each other at his funeral and give bare-teethed smiles captured by the camera and I will laugh and laugh.
So, I am of course obsessed with Dilwale. The image above was my computer wallpaper for months, until I finally replaced it with this:
Anyway, after months of anticipation, we finally have 3 and a half trailers! And I have many, many thoughts.
First, this one, the full length trailer:
So, along with this trailer release, there were a bunch of tidbits from interviews, and the one I grabbed onto the most was a hint that it might possibly be a plot similar to Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (full movie available on indiancine.ma).
Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (If It Goes, Call It a Car!), if you haven’t seen it, is a total delight! Ashok Kumar, Kishore Kumar, and Anoop Kumar, brothers in real life, play brothers onscreen. And Madhubala plays a sexy funny happy rich girl. Bonus: it also makes you feel better about Madhubala’s real life romantic tragedies, her failed love affair and broken heart with Dilip Kumar, and then rebound marriage with Kishore. With Dilip, onscreen, she is always “oh, poor me, my tragic love that can never be!” With Kishore, she is all “this is great! I am sexy and confident and flirty!” And if that is the effect the two men had on her in real life as well, then I am glad she went with the drama-less but fun and funny choice!
Anyway, the 3 brother characters own a garage, the two younger brothers fall for Madhubala and her best friend, but their big brother hates women and romance and doesn’t want them to get married. So they investigate and find out that years earlier, big brother’s heart was broken, which is when he turned anti-romance. So they track down the woman who broke his heart, it was all a misunderstanding, she still loves him too, and it ends with happiness all round for all 3 couples. And also, there is some plot about crooks after Madhubala’s inheritance or something, but it’s not important.
So, Dilwale, based on the first trailer and the Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi comments, is possibly taking the brothers-running-a-garage, older-brother-against-romance-because-of-past-romance, and younger-brother-tracks-down-lost-love plots and running with them. I am pumped! Young-hair Shahrukh falls in love with Kajol and is also some kind of action hero! She betrays him in some way, and then years later hot-bearded-Shahrukh meets her again! A romance track in two time periods! Plus, he is a bossy and protective older brother, which is just super sexy! And Varun is there too, being nice and funny. It’s all good!
Then, trailer 2, which I have to admit, was a HUGE disappointment to me:
It just, somehow, doesn’t feel like they are connecting, or something? The director, I think, said in an interview that it is all meant to be a metaphor for how the characters are separated from each other, and I am sure that is all very nice, but I want to see the SRKajol chemistry! Plus, I don’t like Shahrukh’s voice for this. At least, I don’t like him as Shahrukh’s voice. The same singer apparently sang “Tum Hi Ho” from Aashiqui 2, which I love, but his voice is somehow too rough for what I think of as Shahrukh’s sound. And everyone seems very stiff and uncomfortable the whole time. Although Iceland looks gorgeous!
Thankfully, skipping ahead, trailer 3.5 explains some of this:
First, HOW CUTE ARE THEY!?!?! I loved that opening intro bit, I love when he puts a coat around her between shots, I love them practicing the dance moves together, I love it all! Why couldn’t there be more of that cute interaction in the actual song?
Second, no wonder they were so stiff! They were literally freezing! Did you catch that they talked about how they couldn’t even lipsynch at one point because their lips were freezing together? Yes, the image of the big floaty sari against barren land is beautiful, but I would have been fine with sweaters and coats if it would have led to looser movements and better lipsynching.
I am ashamed to say it, but with all the problems with “Gerua”, I think I actually like trailer 3 with the young people better than the SRKajol Epic Love Song.
It just seems fun! And young and silly and catchy. Plus, I think they are doing a nice update of some traditional song ideas in a modern setting. Kind of like “Halla Re” from Neal ‘n Nikki (which was a really odd movie, but “Halla Re” is still good!). In that one, the lyrics literally say “I’m not a traditional girl, I don’t have a bindiya or anklets or any of the usual Indian feminine trappings, but I am still waiting for a boy to love and a boy to love me.” Anyway, this feels kind of the same.
They are wearing modern clothes, it’s a sort of hip-hop beat, they use autotune, but they are expressing very traditional feelings. It’s all metaphors about the heart, she even calls him her “Typical desi lover.” Compare this with, for instance, Varun’s song from Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania “Lucky Tu, Lucky Me.” I mean, even the title of the song (which is also the chorus), is about having sex! That’s not even subtle! The title of the movie itself isn’t all that subtle either. So it’s kind of refreshing to have a modern and catchy tune combined with some good old-fashioned Indian values.
Which brings us to Kirti’s pants. Sure, you may call them insane psuedo-Beider jeans. But I say they are actually a brilliant symbol of the new India! Salwar pants made of denim, a perfect example of the global being made local. Plus, they look super comfortable. If perhaps a little warm for Goa (that’s where this was filmed, right? It looks Goa-esque)
So, last night’s Quantico was predictably confusing and morally irritating. The FBI is fine with keeping a gross procedural error internal in order to keep a serial killer in prison? Even if that procedural error was a sign that their agent was going down a path which would lead to considering cold-blooded murder to cover it up? And none of their recruits considered the possibility that this gross procedural error could have lead to the wrong person being imprisoned, which is in fact why the courts would release them?
More importantly, real world-wise, this continues to play into the misconception that the American court system is weighted heavily towards the accused and not the prosecutor, instead of the other way around. I am fairly sure that if gross procedural mistakes were found in an investigation by the FBI, eventually the wrongfully accused would be released, but it wouldn’t exactly be instantaneous, and they would pretty quickly be re-arrested and tried again.
But what I really cared about was the late in the episode revelation that Alex knows 70s-80s music because she listened to her mother’s record collection in Bombay. Why in the world would her mother have a bunch of American records in Bombay in the 70s and 80s? Because the import restrictions were still in place, which would have made those records super hard to get.
Is this a subtle clue? Is it possible that she was always obsessed with American culture to the point of purchasing records on the black market, which explains why she came to America/married an American? Still doesn’t match up with her potentially being a Pakistani agent, but maybe she had a ton of Nazia Hassan records also?
I do love People, but I have highly disagreed with many of their more recent Sexiest Men choices. Channing Tatum, sure, but Bradley Cooper? This year’s choice, David Beckham, I heartily approve of. Someone who is legitimately famous, talented, charming, and a good person. And also very attractive in an interesting way.
Of course, I had given up on the true sexiest man alive ever being recognized, and then I saw this poll.
There is justice in the world! (although where is Shahid?)
Thank god, no Quantico last night! I was so happy when I checked Hulu this morning and saw there was no new episode! It’s such a horrible way to start the week, struggling to get through a gosh-awful episode of television while blearily trying to braid my hair and brush my teeth after staying up too late on Sunday night.
But this also means nothing to post about this morning. Unless I post about my biggest problems with all the past episodes. Which isn’t hard, because I really just have 3 major issues.
Issue 1: Priyanka, blech! She’s like nails-on-a-chalkboard for me. I used to really like her, actually. In her first few movies, I found her either neutral (Mujhse Shaadi Karoge) or charming (Salaam-E-Ishq). And then somewhere around Don, I started to notice that I had seen everything she was doing before. And then I started to see her public appearances, and I realized I had seen everything she was doing there before too. Because she really just has one character she plays all the time, and it is that same character that she brings out for every interview. Big smile, tossed head laugh, talks fast, but never loud, or shrill, or emotional, never wrinkles her face, never cries, never scratches or blows her nose or does anything human. It is somehow both boring, and terrifying.
Issue 2: No one involved seems to know what to do with a desi main character. There doesn’t seem to be any interest in really exploring what that might mean. Yes, she is American, yes an Indian-American can be confident and intelligent and patriotic and sexual, but wouldn’t they also be other things that are specific to the Indian-American experience? The first shot of the pilot is her “om” symbol bracelet, but that has never been seen again. There has been no mention of her Hinduism as a religious practice, she hasn’t spoken Hindi (even when talking to her mother), and she has been white-washed in a million subtle ways, from her make-up to her jewelry to her accent. Oh, and her name is “Alex Parrish”. Which is a really weird name for a desi to have! I may be wrong about this, but my understanding is that Alex/Alexander/Alexandra are all modifications of “Alexander” as in “the Great”. And in India, his name was Indianized to “Sikander”. Like, there is a biopic of Alexander the Great that is titled “Sikander” and everyone in the movie calls him “Sikander”. It wouldn’t be a huge issue, except that it would be so easy to change and they didn’t and that means they really, really don’t care even a little bit. Why in the world couldn’t they have picked literally any other name for her? Alexander was “the Great” because he was the only historical figure for hundreds of years who was able to impact both European and South Asian culture. Naming her after ANYONE ELSE would have allowed for a legitimate argument that it was a European name with no Indian variant that was meaningful to her parents. Or, you know, just give her an Indian name!
Issue 3: No one seems to know what to do with India either. First, her mother is Indian and married to an FBI agent who was pretending to be a blue-color worker (I think. I am very confused by the timeline of her father’s life). How did they meet? Did he travel to India? Why? If she came to the US, what is her profession? How did she get a Visa? Current immigration rules would mean she was either highly educated and therefore could be sponsored by an institution of higher learning or an employer, or that she had relatives already in America who sponsored her, either of which would make her marriage to a white blue-color worker surprising. I would say the show-runners were ignoring a big hole in their plot, but I suspect it is more that it just didn’t occur to them as an issue because they didn’t know enough about the Indian immigrant community to realize it was unusual.
Second, it was revealed that Alex was sent to live with relatives in Bombay for ten years as a teenager. Which is okay I guess, a little unusual, would have some effect on her schooling and transcripts when she moved back to the US, but not that strange. But then she disappeared for a year and it turned out she was traveling to Pakistan and Iran so she could “see for herself” what was really happening in those countries, and that she had a good friend who was killed by a drone strike and who was a suspected terrorist. Okay, what? Really, WHAT?!? Ignoring everything else, Iran is just not that close to Bombay! And where was she hearing all this anti-Iran propaganda? In India, which has had a defense cooperation agreement with Iran for over ten years? Which, in fact, considers Iran one of its closest diplomatic and trading partners? Pakistan, sure, I guess, you would hear a lot of anti-Pakistani sentiment in India. But in terms of “seeing the truth”, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to go to Kashmir? Where the truth is a lot harder to parse? And where she would be a lot more likely to meet a “not-really-a-terrorist-but-a-freedom-fighter” type? And where she wouldn’t need a passport to get across the border? And then my biggest problem, the implication that in order to meet a terrorist, she would have needed to leave Bombay. Which is demonstrably false, because Priyanka in real life actually does know terrorists (Sanjay Dutt, for instance (okay, I know Sanju’s situation is complicated, but he is legally a terrorist right now)) and she met them right there in Bombay where they are part of the powerful local criminal underground. So why not have Alex Parrish the character meet her saintly terrorist acquaintance at some local nightclub around the corner from her Aunt’s apartment? Seems a lot more believable then sneaking across the border to visit one of India’s biggest trading partners that she could have just visited legally!
Third, the most recent episode seemed to imply that her mother “Sita” might have been secretly working for Pakistani intelligence. How would that even work? She has enough family support around in India to be able send her daughter there for ten years, but none of them noticed that she was secretly trained by Pakistani intelligence? And, I assume, none of them would have supported it if they did notice, because her name is “Sita” so she is from a Hindu family. Does this go back to the flawed geography? Do they think “Sita” could have bopped over to Pakistan for a weekend, received all her training, and come home before her parents even noticed she was gone? I would say that “Sita” was a cover identity, except that she sent her daughter to live with family in India, so unless there is a whole elaborate family sleeper cell living in Bombay, all pretending to be Hindu but actually Pakistani agents, that doesn’t make sense. But oh my gosh, now I really want it to be true! Can you imagine? Alex rebels by sneaking across the border to Pakistan to find the “truth”, but the boring family she trusted were actually terrorists the whole time?
Oh well, only 13 episodes left. And with any luck, it will end with Priyanka’s death scene, and we can see if actual death is enough to make her smear her mascara.
So, this isn’t really that film related (except that it sounds exactly like a film plot), but I am fascinated by the coverage of the Indrani Mukerjea murder case.
So, to recap, the police picked up a guy for a weapons charge. While they were “interrogating” him, he suddenly confessed to hiding a body in the forest and setting it on fire, 4 years early. Further questioning revealed, he had done this at the behest of his employer, Indrani Mukerjea, wife of the head of Star TV India. And that the body was that of her sister, Sheena Bora, who Indrani had drugged and strangled.
Over the next few weeks, almost every hour seemed to bring another juicy detail. First, although Indrani had introduced her as her sister, in fact the victim was her daughter. And she had a secret son as well, Mikhail. And that son had also been drugged that night, but had managed to escape before being murdered.
It also came out that Indrani’s stepson, Rahul, had been living with Sheena. They were in love and planned to marry, but Indrani disapproved. Indrani’s husband, Peter, agreed with her and had cut his son out of his life entirely, not having spoken to him for years.
Now, weeks later, after the excitement has died down, the final information on motive and details of the events that lead to the murder have started trickling out. And as I read them, something finally clicked into place, and I realized what this reminded me of! Not a movie, but other news stories I have read, American news stories about spousal abuse leading to murder.
In those murders, and in this one, ultimately, there is no motive, at least not one an outsider can understand. The motive is simply that the victim acted as though they had needs and wants and a life outside of their abuser. And by this point, the abuse had gone on for so long, and had been so accepted by everyone around them, that even a murder did not seem outside of the bounds of reasonable response.
In America, it is relations between couples that are considered so private, and so sacrosanct, that outsiders are afraid to comment, and those inside the relationship are so ashamed that they would never consider sharing their problems. The abusers take advantage of societies blind-spots to push the limits and become increasingly comfortable with their power.
In this story, it is the relationship between parent and child that is considered so private, and so powerful, that no one is allowed to interfere or judge. Peter and Indrani Mukerjea were respected members of Bombay society. No one found it odd that Peter would cut off all contact with his son merely because he dared to fall in love with someone of whom he disapproved. No one found Indrani’s cover story for the disappearance of her “sister” odd, that Sheena Bora would be sent overseas to study by her “parents” (in reality, her grandparents) and not allowed to contact any friends or relatives, because she had a relationship that did not have her parents’ approval.
Worst of all, the newly released emails and texts show that Sheena herself accepted all that was done to her. For years, she allowed her own identity to be lied about, to be a sister instead of a daughter. She barely objected when her mother and stepfather sold the apartment she was living in, she put off her engagement to the man she loved, and even in the midst of a fierce battle with her mother, when threats had been made which lead her own boyfriend to suggest she it would be unsafe to be alone with her parent, she still agreed to meet with Indrani.
This same symptom of abuse is still apparent in her brother, Mikhail. His mother attempted to murder him years ago, and did murder his sister, and yet Mikhail was still so afraid of her, that he never called the police, never spoke to any friends or family members, and may have even helped cover up the murder by maintaining his sister’s facebook profile.
And even if Mikhail had gone to the police, likely nothing would have happened. Rahul, Sheena’s boyfriend and possibly the only decent person in her life, did go to the police. He went immediately, he recorded messages and saved texts and emails. He knew Indrani was a threat and that Sheena loved him and would never have left simply because her mother told her to. The police did not believe him. Despite all his evidence, they took the statement of the victim’s mother and ignored that of her live-in boyfriend.
Tying this all back into film, FINALLY, this reminded me of Tevar, the remake of a southern film starring Arjun Kapoor and Sonakshi Sinha which came out last year, and which I finally watched last weekend. Sonakshi is being stalked by a powerful gunda. She runs away, with her parents’ support, planning to fly to America. The villain and his gang track her down, and she is rescued by Arjun, who hides her in his home. Coincidentally, his father is a police officer who has been assigned to track Sonakshi down!
This is all fine, kind of cute, romantic, whatever. The problem is, once Arjun’s father discovers Sonakshi is staying in their home, the narrative suggests that he is in a moral quandary. While we, the viewer, know that the heroine’s parents wish her to leave and go to America, he has been told that they do not, and therefore it is his duty as a police officer to bring her back home.
But this isn’t a moral quandary, right? All he has to do is ask the grown up person standing right in front of him what she wants to do, does she want to go to America or does she want to go back home. But that is not an option. Because she is not a grown up person who belongs to herself, she belongs to her parents. The audience is supposed to sympathize with him, to know that if her parents want her back, the right thing to do is to take her home. Even if she begs, even if she runs from him, even if he has to beat her and put her in chains, it is always a parent’s right to decide what they do with their children, especially their female children.
And that is why Sheena went to meet her mother that day, and that is why Indrani thought it was perfectly normal to drug her daughter, to put her in the backseat of her car, to strangle her with her own scarf, and to pay her driver to dump the body, and then to go about her life with no guilt, no regrets, and no sense that she had done anything wrong.
(more thoughts on Indian family relations, here and here )
So, everyone keeps telling me, “start a blog! Start a blog!” So fine, I’ll start a blog! And either it will be a huge success and I will go on to fame and fortune, or it will fail and I can go back to everyone and say “ha! I was right! Starting a blog was pointless!” So, really, either way, I win.
dontcallitbollywood 