Kalank! If you have a lot of time on your hands, a Prime subscription, and laundry to fold, this is worth watching. But not otherwise.
Continue readingMadhuri Week! Her Last Terrible Movie, Kalank!
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Tag Archives: Kalank
Battle of the Champions: Which of These is the Worst Mother? Kapoor & Sons, Kalank, or Agneepath?
I am highly prejudiced of course (as everyone is on subjective things like parenting), but to me these are the absolute WORST mothers in recent Hindi film. Would you agree? And which is really the worst?
Continue readingDiscussion Post: What Do We Want to Wish for Varun on His Birthday? What Should Happen to Him This Year?
Happy Birthday Varun!!!! Another year ahead of you, so many opportunities and decisions and exciting things coming your way. And I have Thoughts as to what you should do next.
Continue readingHappy Day Before Ash Wednesday! Songs with FIRE!!!!
Another one of those loosely thematic song posts that you get to add on to in the comments! Such fun!
Continue readingMost Underserved Female Character of 2019 Award Poll Post, is it Alia in Kalank or the Entire Female Cast of Mission Mangal?
Where there is light, there most be dark. We had the surprisingly good female characters, now let us look at the surprisingly bad ones. Not the ones that were the focus of their movies that we knew would be bad, or the average lame heroine roles we are used to, but the ones that were surprisingly remarkably bad.
Continue readingNews Round-Up: Karan Interview, SRK Tweet, and Bharat Tickets
Kind of a slow news day. I decided to ignore the stories that are about people talking about other people talking about things, because I hate those stories, and just focus on the ones that are actual things.
Continue readingHappy Varun Dhawan Day! Final Review, Most Recent Film, KALANK!!!
Well, that was fun!!!! If it had released 20 years ago, it would be a solid hit and forgotten in a month, and then it would pop-up on TV occasionally and people would say “oh yeah, that movie!” I don’t know how it will do in today’s world at the box office, but at least critically I want to treat it as the nice unambitious pleasant fairy tale it aspires to be, not as the Great Noble Brilliant Movie that it wasn’t even trying to be. I suspect other reviewers might ding it for not being the Great Noble Brilliant Movie they thing it should be without realizing it never wanted to be that.
Continue readingGlobal Box Office: Kalank Does KaLovely!
Forget all the talk about “flop” Kalank. The long weekend helped in the global box office, but it still did really well. At least, overseas. (numbers available from bollywoodhungama)
Continue readingSilly Sunday: Kalank Without Alia, and Other Script Fixes
If everyone in Hindi film just sent all their scripts to me for a final pass before filming began, everything would be so much better. I can fix it all! Just give me a chance before you spend crores and crores of budget on a movie with an ending that MAKES NO SENSE. Oh and Kalank spoilers, obviously, only read if you have seen the movie. And if you have seen the movie, please give me your opinion and suggestions for other better endings!
Continue readingSaturday Small Talk: I’m Having a Movie Night Again! Help Me Pick a Film
Happy Saturday! No new movie last night, instead I stayed up late finishing my Joseph review (such a pain to find that movie, but worth the hunt and all the internet issues). And today I have a surprisingly busy day.
Continue readingKalank Review (SPOILERS): First Love is True Love is Only Love
What an interesting love quadrangle! I really really like the central set-up concept for this film, and kind of wish it could have been moved out of pre-partition India and into a regular rom-com setting. And really, if you like romances, you should watch it. Don’t spoil yourself! Read my no spoiler review instead.
Continue readingKalank Review (No Spoilers): The Plot is Not What You Think It Is
Well, that was fun!!!! If it had released 20 years ago, it would be a solid hit and forgotten in a month, and then it would pop-up on TV occasionally and people would say “oh yeah, that movie!” I don’t know how it will do in today’s world at the box office, but at least critically I want to treat it as the nice unambitious pleasant fairy tale it aspires to be, not as the Great Noble Brilliant Movie that it wasn’t even trying to be. I suspect other reviewers might ding it for not being the Great Noble Brilliant Movie they thing it should be without realizing it never wanted to be that.
Continue readingWednesday Watching Post: What Are You Reading and Watching and Thinking and Listening to This Week?
Happy Kalank Day! I get to leave work at 5, take Albie Dog to the dog park and let him run for half an hour, then go home and give him dinner and me dinner, then drive over and pick up my friend and KALANK. So exciting! This day cannot end fast enough.
Continue readingMonday Morning Questions: What Do You Want to Ask Me Kalank Week???
Happy Monday! I get to drive to work through 5 inches of snow. For those of you who don’t live in temperate climates, 5 inches of snow on the ground in mid-April is really not normal. But it’s supposed to all melt by this afternoon, so that’s something.
Continue readingNew Kalank Song! I Guess Aditya and Varun Are Friends?
Well, this is a fun song! And an extremely blatantly “we aren’t even trying” historically inaccurate song. Yaaaay! I love when movies stop trying and tell us they aren’t trying! Way better than pretending to be trying but not really.
Continue readingNew Madhuri Song!!!! Not As Good As The Best, But Better Than Nothing!
FINALLY!!!! The thing we have been hoping for all along, ever since Madhuri was cast as a courtesan, an actual new Madhuri dance number. And, it’s not the best. But also, not the worst!
Continue readingKalank Full Length Trailer is Out!!!! (Also, it’s not based on What the Body Remembers)
Well, it’s pretty much what we thought. I think. No subtitles, because Dharma hates us. And then they will magically appear in like 3 hours. WHY DO THEY DO THIS???? Oh, and I actually did 5 minutes of research and confirmed that it is NOT based on What the Body Remembers any more than Paa was based on Benjamin Buttons (yes, that was a story for a while too).
Continue readingSaturday Small Talk: I’m on Vacation! (and Kalank trailer)
Happy Saturday! I’m not even going to apologize for posting less yesterday, I’m on vacation! I deserve a break!
Continue readingNew Kalank Song! Alia Dances, Madhuri Doesn’t, WHY????
New Kalank song! Really lovely visuals, very “big” feeling. And a pretty nice sound, but not mindblowing. Although it is also the kind of song that sometimes isn’t mindblowing on the first listen, and then sticks in your mind.
Continue readingNews Round-Up: All Actresses!!! Kangana Contracts, Alia Dances, Patralekha and Sara Sign
Always so much news on Saturday! Which is nice, because it is easy to write these posts and then I don’t have to think of anything new.
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