So, I should really lead with Manuj Kumar being released from the hospital.  Evergreen actor, produced/starred/directed all time classics, and so on and so on.  But I will wait until there is a funeral and all the important modern people have to go to it and be polite, for once, to their various nemesises.  My favorite kind of news slideshow!  People in white trying not to look like they want to punch each other!  So for now, I will just hope that Manuj is comfortable and leave him in peace.

More importantly, Ram Gopal Varma is dredging up the Sridevi/Boney scandal!  And also continues to be the creepiest man on earth.  Apparently, in his book “Guns and Thighs” (blech!  So Freudian I could vomit!), he talks in great detail about Sridevi’s thighs and how they lead him to fall in love with her and become a filmmaker and why she is still his favorite star.  Creepy!  Creepy creepy creepy!  Normally I don’t like it when Indian husbands get all aggressive about their wives’ honor, but in this case I think Boney Kapoor was totally justified in calling him out on it.  And, hopefully, he also increased the security on his wife and daughters.  Anyway, as quoted in rediff.com, here is RGV’s response to Boney’s angry comments and threat of lawsuits:

‘My advise to Boney is to read my full article in “Guns and Thighs” on Srideviji before spewing venom on me.  I as a fan have more respect for Srideviji than what Boney has for her as a wife..only Srideviji will know the truth of this in her heart,’

‘Srideviji’s fame is not only because of her acting capacity but it’s also because of her thundering thighs –top critics of Himmatwala time. If only acting talent is a measure for stardom why was’nt Smita Patil bigger than Srideviji..The thunder thighs made the difference,’

‘I respect Srideviji for her thighs,her smile,her acting talent,her sensitivity,her persona and above all I respect her love for Boney,’

Okay, dude, just because the “top critics of Himmatwala time” said her thundering thighs made her a star, doesn’t mean you aren’t being creepy for talking about them now.  It just means they were creepy back then and you are creepy now.  Plus, I think in complimenting Smita Patil, you may have accidentally insulted Sridevi AGAIN.  Maybe instead say “If acting talent is taken as a measure for stardom, why wasn’t Smita Patil as big as Srideviji.”  Or maybe talk about Sridevi’s dancing ability and smart fashion sense that highlighted her body, rather than just her body?  Or maybe just don’t be so unutterably creepy that everything which comes out of your mouth makes me want to take a shower?

But did you notice the little comments about her and Boney?  Like, Boney doesn’t appreciate her but she is trapped by her love for him?  Totally bringing up that whole “Boney seduced her and then kept her as his side piece until she got pregnant at which point he divorced his wife and married her at the last minute” scandal.  RGV probably meant to make Boney look bad, and I doubt it even occurred to him that Sridevi wouldn’t want to think about that time either.  Heck, he probably thinks she loves being reminded of her uncontrollable devotion to one man, because isn’t that what all woman aspire towards?  Their holy devotion to their husbands being their only identifying feature?  Sita and Radha had such happy lives, after all!  Anyway, I suspect the real story was a little more of a “Sridevi knew her career would be over as soon as she got married and preferred to be independent as long as possible and then planned a pregnancy right when her career was dropping off a little anyway” kind of thing.  Either way, though, maybe if RGV really respected her, he wouldn’t bring it up at all.

Speaking of bringing up old scandals, rumor has it that Sanjay Gupta is casting his next and wants Hrithik and Kareena in it.  Hrithik is easy, just give a job to his Dad and he will do anything.  Apparently, Rakesh is on board in some capacity (actor? producer? second director?  Who knows!  He is theoretically competent in all those roles!), so Hrithik is too.  But Kareena would be a feat.  Back in the early 2000s, when they co-starred in a bunch of films, their onscreen chemistry and long hours working together lead to the usual affair rumors.  At the time, Kareena was dating Shahid Kapoor, and just barely out of her teens, and Hrithik was married to his high school sweetheart, Suzanne Khan, who also happened to be part of a super powerful producing family.  An affair would have made neither of them look good, Hrithik for seducing a young girl from a very good family, and Kareena for breaking up the marriage of another woman from another very good family.  So they stopped working together, and talking at parties, and sitting next to each other at awards shows, and so on and so on.

And then a couple of years ago, Karan Johar’s perpetually in pre-production Shuddhi was rumored to have them cast as a pair.  It had been ten years since the rumors were hot, Hrithik was still married (and was rumored to have moved on to affairs with other inappropriate women), and Kareena was now married to a powerful husband who had the pull to make sure any rumors of onset hanky-panky would be scotched immediately.

And then Shudhi fell apart (again), and Hrithik got divorced, and a Kareena-Hrithik pairing possibility disappeared.  But now it’s been what, two years at least since the divorce?  No possibility of rumors that Kareena is the one who caused it at this point, she and Saif are still going strong, this could actually work!  And I would kind of love to see them in a Sanjay Gupta film.  Lots of sexy item numbers for Kareena to have fun with, lots of glossy action sequences for Hrithik, and I kind of want to see the crazy Sanjay Gupta lighting filters shining on Rakesh’s bald head.

And if Manuj Kumar does die soon, then all of these people can run into each other at his funeral and give bare-teethed smiles captured by the camera and I will laugh and laugh.